The Football League board, yesterday
The Football League have moved to smooth ruffled feathers at Huddersfield Town, after a “misunderstanding” led to the hosts in Saturday’s West Yorkshire derby missing out on the current “penalty against Leeds United” refereeing policy. A League spokesman, Ivor Whytes-Grudge QC, confirmed that a “formal apology” had been issued, but insisted that it was just a communications breakdown that had led to the Terriers being denied a spot-kick at some point in the game. The formal League position is that the appointment of an official from the Premier League pool was to blame; the League’s own refs, they say, are well aware of current requirements as can be seen from statistics in recent matches involving Leeds.
When pressed on the matter of penalties, Mr Whytes-Grudge was emphatic. “The League has nothing to be ashamed of here. This has been a simple mistake and, as we all know, mistakes will happen from time to time. But if you look at Leeds last three games, it’s clear we’ve been doing our bit – at least with our own officials,” he added, wryly. “In those three games prior to Huddersfield, there has been a well dodgy penalty awarded against Leeds in each match. Further, in the Birmingham game at Elland Road, two nailed-on awards for Leeds were brilliantly refused. And against Bournemouth, the ref managed to award a penalty near the end and send the Leeds player off – when the foul was outside the box, with covering defenders. Sadly, the silly lad Kermorgant missed it – we’re actually considering a disrepute charge over that.”
What went wrong in the Huddersfield game, then? Surely, they’re feeling dogged by bad luck? “Well, it was a shame, but it was just one of those things. We had the appointment of Chris Foy imposed on us, after he was dropped for that weekend from the Premier League. Then – and we have to hold our hands up here – it was down to us to brief Mr. Foy thoroughly on current Football League policies. And that didn’t happen. Our bad.”
So will normal service be resumed this weekend? Mr Whytes-Grudge was cautious. “We’ll have to see about that. This Huddersfield complaint had to be looked into, and we’ve had to do a proper grovel – but it has rather brought things out into the open. The Leeds coach, Redfearn – he was starting to make a few remarks about them being got at and, when you’re sussed, you have to have a rethink and come up with a Plan B. We might just have to be a little bit subtle from here on in – know what I mean?”
Legendary Football League administrator Alan Hardaker, 102, is dead.
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
I always enjoy your articles Rob, but I love the ones of this ilk. The only thing I find with them is I laugh my head off when first reading them, then I get slightly worried that you are to close to the truth.
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Bloody hell, I might just quit while ahead! That’s EXACTLY what I’m after!! Cheers 🙂
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Official statement from Shaun Harvey of the Football League…….
“The back to back victories have sent shock waves through the Football League and the customary bogus penalty situation will be restored for the Brentford game. Should there be no examples of non penalties that are easily converted into penalties, the League will adopt a policy of refusing blatant penalties for Leeds United, thus ensuring an uphill battle for the Damned and Dirty. Despite his valliant efforts, the Referee for the Bournemouth game has been removed from our recognised list after failing to ensure a home defeat for them bastards in white”
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Subtle 😉
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But don’t worry…these things even out over a season.
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Very good as always Rob 😜
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Excellent article Rob as ever. Just to clarify for my ageing eyes. In the pic of the FL Board, is Harvey the one with glasses & green with envy, or the one in the brown hat wearing no glasses to try and look younger?
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I like to leave these things open to individual interpretation 😊
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If it weren’t true it would be funny, unfortunately the League now seem to have a vendetta against Leeds United and hopefully (yeah right) someone is going to actually turn this against them at some stage.
Until that happens we have to put up with the total bias that is the football league.
Those that can, do, those that can’t teach, those that are too incompetent to do either are running the football league.
Shine on Harvey loon……….
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Apologies for the sober response here but I can’t help feeling that Leeds fans are a bit biased! Myself included…. usually. But the Trees game – when Matty Fryatt was denied a valid hat-trick by some dodgy linesman’s decisions. As a Leeds fan I’m grateful for the point, but as an objective fan of the beautiful game, sorry!
I can’t help thinking that we get, on average, an equal amount of good and bad decisions (and Billy Sharp’s not complaining either). So I’m ill inclined to whinge about the refs.
Sorry Rob, I know I’ve let you down by not unleashing my usual vitriol, I think I must be feeling a bit ill or summat. I’ll try and do better next time. Maybe there’ll be a big hoo-ha against The Nylons on Saturday, then I can join in with the conspiracy theorists. Until then, let’s hope for a 3 valid points and a further climb away from the stench of the relegation fodder.
I reckon 2-1 to us, or 1-0, or at worst, 1-1. Please note that I’m not predicting a 5-0 trouncing this time. I need more wine!
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You should finish the bottle, old chap 😉
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Quite believable Rob.
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So in that case, Foy’s decision not to award US either of the two dead cert penalties (after assaults on Byram & Antenucci which took place within seconds of each other) must be down to his own personal bias against Leeds, I suppose.
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Yep – clearly this will redeem him somewhat in the eyes of the FL – if not the poor old pooches!
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Reblogged this on altwoodmoon's Blog and commented:
The truth is out there at last.
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Rob, just to be clear, are you suggesting there is and always f##kin has been some sort of bias against Leeds United from the football league?
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Bloody hell! I suppose it COULD be read that way….
Better tone it down a bit 😊👍
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Yes, Alan Hardaker, the man who hated Revie and cost Leeds at least three trophies
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Leeds dare to win by a last minute goal at the un-mighty Huddersfield and for the last week there has been outrage, NO credit, excuses, sidetracking situations, on the day of the game and now the Football league are feeling sorry for un-mighty Huddersfield, getting beaten by the “big bad wolf, cash cow” called Leeds United.
The whole shabby and disgusting situation of Huddersfield, the BBC and the Football League doing all they can to take the gloss off Leeds daring to win at Huddersfield last Saturday is unbelievable.
The Tommy Smith injury, may have been bad at the time, but it conveniently sidetracked Leeds very important last minute victory and now the Football League are apologizing for the referee not giving the dog botherers a penalty, that would have put another dent in Leeds survival in the Championship.
The Football league and all of those Leeds hating clubs and fans, should be very careful in what they wish for, because without Leeds United in the Championship, THEY have NO twice a season Cup Final and they will have NO once a season full house at their grounds, without Leeds fantastic support.
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Erm……. :-O
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