Leeds Traitor News: Creepy Kewell to be Crawley Manager? – by Rob Atkinson

stupid harrykewell-

Kewell wearing his creepy, Crawley expression

Harry Kewell is reported to be making a return to English football – as manager of League Two Crawley. He can expect little in the way of congratulations or good luck wishes from the fans of Leeds United, whose shirt he wore for years – and then disgraced by signing for Turkish horror club Galatasaray.

Kewell’s football track record since retiring as a player is not exactly sparkling. He was sacked from a stint as a Watford academy coach and now looks to make his mark as a boss at the fourth tier of the English game.

It’s a far cry from Champions League glory with Liverpool in 2005 (though he limped off in that game when Liverpool were trailing, only to reappear cavorting with the trophy after the Reds’ sensational comeback). This incident, with others, gave the Aussie a reputation of a player who would bottle it when the going got tough. It’s unclear whether this is the ethos Crawley Town expect Kewell, should he be appointed, to pass on to his new charges.

Leeds fans have long memories, and Kewell is possibly not looking forward with any great relish to the time when his path will cross, once again, with that of Leeds United and its fanatical followers. Having said that, if Crawley is to be his starting point, a reunion with the Whites might be many years away yet.

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Leeds Have the Advantage Over Top-Flight Swansea in Kyle Bartley Chase – by Rob Atkinson

Bartley

Bartley – happy at Elland Road

Swansea City boss Paul Clement might be talking a good fight and looking to play hardball over his loaned-out defender Kyle Bartley, who has made such an impression during his season-long stint at Leeds United. But, especially now that the Swans’ Premier League status is assured, football economics and a dash of common sense will tend towards a conclusion that, if Leeds want Bartley – and if Bartley wants Leeds – then the situation will pan out towards a satisfactory conclusion for both player and the Elland Road club.

The fact is, despite Clement’s neat line about “welcoming Bartley home”, a lot will depend on where the player himself sees his future. There is only one year left on Bartley’s Swans contract, and Leeds fans will be familiar with how that scenario usually ends, from bitter experience of seeing favourites leave Yorkshire a year early for a fee, or stick it out and walk for nothing. Whatever success the giant defender has enjoyed this Championship season, his potential as a Premier League defender is unclear. He’s likely to enjoy more game time at Leeds, and on that account, as well as his friendship with Luke Ayling, would perhaps prefer a move to Yorkshire rather than signing an extended deal for the Welsh club.

As for Leeds, they’ve seen a highly promising central defensive partnership develop between the mighty Bartley and Swedish colossus Pontus Jansson; they’re more likely to be looking at supplementing those positions by the acquisition of quality deputies, to provide the strength in depth lacking in the campaign just ended, rather than losing one pillar of a towering twin rearguard.

There’ll be more talking done, of course, both between the clubs and in the press so that the fans can see how serious and committed their managers are. But at the end of the day, money talks – and Swansea would be better off banking a fee for a player they could otherwise lose for nothing next May. Whatever claims and counter-claims fly back and forth, the only real work to be done is likely to be a bit of dickering over money.

If I were a betting man (and my bank manager is grateful that I’m not), my dosh would be on Bartley signing for Leeds permanently, or at least securing another loan, with an option to buy – perhaps in the January window.

It should be a busy summer, with a new sole owner, the maverick, amateur element of club ownership gone, and some backroom talent already recruited. But the retention of this season’s centre-back partnership will be seen as an important part of all that and I, for one, would be extremely surprised to see Kyle Bartley in a Swansea shirt when next season kicks off.

They Really Are ALL In It Together!

Turning the Tide

I like to see good friends getting on as much as the next person. The sight of heads huddled in a cafe over a shared confidence, or peals of laughter ringing out on a train from a pair of besties on their way out for the day, does my heart good. But when those two close friends are BBC Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis, and right wing Labour MP Jess Phillips, and their friendly chat is being broadcast to millions of people during a crucial General Election campaign, it doesn’t have quite the same heart warming effect.

But that’s what I bore witness to on Newsnight last night. Best friends, Jess and Emily went for a nice stroll in the more affluent part of Jess’s constituency so Jess could knock on a few doors and be seen for the hardworking, down to earth but laugh-a-minute MP she purports to be. Then…

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Charlie Taylor to Follow the Judas Kewell Path to Galatasaray? – by Rob Atkinson

Kewell

Don’t be a charlie like Harry, Charlie

Rumour has it that, having ungratefully bitten the hand that’s fed him for so long, left-back turned militant striker Charlie Taylor is now rubbing salt into freshly-opened wounds by considering overtures from Galatasaray – a club which makes our old friends and foes the Pride of Devon seem positively adorable.

The Istanbul club are rightly held in contempt and derision by Leeds United fans, for their attitude and actions at the time of the murders by their fans of Kevin Speight and Chris Loftus the night before a UEFA Cup semi-final in 2000. No respect was shown, the home side wore no black armbands, and the Galatasaray club sought cynically to manipulate the tragedy to their own advantage by demanding the return leg be played elsewhere than at Elland Road

When Harry Kewell joined the Turkish club some years later, it was literally hard for United fans to believe that a man who played for Leeds in that semi-final, and experienced the hatred of the savage and uncivilised Galatasaray fans, could ever consider wearing their colours. It was a sick, horrible nightmare, surely, rather than some bizarre reality. But Kewell really did make the move, with some weasel words about wanting to build bridges (nowt to do with money, of course) – and he’s been despised by Leeds fans ever since.

Now, Fotospora Turkish news source, have suggested that Taylor is a possibility for the Galatasaray squad next season, though they acknowledge that the hostility between the two clubs could be a stumbling block. But, as ever with these matters, it’d likely be down to the player himself if there is a genuine interest from Turkey.

Memo to Charlie Taylor: don’t be a silly boy. Get yourself to that Premier League subs bench you’ll be occupying next season and stay there, counting your money. There’s no need to court hatred having already earned contempt. Look at your history books and do the right thing.

One ex-Leeds player at that awful club was bad enough. Two making the same ridiculous and selfish decision would look a bit too much like taking the piss.

Jonny Howson Back to Leeds United, But NOT Jermaine Beckford – by Rob Atkinson

Leeds United v Bristol Rovers

Jermaine and Jonny during THAT Bristol Rovers game

A headline this morning screams that Leeds United should bring Jonny Howson and Jermaine Beckford, the two League One promotion goal heroes, back to Elland Road. As pre-transfer window speculative press advice goes, it’s nearer the mark than 90% of the rubbish out there – but it’s still only half right at best.

Judged on their merits, the two cases are miles apart. Howson is still the real deal, coming up to his 29th birthday, a mature goal-scoring midfielder who has performed creditably in the Premier League. He thrived at Leeds before the environment around LS11 turned toxic, at which time his best move was out. If he’s now available to bring back into the fold, it would be a very good option for a United midfield sorely in need of top-level experience and the kind of commitment that comes with a player who is also a fan.

Beckford, on the other hand, shows all the signs of having put the best of his playing career far behind him. I still believe that he should have given himself a chance of securing a second successive promotion with Leeds United, after helping get the club out of League One in 2010. Obviously, there were compelling financial reasons for his move to Everton, and he did make a mark of sorts at Goodison Park. But thereafter, it’s been a case of each successive move leading to a diminution of his reputation, and the signals have always been there that he left his heart and soul behind at Elland Road – he’s perhaps the opposition player best known for his ongoing rapport with our crowd, complete with Leeds salute. I can’t help thinking that he has his regrets, but realistically he’s not a viable option for a United squad on the way up (we hope). The rule of thumb here is, since he’s been released by Preston, there’s not too much – sadly – that he can now offer to Leeds United.

Many more names will be bandied about over the coming weeks, some of them formerly of this parish, and many more who might be new and exciting additions to the club. But if I could have one choice for a player to return, I wouldn’t look much further (with the honourable exception of Rob Snodgrass) than Jonny Howson, who I feel really could add that winning spark to next years United squad.

 

World Star Admits Strong Link to Leeds United (Not Maradona) – by Rob Atkinson

In a completely non-sensational non-revelation, world famous movie star Russell Crowe has admitted to being a Leeds United fan. 

Lately, there have been a rash of teaser headlines appearing on NewsNow, transparently calculated to grab readers’ attention before disappointing them with a right lemon of a non-story. I am sorry to have done this on what will be one solitary occasion; I do it only to highlight what I consider to be a deceptive practice, one which I find intensely annoying.

Any advertising revenues attributable to this article will be donated to the Alzheimers Society. I do not wish to profit by deception, unlike certain other online publications. Please click the link above if you also wish to support the good work of the Alzheimers Society.

And please – think carefully before clicking on headlines such as the one at the head of this piece. They’re just after your attention and they’ll get it any way they can.

Theresa May Isn’t Strong, She’s Cowardly, Evasive And Weak – And I’m A Tory!

A Tory sees a glimmer of light…

Peter Reynolds

As a member of the Conservative Party, I am horrified with the dishonest and manipulative way in which Theresa May is running her election campaign.

She was a terrible Home Secretary with an appalling record of failure in every policy area.  However, I accept that she was the inevitable choice for leader when both Boris and Michael Gove bottled out.  Also, as I’ve written before, we needed someone stubborn, obstinate, pig-headed, intransigent and incapable of listening to get Article 50 triggered in the face of the anti-democratic Remaniacs.  She did a good job of that but now we need a real leader, someone who can actually implement her empty words about a “country that works for everyone” – which Ms May neither really means nor is she even capable of achieving.

Her refusal to engage in any proper debate is pathetic and brings shame on the Conservative Party.  Her bluster, barking…

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Now Leeds United MUST Start Acting Like the Big Club They Are   –   by Rob Atkinson

Leeds Fans

Leeds fans expect…

Leeds United‘s season is over, many will feel prematurely. The chance that was there was untaken, the nettle ungrasped. United have sadly, in colloquial parlance, bottled it. 

The reasons for this will be gone into often and deeply enough over the next few weeks or so. The nature of the game, and of football pundits and supporters, demands a post mortem to follow such deep disappointment. Heads will be scratched, brows will be furrowed. Arguments will run hot and cold. So mote it be. This is the aftermath of failure, and it’s a necessary though painful ritual.

At the end of all the wailing and gnashing of teeth, though, the reasons for failure will be seen as stark and simple. Leeds seized defeat from the jaws of victory, plummeting from a handy position with a disastrous late run of poor displays and awful results. The seeds of failure were sown in January, when manager Garry Monk‘s prescription for consolidation of a play-off berth (with an outside chance of gate-crashing the automatic promotion party) was bizarrely rejected by men in suits who thought they knew better. What a bitter harvest we reaped from that insensate folly. 

It must not happen again. The manager must be listened to and heeded – if he’s going to have to accept that the buck ultimately stops with him, then he deserves the tools to do the job. Monk asked for reinforcements and was betrayed, there’s really no other word for it. That harsh lesson must be learned, because it’s going to be even harder to get out of this league next time around. 

Leeds United is a huge football club, a true institution of the game. Yet they have been taught the ABC of ‘Acting like a Big Club’ by comparative minnows in the shape of Reading, Huddersfield and Fulham. Even by the moderately sizeable Sheffield Wednesday. That’s nowhere near good enough, and it’s vital that Leeds should be the ones laying a marker down this summer. Anything else, and smaller but hungrier clubs will eclipse us again. 

I expect next season to be intense. Aston Villa will be strong, having laid solid foundations. It’s likely that we’ll face many Yorkshire derbies, depending on the outcome of the play-offs. Middlesbrough, bolstered by parachute payments and battle-hardened by recent Championship experience, will be thereabouts. Add in Sunderland, Derby, and all the teams for whom beating Leeds is where it’s at – and you can see that it’s impossible to understate just how strong and well-prepared we must be. It’s going to take every ounce of effort, character, guts and determination – and a significant financial outlay. 

This summer will decide Leeds United’s prospects for next season. It’s vital now that we step up, and win promotion soon. It would be a tragedy – nothing less – if this great club were to celebrate its centenary in two years time, below the elite level of English football. We simply have to stake our claim to enter a second century as one of the country’s select band of top clubs. 

It’s time now for Leeds United to think big again, to act once more like the big club they undeniably are. Time for Leeds to prove that they’re a big club. An almighty struggle awaits and we just have to be ready. 

Marching On Together, back to the top. It’s there for Leeds, if they want it badly enough. And that’s the big test now for everyone connected with Elland Road. Can we do it? Of course we can. But will we? Will we be bold, brave and brazenly assertive enough? Will we stump up the price of promotion and earn our golden ticket to the Promised Land?

That, fellow fans, is the £25 million (minimum net squad investment) question. 

Who Will Take a Punt on Leeds Disgrace Charlie Taylor Now? – by Rob Atkinson

Middlesbrough v Leeds United - Sky Bet Championship

Charlie Taylor – disgrace

The news from Wigan this afternoon, following United’s 1-1 draw to end an ultimately disappointing season, was that full-back Charlie Taylor refused to turn out for Leeds. This comes straight from the mouth of manager Garry Monk, via respected journo Adam Pope, so we can assume it’s reliable. And, if it is true, there can be little more disgraceful than the base treachery of a rich young man, content to pick up his lavish wage while arrogantly insisting that he’s not prepared to soil his hands with any actual work.

That old Billy Bremner motto “Side before self, every time” seems to be an outdated notion as far as many of today’s spoiled young football millionaires are concerned. If anything, they might reverse the saying and use it as a rallying cry for the selfish and materialistic end of their profession. It’s often said that thousands out there with the words Leeds United carved deep and painfully into their very hearts, would happily don that famous shirt for free, or even pay for the privilege – just to have one chance to tread the hallowed turf in United’s cause. And it’s doubtless true. But all of that is just so much sentimental hogwash to your average self-involved young “pro” of today.

If I sound angry, it’s because I am. The game I fell in love with is now spattered, like a car windscreen at a gull-infested seaside resort, with examples of arrogance and self-interest. King Billy must be spinning in his grave, because this daft Charlie is just the latest in a long line of young blots on the game. Taylor is doubtless advised and encouraged by an agent, who should also know better – because having what amounts to strike action on your CV at such an early stage of a promising career is hardly calculated to inspire confidence in future employers.

Still, Taylor will end up somewhere. West Brom, perhaps – we might even find ourselves passing him on the way down as we head up this time next year. Which would be satisfying karma at least.

Some players leave with a job well done and good wishes for the future. Again, there will be some who will wave farewell to Taylor with just such feelings, but they’re surely the minority and a misguided one at that. Taylor has let his manager down, his team-mates, the club and the thousands of fans who have applauded his every every moment in a Leeds United shirt. And, despite all of this, he will quite happily continue to pick up his ill-deserved money until the moment he slithers out of the Elland Road door. In hard times, that must leave a nasty taste in more mouths than just mine alone.

Like most Leeds fans, I’m hoping for better times ahead, without Cellino, without some surplus deadwood, and perhaps with some proper investment. The future might be bright – let’s hope so.

What I’m most afraid of, though, is that the game nowadays is so far gone as compared to the dear old pre-Sky times, that our future never can be as bright and enjoyable as our past. And the reason for that is to be found mainly in the attitude and selfish priorities of young ne’er-do-wells like Charlie Taylor.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Huddersfield to Add Fourth Star to Badge After Leeds Miracle   –   by Rob Atkinson


Huddersfield Town fans suddenly have more to look forward to than Championship play-off defeat. In the wake of what their educated fans – a select band of three genetic abnormalities from Slaithwaite – are referring to as the club’s annus mirabilis, the Terriers are to add a fourth star to the club badge, in recognition of Town’s greatest achievement of the last ninety years.

The three existing stars refer to a hat-trick of League Title triumphs in the 1920s, which had represented the high water mark of Town’s achievements up until this year – when they surpassed all previous attainments by actually managing to finish higher in the league than Leeds United, something that hadn’t happened for 56 years, before anyone outside of Beeston or Turin had actually heard of Leeds.

It had been thought that, should the Terriers ever actually climb the mountain and finally manage such a frankly unlikely feat, the club would disband for lack of any realistic targets beyond this, their Holy Grail. But it seems that, after all, the club will keep going – with play-off defeat practically certain to mean a renewal of their Elland Road-based obsession next season.

Terriers supporters chief, Mr. Cyril D. Ogbotherer, was emphatic in his praise of Town’s historic achievement: “It’s grand, just grand,” he declared, misty eyed and glossy of coat. “It’ll perk up this place like a dose of Bob Martins, this will. By! Finishin’ aboove Leeds! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, bah GOOM!!”

An open-top tram ride is planned, and Pathé Newsreels have agreed to add highlights of this campaign to their Magic Lantern special, commemorating Huddersfield’s champions of between the wars. The addition of the fourth star to the badge is proving slightly problematic, as supporters feel it should be a lot bigger than the other three, to reflect the relative scale of the achievement. The issue is to be decided either by a show of paws, the loudest bark – or by using a special “Wag-o-Meter”, at the next full board meeting.

Herr David Wagner, 46, ist einer schrecklicher Kartoffelkopf.