EXCLUSIVE: Police Fears of Betting Fix Allayed by Spurs Result – by Rob Atkinson

Police alert!

Police alert!

Police in Manchester, as well as detectives in London’s Metropolitan Police, were all geared up for a full-scale investigation into a possible betting sting earlier today, Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything understands. Concerns were raised as news came in of some “incredibly unlikely” scores in the 4th Round FA Cup games around the country, as well as in certain league games.

The matches under the spotlight were Chelsea versus non-league Bratfud City, Manchester City at home to smog-bound Middlesbrough Ironopolis and the Southampton v Crystal Pulis game at the St Mary’s Stadium. All three encounters ended in highly unlikely away wins, and alarm bells were ringing. Asked whether nefarious activity by a Far East betting syndicate was suspected, a Police spokesman confirmed “That was very much the case. We were looking at a branch of BetFred in Scarborough.”

The police were on high alert towards the end of the afternoon fixtures. “We were looking for a pattern and starting to see one,” said DCI Ivor Truncheon of the Yard. “One more dodgy scoreline, and the boys and I were going to swoop.”

The game that might have tipped the balance from what could just have been an unlikely sequence of results, into a full-scale betting scandal, took place at White Hart Lane. “At one point, Tottenham Hotspuds were actually winning,” we were told. “Yes, things were getting that bizarre. But then Leicester got the digit out, imposed their superiority – and in the end, they won. Thankfully, that was enough to convince us that everything was legit. But if Spuds had actually won – along with all those other frankly ridiculous results – well, you can well imagine that we’d have had to take it all very seriously indeed.”

Asked whether the Watford v Blackpool game (where the away team led 2-0 at the interval, only to lose 7-2) came under any scrutiny, our police source was dismissive. “Nah, that’s just Blackpool being crap, isn’t it. We understand the FL might look at the slope at Vicarage Road, but that’s not a criminal matter.”

The FA Cup is 143.

17 responses to “EXCLUSIVE: Police Fears of Betting Fix Allayed by Spurs Result – by Rob Atkinson

  1. You’re getting desperate now… Yawn.


  2. Been a funny old day rob ,, the only thing that concerns me is that after the scums great escape last night this will be a much easier route to the final and possible season saver for them…


  3. RoystonLUFC

    And there was that other unlikely result midweek when we beat Bournemouth – that must have been a fix. I reckon their penalty taker must have been bunged up to his eyeballs. But let’s not bring this to the roving attention of DCI Ivor Truncheon cos, as punishment, he might decide to remove our president from the running of the club, unlikely as that may seem.


  4. Mad as a box of frogs very funny congrats on breaking the 1.5 mil MOT to 2mil


  5. The only reason I read this crap is that it comes up on the Spurs Media page on the official website. I sincerely wish it wouldn’t. Have you got Spurs envy Mr Atkinson?


    • Does it really?? That’s VERY encouraging, ‘Arry 😂 I suppose Spurs envy is like penis envy – only a lot smaller….


      • Unfortunatley the Spurs media page is not very discriminating. But Rob, you do seem to be taking a pop at Spurs quite a lot recently. Is it because Spurs supporters are said to be the most affluent in the country and this offends your leftie views? Is it because we are in the upper half of the Premier League, which is a distant memory for Leeds fans? I’m intrigued. Please tell.


      • Well you’re way off beam with your two guesses, which would imply envy – clearly ridiculous when you consider the number of times I’ve seen my club hailed as the best. The truth is that I don’t like Spurs because I have a great admiration for Arsenal, so it kind of goes with that territory. I suspect you knew that really, Harry, but chose to try to be a bit of a wag. Speaking of distant memories though – do you have any elderly relatives still living who can remember the Spuds as champions? Just wondering…


  6. Your turn to be way off beam, Rob. Why would I know that you are an admirer of Arsenal? Please don’t flatter yourself that I have read many of your articles in order to find that out.However, I’m now confused. Which is your club? Is it Leeds or Arsenal? I know a lot of Leeds fans who have switched allegiance to a better club in the past ten years or so. I don’t believe that teams should switch allegiance, but I guess in this case you can’t blame them.


  7. You’re right, of course, but it would be remiss of me not to return the good wishes. I hope Leeds achieve the aim of reaching mid-table respectability in the, er, Championship.


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