The Mighty Tangerines celebrate one of their three throw-ins this season
With the kind of run Leeds United have been on lately – and, it must be said, the not exactly dominant or decisive way in which those positive results have been gained – a trip to Blackpool might just hold more in the way of a dirty great banana-skin than the long-advertised “fresh air and fun” for our Warriors in White.
That is not to say that Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything expects or would willingly accept anything less than a breezy win against the division’s whipping boys. It’s just that – well, we’ve all been here before; Leeds have this endearing habit of nicking results against the odds, or even disposing of league high-flyers as we’ve done home and away with AFC Bournemouth and Middlesbrough Ironopolis. And then, drat them all to hell and back, they go and let you down against opposition they should be rolling over and stomping into the earth. They’re a contrary mob, our Leeds – coupon-busters more often than most, and not always in a good way.
Even so, it’s difficult to see how United might contrive to lose this one, or even be held to a draw. It’s got victory written all over it; I’ve seen social media conversations devoted entirely to the knotty issue of whether we’ll prevail by five clear goals, or only four. They rightly say that pride goeth before a fall, but that’s not just pride we’re talking about there. It’s dangerously close to hubris or, as we say in the Broad Acres, proper beggin’ for a smack in t’gob. Should such a smack arrive, as would hardly be a surprise to those hard-bitten cynics among us who are students of the many and varied ways in which Leeds United can manage to lose a game, then perhaps those youthful and over-confident denizens of the internet might just consider keeping their injured gobs shut in the future.
All of that verges dangerously on the needlessly pessimistic; perhaps subconsciously this blog is attempting to ward off a negative result at Blackpool by attempting some reverse psychology with the Fates who decide this sort of thing. In reality, Blackpool are where they are – all but actually relegated, well before Easter – because they’re an ill-run club with an inadequate playing staff who have struggled against just about everybody this campaign. The Tangerines are so far behind in the Championship that the likes of Watford and Bournemouth have both lapped them at least once – and the relegation fight has long been a question of Blackpool and two others.
Leeds appear to have learned how to win ugly; Blackpool don’t seem to know one end of a football from the other. On paper, it should be boys against men – with our gallant troops ending up being castigated in the Lancashire Press for unseemly bullying and an unsporting lack of mercy. Would that it might be so. Without wishing to sound spoiled, the experience of seeing our lads hand out a good sound thrashing without once being troubled would be balm to the nerves. Wednesday’s 3-0 win at Fulham was anything but comfortable once you looked beyond the scoreline. What we need now is to go that extra mile and absolutely batter someone.
As if Blackpool’s problems aren’t already severe enough, their sketchy squad is weakened still further by several likely absentees for this weekend. Lugubrious Geordie manager Lee Clark, looking to end a run of six straight defeats, will probably miss Tom Barkhuizen for the game. The 21 year old picked up a foot injury in the loss to Charlton Athletic, and Clark explained, “Tom took a nasty whack on the top of his foot, so he’ll probably not be available for us. He hasn’t trained at all since Charlton.” Jamie O’Hara and Niall Maher are also ruled out for the game and Tony McMahon is suspended. “We are what we are tomorrow,” concluded Clark, glumly.
For Leeds, there is some chance of a first view at this level of January loan signing Granndi Ngoyi, with Rudy Austin also a possible returnee. Steve Morison is pushing for a recall against opposition that even he will fancy scoring against, and youngster Kalvin Phillips will continue to press for a Whites début at some stage. Some Blackpool fans are reportedly boycotting the match in protest at the running of the club, favouring a North West Counties Premier Division encounter instead of more probable Championship pain. It’s to be hoped that their pessimism is justified and that this blog’s wishes of royally tonking someone might be granted on Saturday by the seaside.
And yet that horrible banana-skin vision persists, so I’m not even going to stick my neck out far enough for a score prediction. Braver souls than I are cordially invited to give their own confident result forecasts below…
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
0-3 leeds
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How come these Blackpool Idiots – already relegated barring a mathematical miracle of cosmological proportions – how come they offer Leeds an allocation of 1,650? Don’t they like money? What’s that all about?? They could have sold out three sides of the ground to Leeds fans and netted a nice little pot to help them out in League 1…. “an ill-run club…” seems like an understatement Rob! Your banana skin warning has the touch of the Revie reverse superstition about it – quite right too. If we can replicate the first half performance at Elland Road in BOTH halves of the game and keep a clean sheet… we’ll be well happy. 🙂 MOT
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Get off the fence “Frank”, and give us a scorecast 😉
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“Henry” to you mate… 3-0 Leeds :-0
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One nil off off Morrison’s arse will do me
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Me too I guess. But I’d sulk.
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In Blackpool I bought one of those pens which, when you turn it upside down, shows a woman without her swim suit. Like that pen, I have a feeling about this game that it’s likely to be a pants down experience for one club or the other. Let’s hope the Tangerines peel their kit. Hubris is a scary concept.
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Lovely word though 😊👍
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I backed Leeds to beat Fulham on Wednesday and at the same time I backed them to win 3-0 tomorrow , so although I was glad of the win on Wednesday the chances of two back to back 3-0 away wins are pretty slim rob , but fingers crossed
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Toes, too.
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Do you reckon we will improve our chances of avoiding a “banana skin” outcome if our players borrow Newcastle’s flip flops to play in on the deep sand of Bloomfield Road Rob?
Like your good self Rob, over the years I have too many bad memories of complete disappointments in respect of supposed ‘nailed on’ wins for our lads, but in view of our recent (and unprecedented consistent), amazing transformation away from home, I predict that Neil will give the team a rallying dressing room b*****king before kick off (to avoid having to do so at half time as he did at Fulham), and our boys to romp to a 5-0 win (2-0 at half time).
Off topic Rob, given the average age of our current team do you think that any of the rumoured buyers of our club will rebrand us as Young Boys FC?
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I guess that might be an option if we were looking to attract sponsorship from the Priesthood or the Cabinet Inner Circle…
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In a way I’m GLAD that Blackpool shot themselves in the foot (or wallet) by hopelessly under-allocating Leeds tickets. Their own fans are staying away in droves, which all points to the disgusting Oyston family being denied a lucrative pot to dip into. It’s a beautiful thing.
I reckon Blackpool’s players – and fans – have given up, so I reckon the six goals Redders felt we could have got at the Cottage, we will get at the seaside.
1-6 to Leeds, with Blackpool’s consolation an own-goal off Morison. Admittedly at the wrong end, but enough to send happy Leeds fans into the sea in celebration. Hurrah!
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Could live with that 👍
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I have been working in Bradford today, where the eclipse has lasted 25 years and their ‘council rec’ pitch has helped their boring cup run, as passing/quality sides struggle more. The Bloomfield Rd quagmire is legendary, so lets forget all this passing nonsense and play 3 up front. Bang it long, early Wilko stylee, Morison would prosper, Sharp and Antenucci would pick up the scraps and we wont even have a laundry bill. Its this kind of reasoning that keeps me working in Bradford and not in football.
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Seems perfectly legit to me, Joe. Perhaps I should be worried!
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whats a matter you haigh gotta no respect!!
whats with the negative vibe man,
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There’s method in my madness…
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Who’s going in the sea if Morrison scores.
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If we’re talking miracles, you might see the whole of the away support walking ON the sea…
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One thing i worry about Rob is the pitch it looks like the place where the donkeys of Blackpool sands are kept during the winter season only to be let out on match days . So no bet on this one.
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Can’t fault you.
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I love to see Lee Clark speak after a game, he genuinely seems close to tears. Come on Leeds let’s make it the day when he breaks down and sobs uncontrollably!
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