Saint Don Goodman the Blinkered
After a couple of hundred times since last season watching the highlights of Sky’s Huddersfield Town versus Leeds United coverage, mainly to enjoy the Whites’ 3-0 victory over and over again, but also in the spirit of earnest research, this blogger is now able to reveal five hitherto unknown facts about co-commentator Don Goodman, who is also, incidentally, due to provide his pearls of non-wisdom for today’s United fixture at QPR.
- Don Goodman never made a cynical challenge in his life. We can clearly tell this from the contemptuous and disgusted tone of his voice in proclaiming the cynicism of Scott Wootton‘s challenge on Huddersfield’s Harry Bunn. Clearly, Mr. Goodman would never contemplate such a base action, preferring to stand aside politely applauding when beaten by an opponent.
- Similarly, Don Goodman has never ever complained about a bang to rights refereeing decision against him in the whole of his football career. This must be so, because he clearly stated “I really don’t know why players complain about receiving yellow cards when it’s that blatant.” Any other case would leave Goodman open to a charge of being a rank hypocrite.
- Goodman never, ever formed part of a group of players clustering around a referee in order to try and influence his decision. As he virtuously points out, “the referee doesn’t need that, he needs to decide for himself.” With such strongly-held convictions as these about the sanctity of match officials’ decision-making, it is blindingly obvious, save for the hypocrisy provision mentioned above, that Goodman could never have transgressed in such an unhelpful manner.
- The best way to shut Don Goodman up is undoubtedly for Leeds United to score a goal. From the time of Wootton’s unpunished second foul at Huddersfield, right up until Mirco Antenucci scored United’s opener, Goodman had been bemoaning the lack of a second yellow card and subsequent dismissal for United’s defender. When the ball hit the back of the net, though, Goodman lapsed into a stunned silence lasting a full 18.25 seconds, before glumly observing: “Football isn’t fair sometimes – life isn’t fair sometimes,” adding that “Huddersfield will feel absolutely fuming”.
- Don Goodman in the course of his playing career always, but always, took in good part any studs over the ball challenges against him, that he now tends to describe as bearing “no malice” – as well as any sly kicks to the back of the legs late in the game, which can, apparently, be put down to “frustration”. It would have been incongruous for him to have complained about such challenges on himself, given his airy dismissal of the fouls perpetrated on Leeds players by their Huddersfield opponents.
These five new and telling facts about Don Goodman might, perhaps, shed some light on what might otherwise be described as inconsistencies in his co-commentary performance. Whether anyone with Leeds United sympathies, or indeed anyone with a more general ability to distinguish the relative locations of arse and elbow, will be mollified by such revelations, has to be a moot point.
It may in fact be that Leeds fans as well as other people of intellect and discernment would tend to dismiss the “facts” enumerated above, in favour of a more general principle, as follows:
Don Goodman, from Leeds but never good enough to play for United, is an embittered has-been who is all too happy to accept BSkyB’s coin along with the privilege of jumping on their rabidly anti-Leeds United bandwagon.
On the whole, that really does seem rather more likely. And doubtless, we can expect more of Mr. Goodman’s unprofessional rubbish live and exclusive from Loftus Road in an hour or so.
Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything 
Be fair – it’s possible that he can’t help being bitter and twisted !!
LikeLike
Spot on Rob, I too watched the game on my return from Huddersfield Dogs Home also known as The John Smiths Stadium (for now) and decided to enjoy the second half with the sound turned down! Unfortunately Don’s drivel was then replaced by comments like ‘I thought you had watched that once and the washing up doesn’t do itself you know’. I should have celebrated down the pub!
LikeLike
My sky signal is currently being blocked by my inconsiderate arty farty neighbour’s scaffolding. At least I have been saved listening to these idiots cry about us actually winning a game.
LikeLike
It is a disgrace how anti Leeds these presenters and commentators are I watched the game on Australia on bein sport and come the half time report the devastation shown by mark Hately and Michael Gray that Leeds had got 2 before half time was shocking you need to try see this. Are they all being told to act like supporters of rival clubs I could not believe how anti Leeds it actually was.
LikeLike
That’s why Mr Goodman was a regular for England. A model footballer (I use the word ‘footballer’ very loosely) 😜
LikeLike
For a bang average player he didn’t half play well against us too!
LikeLike
Went to the game rob , “oh Leeds away” .
Had a fantastic day and it renewed my love of all things Leeds United .. mowatts goal will live long memory ,,
LikeLike
Mine too, Mr. O.
LikeLike
journey man with one account of honours to his name …. a play off with wait for it Walsall erh hmmm one word COCK …. As we know SKY are just biased to Leeds United ….. mmmm strange there COCKS get to see us a lot and are just willing us to lose
LikeLike
Well put, thanks
LikeLike
I’ve said all i have to say about this piss poor excuse for a football commentator empty vessel in an earlier blog by Rob.
LikeLike
6. He’s known amongst my WBA supporting friends as Dongo Odman!
LikeLike
And from now on, by me. Quality!
LikeLike
Excellent summary Sir….
LikeLike
You can’t say he is a has been, he’s a never has been, never was.
LikeLike
I read his comments this week rob , says Leeds have no chance of going up after selling cook and predicts a QPR win today….
Bring it on – we are Leeds
LikeLike
It’s all wishful thinking rather than professional punditry with this guy.
LikeLike
Can’t stand the man. His inability to call a game down the middle is so obvious it makes my blood boil. Why do we get this arse calling our matches when we could have David Prutton? At least Prutton injects a bit of humour and when he criticises us it’s generally justified. I’ll be listening to popey and whelan with sky on mute. MOT
LikeLike
Thank you Rob,same Creep I think who said we will Finish the Season below 8th…great if we can be among the top 6 to shut his mouth..I fancy it
LikeLike
Couldn’t agree more, remember when he scored against us for Bradford, the celebration said it all. I remember the thriller against Wolves (4-3) to wolves, every wolves goal was “Leeds have been deservedly punished for switching off” Every Leeds goal “Wolves will feel hard done by here”
LikeLike
If he slags us off after that he has every right, awful start
LikeLike
Rule One: Don Goodman has NO right.
LikeLike