Vincent Tan, contemplating his less-than-prolific ‘keeper
The football season is over for Leeds United – in truth, it has been for some weeks, certainly well before the league programme ended with that draw against Derby. So, the choice is between speculating about developments behind the scenes at Elland Road, or having a nice pleasurable little dance on a couple of old rivals’ graves. I’ve done my share of Leeds United speculation for the day – it looks like it’s time to get nasty then, and celebrate the downfall of two sets of fine, feathered friends in the Canaries and the Bluebirds.
If I could have had the privilege of selecting two out of three clubs to drop out of the Premier League this season, and join us down here among the dead men, then those two would have been Cardiff and Norwich. So, I got my own way – and I’ll be looking forward to a renewal of hostilities next season. In the Norwich case, my desire to see them fall is something I’ve gone into already, and all of my negative feelings around that scenario were directed really at the Canaries’ annoyingly chirpy fans who took such pleasure in their favourites recruiting three-quarters of our League One midfield. I’ve made myself suitably unpopular on their effeminately-named message board The Pink ‘Un, and that’ll do for me. I’ve no real problem with the club itself – I’m an admirer of Stephen Fry, and even old Delia Smith is good for a laugh, especially for that famously “tired and emotional” rallying call to the Ciddy fans – something that always brings me at least a smile, no matter how grumpy I might feel.
So much for Norwich. Cardiff is a rather more complex case – there are Leeds United reasons for my gladness to see them come tumbling back down after one solitary season out of their comfort zone, and they date back to a horrible afternoon of FA Cup combat followed by vile crowd scenes, whipped up by their idiotic then-owner Sam Hammam – an episode we need not revisit here. But there are wider justifications for my intense distaste for Cardiff City that have arisen only this season. They relate to the club’s current owner and dictator Vincent Tan – a man whose knowledge of football would fit comfortably inside a peanut – and yet one who arrogantly thinks he knows best about everything and is prepared to ride roughshod over tradition and supporter upset alike to have his own way.
The fact is that, despite historic grievances, my sympathy has been with the Cardiff fans ever since Tan marched in and started changing their club in an arrogant and unilateral fashion. He decided that success was more likely if the team wore a predominantly red strip – no matter that they’d always been associated with blue – the nickname “Bluebirds” is a relevant clue here. Tan also displayed his phenomenal knowledge of the sport by openly questioning the goalkeeper’s scoring record – presumably the club’s football professionals were too polite or intimidated to laugh in his face.
But then Tan surpassed himself. With Cardiff relatively comfortably placed in the Premier League, and wins over the likes of eventual champions Manchester City behind them, Tan decided that the manager who had realised the top-flight dream – Malky Mackay – was not, after all, good enough. The owner therefore proceeded to undermine, belittle and unsettle his manager at every opportunity over a period of weeks. Mackay was so clearly a dead man walking – so evidently doomed to lose his job – that obviously results began to suffer, and that early season work of consolidation began to unravel.
Eventually, the inevitable happened and Malky Mackay was out of a job. Some wise Championship club is going to get themselves a very good manager for zero compensation there (I wonder who it might be? Bleedin’ Norwich, probably). Tan, further exploiting his vast oceans of football knowledge, recruited Ole Gunnar Solskjær, who had known success in the Norwegian League, but who looked from the off like a rabbit caught in the headlights in the pitiless environment of the Premier League. Before too long under Solskjær’s inexperienced guidance, Cardiff were obviously doomed to go down. Defeat followed defeat, and Solskjær looked more clueless with every setback. The end, when it came, was no surprise to anyone who knew anything about football, and therefore probably an earth-shattering shock to the deluded and massively ignorant Vincent Tan.
What can most certainly be said about Cardiff’s relegation is that it is definitely A Good Thing. Not because it will discourage the incompetent likes of Tan from presuming that they know best, all the time, about everything – but because, if results had picked up after Mackay’s sacking, and Cardiff had somehow survived, this might have seemed to stand as a vindication of Tan’s ridiculous and bizarre methods – and that, whatever wounded Cardiff City supporters might currently be feeling, would not be good for the game.
The whole episode cries out for some protection of professional football men against the crazy whims of crass amateurs – although it’s highly doubtful that anything will happen, due to the inertia and complacency that characterises both the Football Association and the Football League. So Tan will presumably carry on in his own sweet way – and the rest of the game can only hope that real football people will avoid his club as they might a bad smell.
We welcome Cardiff City back to the Championship, and we look forward to our games against them. Leeds United’s recent record in those games is not particularly good – but perhaps there is less need to worry these days. It’s quite probable that, even now, Tan is looking for the most prolific goalscorer he can afford – and that we will see that bewildered young man in goal for the Bluebirds when we host them at Elland Road.
Let’s just hope it’s not Ross McCormack.
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
He’s obviously a scum fan.
Gets the team to play in red
Hires solskjar
Knows fuck all about football
😀
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I can’t believe you’re having a go at Cardiff City.
Have you taken badly to their coin throwing, verbal abuse and mindless violence aimed at travelling Leeds fans?
I think Cardiff should be congratulated for there inclusive policy, I have never seen so many home fans with learning difficulties.
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I see what you did there.
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frickin funny MH was gonna chirp in with me ten peneths worth on whoreswitch and the redbirds, but pissed my self laughing so much, I touched cloth !
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How vulgar 🙂
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Don’t forget to bring umbrellas next season. Even for the women and kids.
If it had been us chucking bottles of piss around would have been tabloid outcry, special policing and whatever the football league could chuck at us.
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Snoddy will stay up the rest will come down realising that the grass is not greener on the other side more of a yellow colour…cardiff done my head in the day they signed bellamy paying half his wages on loan despite the fact they were on brink of administration the whole thing stank
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Love reading your articles daily – and the comments posted !
Somehow managed to miss the one about Norwich…I too have delighted in their downfall and relish the fixture next season – hopefully Snodgrass will not want to play in the Championship (sound familiar ?) and will have moved on…by far the best export from ER but even HE couldn’t save the Canaries…how sad !!!
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snodgrass will go Celtic I reckon.
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His brother thinks not.
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Totally deluded and not realistic and poorly written this article. Course your players were going to move on after years in league one and the Championship with no real signs of getting promoted ! Get in the real world and smell the coffee pal ! Stay with a club who can’t guarantee paying your wages or move onto a financially stable and well structured and well run club, despite relegation from footballs top table ! Not rocket science is it mate ? Your club has been the laughing stick of football this year, is Mr McDermott still in charge this week or not ? Stick to hating man utd mate !
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I take it you’re a budgie having a tantrum? “Laughing stick” – arf! Not easy, that twelve-fingered typing lark…
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Yeah slip of the finger ! No tantrum just can’t believe you lot are happy Norwich have been relegated just because 4 of your ex players decided to leave a club in trouble to go to play for a team at the time which had more potential , more like sour grapes from you whites ! Just take more satisfaction that Man U won nothing rather than us being relegated,unless of course you’re frightened Mr McCormack will be signing for us after Howson, Johnson, Snoddyband Bechio are going to give him a glowing reference about how are club is still so much better than yours ! You’re not famous anymore remember ! LOL
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You’ve missed the point I’ve repeatedly made that the target for wrath – in my case anyway – is not the club or even the players. It’s those yonner fans of yours who thought it was so much fun to take the piss about feeder clubs etc, but who are now squealing like stuck piglets on that silly Pink’Un site because the nasty Leeds blog is having a go back. Karma is indeed a bitch, my backwoods friend. Suck it up.
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Ho ho ! If I remember rightly it was the Leeds fans who couldn’t believe you were a feeder club for us, and be-littling Norwich and harping on about how your best players were leaving Leeds for a little old team over in East Anglia before realising that Leeds were years away from promotion, so instead of being realists decided to slag my team off because your star players decided to jump ship ! I won’t lose any sleep about your comments, your picture makes me laugh just as much as your replies do ! Just keep your fingers crossed your club is still around next month when the fixtures come out as I see you’re facing yet another winding up order this week !
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Yeah, I can tell you’re not bovvered, not bovvered at all 🙂
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That’s the truest thing you’ve written all night pal ! You’re right I’m not…well not about your article or post comments anyway !
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Calm down mate and untwist your knickers! We believe you!!
Well – nearly 😉
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I’m sure you do believe me ! I’m sure those Class A drugs allegedly spotted at Elland road hasn’t clouded anyone’s judgement ! LOL !
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Blimey, this kid is SO not bovvered, he’s setting up as a stalker.
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Nah…just want the last word ! Seriously, good luck next year ! Lived in Wakey for 10 years and know what Leeds Utd is to people round there ! Should be a top flight club !
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OK mate, you have the last word and welcome.
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You have the internet in Norfolk?!?!?
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Chirp on skid your down see you at the fortress, bring Delia we can all have tea and cake proper like ……
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I was pleased too because none of the three to go down are ‘gimmes’ to bounce straight back. Sunderland would have done. Mind you, given events closer to home i see next season as more about staying up again than a genuine challenge for the Top Six. We all hope for the best from Cellino, but the auguries (last augurs please!) are not good: he was going to buy back Elland Road the same week wasn’t he. Curious about the retained list. Think they’d have sorted that by now. And can’t Ross go to Fitness First like the rest of us? On and on….
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I don’t need any excuses to dislike welsh clubs that play in the English league hence I’m perfectly happy to see Cardiff and Northwitch go down. Cardiff is in Wales isn’t it?
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I believe so….
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Nowt personally against swansea, but yeah Its the english league. Maybe the welsh teams should join the SPL and give Celtic some half decent competition.
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We should try and get malky mackay, he’s a free agent and should be equiped to handle the pressure at Leeds after putting up with tan.
Also glad harveys nefarious plan to give the club to that Malaysian casino company got scuppered, can you Imagine If some idiot tried to get us to play in “lucky” red?
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Thank goodness no-one at Leeds ever chose to ignore history and unilaterally impose a kit-change.
Oh …
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I would love to hear something from cellino about getting rid of the 20 regal, the bollywood bling and the man city reserves strips.
get us back in classic all white and we will sell loads of shirts.
maybe he can use his Italian business connections to get us a nice diadora strip or something.
mind a RED strip would have caused a bloody riot.
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Cardiff and norwich were on my wish list too ,, all for reasons mentioned above , the other team I wanted to go down was west ham , just so I could have a good laugh at HF, but it doesn’t seem to matter now his mum has took his computer from him and made him enter the eurovision song contest
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Sheep botherers going down, perfect. Love the city of Cardiff but their football club has been a pain in the arse since hamman’s lap of dishonour. No she’s tears from me there, and Naaaaaaaaaarwich going down is sweet justice, howson and Johnson will be the only former leeds alumni to stay, snoddy to go to to Newcastle or Sunderland and becchio will go to a championship club like forest or Brighton. Just think though, over in Norwich so many peoples uncle-dad-brother-sons with their 11 fingered, lazy-eyed, sloth-from-the-goonies faces will be excited to make the journey up to the promised land next season to play their “feeder club”. Will have to welcome them with a nice trough of swill outside elland road to make them feel at home. 🙂
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The chickens are really coming home to roost with Cardiff and Norwich getting relegated, after both clubs sacked good managers and replaced them with people, who have zero experience in a managing a football club in the Premiership.
I don’t know who Solskjaer thinks he is? Just because he played for Scum and Norway, he automatically thinks that he is a fantastic manager.
It has been long proven that 90% a top players from the top flight, have always struggled to be a success as a manager.
I just hope that the Leeds V Cardiff games for next season are not the usual 3 points for Cardiff and Leeds get the better of them for once.
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Rob, as funny as ever, I cannot have any sympathy for the Bluebirds either, any team who has been in the shadow of rugby for all its existence is always going to have problems….. but the thing that makes me giggle Like a demented Jack Torrance (The Shining) is apparently Dave (Really, I am Welsh) Jones advised Tan to take Ole Ole Gunnar as the man to keep Cardiff up! Go On Vincent you know you want to…..Make Mr Angry Jones your Manager, give us another giggle…..Oh, and wasn`t our former Welsh goalkeeper (Gazza Sprake) the highest scoring top flight Goalie!!??
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Ha, fantastic stuff. Cheers Rob 🙂
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Norwich sacked a negative lifeless useless manager who was as bad at Brum,they are a small well run NO DEBT CLUB,who signed one Leeds player and he told the rest to get there quick and they did. Agood manager would have got that side mid table ,THE SAME AS A GOOD MANAGER would have got Leeds in play offs
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Was there a point to that?
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I’m happy to see Cardiff down, detestable fans, if THEY come out with anti English chants, that’s classed as banter, if WE showed our contempt equally for that principality, oh well that’s racist. Dislike them with a passion, they should be in the league of wales, they would be in the champions league then, happy days .
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Rob we are coupled on the tote in our feelings of satisfaction
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The point is Leeds (we) are in no position to have a dig at Norwich we are never any where near going up and always in massive debt
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The point is, you’ve missed the whole point – which I was at some pains to make clear; i.e. that the target of any “dig” was the Norwich fans, not the club or the players. I did try to explain this simply, but you’re always going to get people who react to what they think they’ve seen or read. Ho hum.
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