Three-sy does it for The Beast
One of the perennial bonuses of a nice solid away win at one of Yorkshire’s lesser clubs is the comical, toxic fallout via Twitter and other social media – as the fans of whichever pit-village team it is we’ve put to the sword go into a bitter meltdown of tears, tantrums and recriminations, spiced with protestations of how they’d been the better team and were – wait for it – “unlucky”. Doncaster yesterday was a typical example of this as their deluded supporters drank deep of the bitter whine produced by the sourest of grapes.
These were the kind of balanced observations you get from having a chip on both shoulders. The more you read – and it really was worth a good old peruse of the Twittersphere in the wake of yesterday’s routine 3-0 stroll – the funnier it got. If you gave it an hour, you could actually feel the health benefits kicking in. The scientific basis of the theories surrounding the endorphins produced by hearty laughter must be beyond all doubt. After sixty minutes or so trawling those dank corners of the internet where Donny fans could be found chewing away at the virtual carpet, I felt positively wonderful. They really do build themselves up for these meetings with Big Brother from up the road – but then if it all goes wrong, they simply can’t handle it – and it’s just so funny to see the teddy bears come flying out of those paltry few thousand cots. Laughter really is the best medicine.
A few gems: “We played by far the better football”. “The goal was miles onside and if it had counted things would of (sic) been different”. “We dominated the match but they had a goalscorer.” And much, much more in this bottomless pit of comedy gold. All of them did their little bit to prove the one central truth in the relationship between Leeds United and those lost souls who support other clubs in Yorkshire: namely that they hate us with a passion, while we can hardly be bothered to notice them – unless we have to soil our studs with the indignity of actually playing them.
This is a deeply painful fact of life for your average envious pariah in Bratfud, Donny, Cleckhuddersfax or in that city of warring pigs, Sheffield. Barnsley, too – they will roll up at Elland Road next weekend suffering from an appalling run that sees them rooted to the bottom of the league – but if they can eke out a win (as they usually do in their Cup Final), it’ll be banquets and open-top bus parades agogo, with souvenir clogs, whippets and flat caps on sale and doing a roaring trade.
Barnsley aside, the intense need to do well against Leeds has often worked against us in the past; our record in Yorkshire derbies is hardly the best. But it’s not too healthy for the tiny but defiant likes of Huddersfield either – they tend to psyche themselves up for the Golden Occasion, all passion and hard, unstinting effort, roared on by their desperate fans – and if they win, they then embark on a miserable run, knackered by the superhuman effort it took to beat the Damned United. Look at Huddersfield’s results since that 3-2 win over Leeds. Classic case of “after the Lord Mayor’s Show”.
I’ve often said that, if United can overcome this frailty against inferior but massively determined opposition, they will prosper. Yesterday’s win at Donny, apart from reducing their hopeful home crowd to bitter tears and tantrums at the scale of the defeat, went a long way to confirming this. On the back of generally improved form lately, United produced a classic away “derby” performance against motivated opposition, taking the lead, weathering the inevitable storm without undue alarm and then smoothly going through the gears after the introduction of a midfield enforcer in Brown. The two late goals emphasised the effectiveness of the approach rather than flattering Leeds; they simply had too much all-round for a committed but out-classed Doncaster side.
If a similar display can be produced against a fired-up Barnsley side next weekend – and this is a game which may well take place on the back of some long-overdue good news for the club – then surely three more points can be expected to send everybody with yellow white and blue blood coursing through their veins into Christmas in a state of good humour bordering on exultation. We’ve said it before – we’ve dared to dream before – but the rest of this season might just be the best time to be a Leeds United fan for a generation.
MOT
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
I am going to work soon Rob. Not the happiest of bunnies. But at least I will be going with a hearty chortle again. Cheers fella..
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No problem, glad someone’s enjoying the blog!!
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Are you Beijing whyte4lyf? You write most your shite when leeds are playing so doubtful you get away much. Donny were much the better team second half you prat
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Bitter much?
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Rob: You really need to understand how much we all appreciate reading your endless stream of well-crafted, interesting and articulate articles. The powers-that-be at the YEP should look at your work and then compare it to the dreary dross regularly churned out by their contributors. Well done.
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I intend to take that completely at face value 🙂
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Loved it!
gerrycwmbran
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Me thinketh that Rob doth brageth too much. What was that, not very important game Leeds lost at Wembly ?, could you please remind me of the pathetic reasons you gave for that loss Rob !
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Erm, I didn’t – I wasn’t blogging then. It’ll be a year on Tuesday, you can come back and wish the blog a happy first birthday.
Five and a half years on, I’m happy to confirm it’s because we were crap. Let’s face it, Donny could only ever beat a crap Leeds team. Now that I’ve helped you out with that answer, maybe you can tell me how many times we’ve beaten Donny since, perhaps with the aggregate score? Or is your memory stuck back in 2008?
Merry Christmas and try not to brood over your latest home thrashing by the Kings of Yorkshire.
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Touché rob agreed we didn’t turn up at Wembley after the game I actually wished a group of Donny fans good luck …. Only to told to fuck off ….. When the boot is on the other foot eh they ran around like fools yesterday and we beat them on the counter the Mac way …. When away MOT and now let’s watch Spurs get spanked again dear oh dear
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Enjoyed your latest blog – thank you. “Tidings of comfort and joy !”
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Another great read which had me chortling over my Cornflakes this morning. Keep it up Rob !
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If there’s one thing that can make me smile of a Monday morning, it’s the thought of my humble output raising a chortle over the cornflakes 🙂 Many thanks for that kind comment.
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Doncaster are punching well above their weight and their fans hardly set the place on fire do they? I think they had best leave that to the chairman.
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That’s really naughty, but I love it!
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McDermott said: ” It was a tough game – there’s no getting away from that.
“I thought we were good value for the lead in the first half but we just couldn’t get out of our half after the interval.
“Doncaster came out in the second half and played really well. We had to change our system to combat that and we did better when Michael Brown came on midway through the second half.
“I’m happy to come away with three points and a clean sheet because they put us under the cosh for a good 20 to 25 minutes.
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Brown seems to have got a lot of credit, some of it even ungrudging, for the effect he had on this game. Good on him, he’s had some stick – but he’s a pro and he’ll always do his bit for the team if deployed correctly – something Brian appears to have got absolutely right.
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Yeah, we are everyone’s cup final! That could be said of Man United? They’ve managed to cope, whereas we haven’t in the past. Posession is great but with no end product it means nothing, so you can’t use that in a 3-0 defeat. I believe it’s called counter attacking, something the best teams do very well. At some point… unless you are crap, all home teams have long periods of posession; you wouldn’t expect anything else. It’s how you cope within those periods and how well you take your chances that wins you the game It’s what Man united/liverpool etc have been doing to teams for years. Obviously this is a lack of knowledge, or brains, or general ignorance. Not unsurprising considering they watch dross week in week out, unless it’s against Leeds United. It is astounding at the level of vitriol aimed at us from lesser clubs and their fans, who are so bitter they search out pages such as this, obviously a personality disorder. The bitterness is all too great after you’ve built yourself up for a giant killing and it doesn’t come off.
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