Former Leeds Hero Kisnorbo Showing Ominous Signs of Heat Stroke – by Rob Atkinson


Paddy showing early signs of brain fatigue

Paddy showing early signs of brain fatigue

For the second time in a few days, this blog finds itself having to speculate on matters medical. Just recently, I was expressing concerns over Giuseppe Bellusci’s endangered coccyx as a result of his habit of making vertical landings on his tailbone after scoring for Leeds. Now, there is worrying evidence that former skipper Paddy Kisnorbo, currently plying his trade in the sun-drenched environment of his native Australia, may be suffering the effects of chronic heat exhaustion, a condition that can cause confusion, among other undesirable symptoms.

The root cause of this concern can be traced to Kissa’s bizarre recent statement that Ken Bates’ stewardship at the club was A Good Thing for all concerned and that, should the Evil Papa Smurf return to his former role as club despot, many would actually welcome him back. So ridiculous are these opinions – really, Paddy would have made more sense had he sat on a pork pie for a week saying “wibble” – that many are very worried about his state of mind, speculating that the intense heat in Melbourne may have actually melted his brain. Paddy’s cranium and its contents have been a cause for concern in the past, as witness a spectacular head injury whilst at Leeds and his long term use of a bonce bandage thereafter.

Kisnorbo was a genuine hero at Leeds, with the image of the bloodied warrior at the forefront of his fearsome reputation, endearing him to Leeds fans who famously appreciate those willing to shed blood for the cause. Only now is it becoming apparent that the damage may have been more serious than first thought. The long-term effects of a significant concussion, allied to later exposure to heat over a long period of time, can give rise to confusion as previously stated – and even to hallucinations; seeing or hearing things that aren’t true. This is the only feasible explanation for Paddy’s apparent conviction that Bates was anything other than a malign influence at Leeds and somebody who would be chased away by an angry mob, should he ever again darken the doorstep of Elland Road.

Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything wishes Paddy Kisnorbo a full recovery from what seems to be his currently troubled state of health – and we hope and trust that he will be seeing things more clearly again in the very near future.  

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17 responses to “Former Leeds Hero Kisnorbo Showing Ominous Signs of Heat Stroke – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Is knobor (anag.) ’nuff said!

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  2. Yours isn’t necessarily a fanciful explanation, Rob, though there are (at least) two equally worrying possibilities: a) this is a serious piece of mis-reporting or b) Kisnorbo has only seen the negative garbage pedalled by our gutter press and has swallowed every piece of anti-Leeds bile. Both would reflect badly upon the press, though that would come as no real surprise to Leeds supporters who would have had to read (or ignore) an almost daily concoction of exaggerated half-truths and lies. Sadly, our local YEP is a major offender!
    As I started writing this I did briefly wonder if this was the start of a Machiavellian plot by the odious Bates, timed to come to a climax when (in the master plan) Cellino has to sell the club. This couldn’t be true – could it?

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    • God knows mate. Machiavellian is our club down to the ground.

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      • I’m with Oldie. A waste of time and ink. People don’t always read things the way an author hopes they are written I’m afraid Rob. Part of being a writer I guess! Still good to have you back fella. It’s been a while since you appeared on my newsnow feed…you an hf vanished at roughly the same time come to think of it! What have you boys been up to? Lets leave Uncle Ken in the past and remember what the O stands for in MOT

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      • I’ve always been aware that, if you write with the upper percentiles of the IQ range in mind, those lower down may not appreciate the material. Them’s the breaks, I guess 🙂

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  3. leeds oldie

    Oh! mr atkinson what a fool you are sometimes, why would you or anybody for that matter waste ink, time and anything which requires thought put to paper or this site which gives any publicity to the one man who who single handed nearly put 2 clubs out of existance .

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  4. If you think Paddy is delusional you should read the drivel that David Conn of the Guardian wrote about Cellino / Leeds today. Massimo may be eccentric but there is little doubt he is not a “foreign profiteer” as the “Conn” suggests. Does anyone know why this jerk seems to have a personal vendetta against Leeds? As usual great reporting Rob

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  5. Totally agree Rob. Paddy, shush!

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  6. Paddy is the new captain of Melbourne City. I am pleased to report that he recovered much of his fitness and was very good last season.
    I must also mention that the weather lately has been pretty ordinary here in Melbourne, so if anything the effects of the sun on Paddy are set to sky-rocket as we head deeper into our Spring over here.
    I too read with some alarm, young Patrick’s insane ramblings about Ken treating the club like his own family. One can only imagine the suffering the Bates brood must have endured.
    By Christmas and beyond into our bushfire season, we can look forward to increasingly bizarre quotes from The Bandaged One as his what’s left of his brain is fried to a crisp.

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  7. Can’t help but notice that Watford are on to their 3rd or 4th manager this season. I’ve scoured the Internet for for articles by crusading writers like ‘the Conn man’ berating their ‘evil & unfit’ owners, but can’t find any. Funny that.
    Or the owners of Birmingham, Blackpool or Bolton either..

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  8. Very funny blog Rob, keep up the good work

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  9. belfastpete

    what the hell is wrong with you Paddy geezzzz….

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