Leeds United’s Deadline Day Advice to Their Fans   –   by Rob Atkinson

Following on from last year’s ill-conceived advice not to go to bed yet, Leeds United are making it clear nice and early that it’s OK for sleepy fans to head up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, as absolutely nothing of note is likely to happen at Elland Road in terms of slumber-depriving incoming transfer activity. Our source at Leeds has confirmed that “Is too late to do anything, not even in your dreams, my friend”.

Leeds fans are advised to:

  • Make a nice cup of cocoa
  • Turn Sky’s Deadline Day programme OFF
  • Put some nice clean ‘jamas on
  • Book tickets for the next home game
  • Save up for your pie tax
  • Stay off Twitter
  • Go to bed
  • Sweet dreams of the Emergency Loan window

A party to be held at the Elland Road banqueting suite from 11pm until the wee small hours is billed as the “We Got Away With It AGAIN, You Mugs” Party 2016. Ordinary fans are not invited, as they’ll all be fast asleep.

Massimo Cellino is a liar and a humbug.

14 responses to “Leeds United’s Deadline Day Advice to Their Fans   –   by Rob Atkinson

  1. It is hard to see what we have to gain now by spending much money; we have no chance of the play offs. Moreover there is further value to be extracted from our present squad. I want to se how good the present line-up can be before going into,the market.


    • Other than a head start for next season…???…….sides that don’t grow STAGNATE, we need to be improving all the time or MOMENTUM stops, players like Cook start to think their futures lay elsewhere………. Fans think their futures lay else where, merchandise sales slump, the great hulking super tanker that is leeds united comes to a grinding halt……….. other clubs players see Leeds as unattractive etc etc




  3. Philip of Spain.

    We,re not popular anymore.Wendsday seem more attractive it seems.


  4. Karl Major

    We all know he’s a liar, that’s why I’ll be worrying about our remaining talented youngsters until the window shuts.


  5. Jordan siswick

    To be fair cellino said last week it was unlikely we would sign anybody. We may have took this as a lie because he lies so much but looks like he wasn’t this time


  6. Tim Campbell

    No Cornettos for Massimo I’m afraid Rob – next he’ll be replacing the pies with pizza and spag ball just the way mama used to do!! 😰


  7. Wednesday have spent a lot of money and are prepared today higher wages.
    That is why we lose out with so many players.
    The Premier League have their rich clubs and the others.
    The Championship are the same now.
    Final day an nothing happening for us.
    It is easy to say we should wait until the Summer, but that is just a con’ that we fall for every year.
    Our Summer dealings are pathetic as well!!
    I’m off to bed!!


  8. Bumper mcann

    What lies has he told, genuine question as I must be missing something, he did say it was unlikely we’d sign anyone and we haven’t so far so that statements bang on?


  9. Fongoul! I make offers for testa di cazzo players and they think they are too big for Leeds! Cazzo! Well they can a funabla!
    Ma’ vate ne a fanculo Leeds fans, universe and everything!
    A Comes Millions


  10. Sniffers shorts

    United or oblivion what is better Rob football without LUFC is bollax why buy anymore shit this season lets buy quality Wednesday are going for playoffs Bristol city survival … I’ll hedge my bets one more close season before I really condem Il Duce he has next close season to redeem or sell up


  11. Scally Lad

    No new signings is sad, but moreso because in the Prem, Newcastle, Sunderland, and Aston Villa are for the drop in May and will be joining the Championship next season. They will bring big parachute payments with them which is going to make them all the more advantaged over us. If we don’t get some quality on the pitch soon , we may be lurking closer to relegation next year than we presently are.


  12. Cellino was foolish to promise to buy back Elland Road before he’d discovered the full horrors of GFH profligacy and the legacy of Mr Bates. But he was only lying if he knew he had no intention of doing so when he made the promise. He was foolish, in any event: repurchasing our ground should not be the top of anyone’s priorities.


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