Adrian Durham – what’s he actually for?
His radio “career” in a tailspin of ever-increasing ordinariness, his Meisterwerk book, laddishly titled “Is He All That?” (click here to read the rave reviews) selling like ice cubes at the North Pole, Adrian Durham – self-styled “World’s only celebrity Peterborough United fan” – has lurched unwisely into print again today, in well-known tabloid snotrag the Daily Heil, for whom he contributes a pisspoor weekly column, desperately trying to weave some credibility about his transparently inane ravings. It’s car-crash “journalism”, the kind of reading that can make your eyes bleed and your teeth curl. You wonder if Durham’s middle name might perhaps be “Excruciating” and you speculate as to what, exactly, is going on under that ginger moss covering his skull. “Not a lot” would sum it up. A glance at the interior of poor Adrian’s bonce would doubtless reveal that the wheel is running, but that tragically the hamster is dead.
Today’s effort saw him revisiting his favourite prejudices as he flailed about, hopelessly trying to plug a book that is turning out to be as well received as Custer was at the Little Big Horn. Adrian supports Peterborough United (Peterborough United are thought to be considering an official denial of this) – yet unaccountably, most of the targets for any venting of his bile-engorged spleen tend to move in circles far, far above the mundane milieu of the London Road outfit. He has a go at Arsenal, he has a go at Man U. He “thinks” – for want of a more appropriate word to describe his mental activity – that Italy’s four World Cup triumphs were undeserved, that Arsenal’s “Invincibles” were over-rated and that the 1966 World Cup Final was “a rubbish game”. All views, you may have noticed, that would be calculated to get irate punters calling in to his TalkSPORT “Drivetime” show to disagree with him – which is that lamentable station’s chief tactic for stimulating some sort of interest in their drivel-based output. Rumour has it that TalkSPORT’s motto is “Spout bollocks and count the cash” – and they certainly do seek to profit from the fact that there’s a lot of easily-annoyed mugs out there.
After having his little dig at Man U – always a good way to get some controversy going, as I’ve found myself – Durham turns his attention to Leeds United. “In my book “Is He All That?” one of the most enjoyable chapters to write was called: Don Revie’s Dirty Leeds United”, he gobbles smugly. Then, after the fashion of such talentless hacks, he lamely recycles all the old myths – assassins, filthy, studs, elbows and punches. It’s all been said a thousand times before, and infinitely better than Mr Durham could manage in his wildest dreams. But hey, he enjoyed writing it, which is something. Reading it, to judge from the Amazon reviews, must be as enjoyable as a sharp attack of diahorrea in a space suit. So what is Durham’s problem with Leeds United, that he should drone on and on, ad nauseam, about the fact that he so enjoys hating them? Leeds are, in fact, a club that is almost universally hated. There’s nothing new here, nothing to see; it’s just a convenient and overcrowded bandwagon for the lazy and the inadequate. Hating Leeds is a boring cliché, the only compensating positive is that it has become a badge of honour for the club’s supporters. Couldn’t Durham have aimed to be a little more original?
It really is quite odd, this claimed level of antipathy from such a nonentity as Mr Durham, supporter of such a pallid club as Peterborough. There have only ever been six league meetings between the two clubs, Leeds winning four with one win to Peterborough and one draw. In the Cups, Peterborough caused a shock (though not much of one with the dire Leeds side of that season) in 1986, knocking the clueless Whites out 1-0. Twelve years earlier, Don Revie’s United had cuffed the little upstarts 4-1 on their own ground. In the League Cup, there have been two meetings, both victories for Leeds in 1988, by 2-1 and 3-1 for a 5-2 aggregate. It’s not a long mutual history that the two clubs share, understandably so, given their vastly different pedigrees. The head-to-head record is lop-sidedly in favour of Leeds – but does this really account for Adrian’s much-trumpeted attitude? It seems unlikely, leaving us to conclude that he is after all merely using the populist vehicle of hating Leeds – and particularly the Revie “Super Leeds” vintage – to inflate his own deeply mediocre career and take him to heights that his pitiful lack of talent would otherwise deny him.
It’s all grist to the mill of those Leeds United fans who tend to glance sidelong at the latest nobody to profess hatred, and then give us a brief refrain of “We’re not famous anymore”, which is the Beeston take on post-modernist irony, if you like. Usually, such minor irritants as Durham can be dismissed as one might swat a fly – it’s not as if he has a lot going for him as a person, after all. Leaving aside his gingerness, which no self-respecting Leeds fan would have a go at – after all, we owe massive respect to the likes of Billy Bremner, Gordon Strachan and, erm, David Hopkin from our illustrious history – there’s just so much to ridicule about this puffed-up little gob on a stick. Look again at those book reviews on Amazon – vicious, harrowing stuff. But the downside of all this is that Durham has, by fair means or foul, obtained for himself a platform of sorts – and he seems to want to use it to pump vitriol at our beloved Leeds United. Still, I suppose even the hard-of-thinking have to fill their time somehow.
As far as I’m concerned, if the dismal Mr Durham feels that his personal goals are best attained by droning on about football, Leeds United and other matters wherein he can demonstrate his zero level of knowledge and expertise – then so be it. I’ve had my say on the man and his shoddy “work”, and I think I’ve been more than fair to him. And the funny thing is, I always find it comforting, satisfying and instructive to look at those, like the useless Adrian, best-known for being Leeds United haters – Tony Gale, Man U fans, Ken Bates, Brian Mawhinney, Paul Scally, poor little Dave Jones etc etc – and reflect on, well…..what prats they are. What pitiful, wretched excuses for human beings. There surely has to be a message in there somewhere.
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
Rob, as much as I hate to say it, and I say it with all due respect (because I love this blog,) he is achieving his goal when you devote a whole post to him. The irony is that you write how his radio program loves to incite people to get publicity and profits, and now (probably) the biggest Leeds U blog there is has just devoted a whole post on what a jerk he is. Hmm! I wonder if any of my fellow readers will be calling in! Cha Ching!
Brad (patiently waiting from the other side of the big pond.)
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Hi Brad. One word to consider here, and it’s a selfish one from my point of view. Catharsis. It made me feel better to write that, so I’m willing to accept any highly marginal benefit to him – for the sake of getting that off my chest.
Thanks for your kind words, you do me too much credit. It’s this blog’s first birthday next month; it’s still very much the new kid on the block. Cheers.
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Please do something on Rod Piddle who weekly writes out-dated anti Leeds drivel in the Sunday Times, pathetic little scumbag Millwall fan. On a list of just 3 people who I could easily punch in the face for fun and not feel guilty.
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Who are the other two, Al? Shall we do ’em all at once??
Mr Piddle does sound a legitimate target though.
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have to agree on this one, the man is incredibly annoying Millwall Scum, not a whisper for the Wembley fracas …. no excuses for the prat who hit the goal keeper sorry game escapes me, but did he have in for us ban us, etc etc complete knob wallet blah blah and every Sunday just vents rubbish …. extremely jealous man
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Ken Bates and an old useless boss are the other 2. I would reckon old cuddly Ken is in everyone’s top three. Can’t wait til the old codger bites the bullet and gets told by St Peter to do one downstairs
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I couldn’t agree more with the sentiments expressed – he really is an odious individual, and one who resorts to control of microphone levels when losing an argument. I did wonder if his ex(?) – wife was from Leeds! That would go some way towards explaining his constant and irrational rants. Or is it that he knows the passion of our fans is guaranteed to elicit calls to the radio station?
By the way, what is that fellow Yorkie doing working so comfortably with him – Goughie’s ‘Yorkshireness’ shouldn’t be totally forgotten, even for a Barnsley man.!
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A little too verbose for my taste. Not sure of the benefit of this either. Lets get back to our football and let Adrian’s mum sort his nappy out!
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I’ll do an easier one for you next time Bluesman, promise.
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Let the man minge on …. we all know better, Revies boys played at a different time we gave as good as we got. Having looked at lots of old footage, most of it was harmless, but what always shines through is the football we played…. at times nothing short of magnificent …. as for the dirty Leeds moniker, have a look a this seasons fair play league we are saints…. and of the sinners when confronted laugh it off, they dont like it up em Mr Mainwairing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ha ha, it’s a great picture of the guy, glad he doesn’t like Leeds, according to master Bates we don’t need any more morons in the camp. MOT
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were not famous anymore , were not famous anymore !!
is all i need to say rob
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Erm how old is Mr. Durham? Does he remember Revie’s Leeds side? What an odd person he is.
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Well, predictably, Mr Durham’s Wiki entry is a stub – but it does tell us that he was born in 1969. So, no – he doesn’t remember.
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Dear Rob, I read your posts on a regular basis and always find them well written, to the point and joyous to read. As my car is my office I find myself listening to the said radio show now by default, your post has highlighted what a sanctimonious, self opinionated, git Poshe’s second most infamous fan he is. He sounds like a broken record constantly having digs at not only the Mighty Whites but the Gunners seem to be at the forefront of his hatred too. I had the displeasure of meeting the wirey bronzed bonce prat in London last year. He was in Boisdale’s – Canary Wharf with some other no-mark presenter. To be fair he did take time out and let me introduce myself, but it was cut short when I stated he had the perfect face for radio( I know its an old gag, but that was best I could muster up at the time). I retuned my DAB radio to Absolute and Five live since, they are not getting any more air time in my executive car. His constant dribble irritates the shit out of me and how he managed to persuade publishers to publish his crappy views is an achievement itself, no doubt it will be available from all good car boot, garage sales and from the posh not so souvenir shop soon. Rant over, keep up the good work. MOT
1963Nog
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It’s worthwhile having a rant and copping for a bit of criticism for feedback like that. Many thanks, truly appreciated.
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I think the pleb went to Uni up here and got a bit of treatment off some Leeds boys.
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He went to Uni? To mow the lawns or clean the gutters, presumably.
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Talk sport recently redeemed itself with the appointment of the normally annoying Colin Murray in place of those two tits keyes and gray. That durham bloke is a poster boy for early abortion though. It’s hard to believe that radio stations can still employ turds like him and mike parry. I have had the misfortune of listening to both and what an unpleasant half hour that was. Durham is creepy from head to toe,his voice grates on the listener and his opinions are those of a spoilt boy who craves attention. You can judge by the adverts that their target audience is the termilly cretinous.
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People love someone to hate and hes just jumping on the anti leeds band wagon because its an easy target and gets him some points with all the ignorant cretins that exist in our society.
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ginger twat and useless, after publicity obviously, hence prob the three of the greatest teams ever he constantly slags off the great revie team the invincibles arsenal and late of man u teams oh and england 66 world cup winners the mans a complete turd, peterborough utd says it all ha ha
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You should cut himmsoiem slack, he has to put up with a complete idiot by his side, one of Yorkshire’s best, Mr Darren Gough.
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I listen to drive most nights on way back to work and have stopped taking it remotely seriously. Durham is a self serving little hypocrite who’s mocking tone would irritate even those with inhuman amounts of self control. I was going to ring in once to explain to him what a hypocritical know nowt he is but that’s just it- that’s what his whole purpose of his existence is, to court controversy- you can guarantee that him and his side kick Goughie- will disagree on almost everything-good cop bad cop routine- to whip up a topic for some hearty discussion on something that until a week ago they would have known fuck all about. His producers at TALKSHITE have stumbled on something mind- there are that many people like me who like to shout at him whilst driving home of an evening, that the listening audience must be massive and for them an irritating little shit on the payroll is probably a price worth paying.
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Did you mean to say you listen to drivel most nights?
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Adrian Durham needs to take his face for a shit!
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