Tag Archives: clueless

Leeds Utd’s Clueless Keyboard Army Don’t Know the Meaning of the Word “Support” – by Rob Atkinson

shame-on-you

You know who you are…

When Caleb Ekuban was denied an equaliser by a fine save from the Fulham ‘keeper, who then saw his side sweep downfield to seal the match 2-0, I held my head in my hands. Not just through frustration or the pain of defeat – but because I knew there would be an immediate explosion of clueless criticism from Leeds United‘s dismal army of Twitter followers, people who seem to be perpetually ready willing and all too able to pounce on any mistake or missed chance, desperately eager to unleash their own brand of unhelpful negativity. And so it came to pass, as the LUFC hashtag was swiftly beset with a barrage of destructive tweets, from football fandom’s very own versions of Leonard Cohen and the Smiths, each of them vying to see who could be the most soul-destroyingly defeatist and treacherous.

I sometimes wonder what these people get out of it. It can’t just be the lols, likes and retweets garnered from those of a similarly pathetic outlook, can it? Perhaps they just want to provoke a reaction, in which case I’m playing into their hands. So be it, then. Certain things need pointing out, after all. One of these is the damage being done to the reputation of the Leeds United support, which has always been famous, or at least notorious, for the raucously partisan nature of its expressed fanaticism. In this digital age, though, the support base of any club will be divided – on a match day at least – into those who go along to support the lads, and those who sit at home, ensconced behind their keyboards, safely anonymous, many of them just waiting to inflict what passes for their wit and wisdom upon the rest of us, whenever things on the field start going wrong. This sort of thing is noticed in various quarters. Fans of other clubs are saying, this famous Leeds United support is nothing special, look at all those idiots on Twitter. And, tragically, they’re bang on the money.

Take the Fulham game. Ekuban was denied by a good save when he was one on one. This is a lad who has had an injury-affected season, and he’s a lad from whom you can see desire and the wish to succeed coming out of every pore. Now, this lad has been working his nuts off every chance he gets, yet feeling the pressure growing for some time. He scored last weekend, and you thought “watch him go now”. But all the talk was of another couple of chances, one on one again, which he sadly didn’t take. And so, instead of the pressure being dissipated, or even relieved a little, it continues to grow. And, lo and behold, the poor lad misses another one on one, the ball goes down the other end, and it’s in our net. How does he feel? And how will he feel if he sees the myriad tweets in response to this unfortunate event, from the army of utterly clueless and unsupportive Leeds “fans” on Twitter? Most of them don’t know one end of a football from another, and yet they’re there in their hundreds, criticising a pro’s technique. It’s ludicrous. Make no mistake, this is not support – it’s death by a thousand tweets, and it’s shameful in the extreme.

And look at Jay Roy Grot. He misses an easy header – and straight away, you get “My grandma would have put that away and she’s been dead twenty years, haw haw haw”. Well done, you Twitter morons, how very original and helpful, I must say. Think of what goes through Grot’s mind as he goes to finish the chance. Half a second is a long time – and when you’ve had a destructive Twitter campaign shooting great ragged holes through your confidence all season, it must seem like an eternity. So maybe there’s a bit of tension in the nerves and muscles as Grot attacks a ball he’d put away 99 times out of a hundred. And the ball goes narrowly over instead of in. Grot’s bang to rights, he’s missed a sitter – but those negative, clueless, lazy and destructive Leeds “fans” are just as culpable.

It’s so annoying, and it’ll likely get worse, with predictably negative results on the team’s morale, and on the confidence of those players not exactly brimming with that valuable commodity in the first place. And it’s particularly nauseating, because you absolutely know that those doling out out the abuse, just to satisfy their own delusions of expertise and knowledge of the game, will change their tune extremely quickly, once the targets of their amateur criticism find some form and start producing. It’s happened so often before, from Ray Hankin, when at least there was no Twitter, through to Jermaine Beckford. As sickening as the stupidity of these people might be, their rank hypocrisy is even more stomach-churning.

Like the thousands of Leeds fans who don’t indulge in this narcissistic “look at me” barrage of bandwagon-jumping criticism, I can see the potential, particularly in Caleb Ekuban. And, far more importantly, so can the football professionals. You’ve got to get in the positions to miss the chances, and that’s the hard part, so the old pros will murmur. Give it time, the lad will come good. I believe they’re right – they were about Beckford, who did so well he now has a stand named after him at Manchester United.

If I were in a position of authority at Elland Road, and not being able to ban these idiots from Twitter, I’d ban my playing staff from having Twitter accounts and from accessing the LUFC hashtag. I’d be that worried about the negative impact of all the criticism, stupid and ill-informed though it undoubtedly is. These so-called Leeds fans are doing the opposition’s job for them, which is treachery in anyone’s book. There’s enough pressure on any young player, just making their way in the game, simply from playing for Leeds United – without a crew of hapless amateurs chelping away in the ether. It doesn’t help, it’s positively harmful. If I were involved in player welfare, I’d look to shield them from that.

It’s pointless highlighting this, of course, except insofar as it gets it all off my chest. The guilty parties will be only too glad of whatever attention their idiocy gains for them; that’s part of the condition that afflicts them. And, even if they all shut up at once, I’d have the likes of Donald Trump and Alan Sugar polluting the virtual environment with their own brand of stupidity. Just at the moment though, I’d take those two morons over the army of dickheads out there infesting the LUFC hashtag. At least they’re not directly harming the football club I’ve loved for almost 50 years.

Rant over. For now.

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By Goom, Sum Leeds Fans are Proper ‘Ard to Please, Sithee!! – by Rob Atkinson

What's the point of winning 16-0??

What’s the point of winning 16-0?? Waaaahhh!!

On July 10th in Italy, Leeds United stepped up their pre-season preparations by moving on to an actual game against opposition from outside the club – as opposed to doing the hard yards in training and playing practice matches within the squad.  It’s a natural progression – it makes sense to start with a gentle work-out against a team that, perhaps, won’t provide the stiffest test. The game went well, two distinct United teams getting a 45-minute run-out apiece – and Leeds won by the unlikely score of 16-0, beating their previous best pre-season success by one.  The players seemed to fight shy of scoring that 17th goal which might have caused the superstitious side of the owner’s nature to twitch spasmodically. It’s best to keep on the right side of Big Mass, my friend. But you have to say that this type of game is a worthwhile exercise at this stage of pre-season. As a means of getting into a match situation and preparing for sterner opposition later on, it’s ideal. Isn’t it?

Well, you wouldn’t think so, from some of the social media reaction. To read some of the comments from certain alleged Leeds fans, you’d think that Leeds United had broken into their homes and beaten up their apple-cheeked, silver-haired old Grandma, rather than comfortably winning a football match. There was an air of offended outrage very much in evidence.  Some people, it would seem, feel distinctly happier when we’re losing – as, for instance we did at Harrogate Town last pre-season, or famously at Histon in the FA Cup a few years back.  A 16-0 defeat would presumably have had these characters smiling happily – but a victory by that score opened up the floodgates for a tide of whinging and bitching from the kind of fans who would, quite frankly, feel more at home over the wrong side o’ t’hills, at the Theatre of Hollow Myths.

So what is it about certain Leeds United fans, that makes them react in this unhelpful and frankly irritating way? Is it a need to affect a certain world-weary, windswept and interesting, ostentatiously cynical attitude, in the hope that people will think they’re more complex and profound than they actually are? Do they perhaps feel compelled to act in a certain way in order to impress others? Certainly this type of reaction is typical of the sort of person, generally young, a bit stupid and desperate for attention, who feels the need to inflict their callow opinions on Facebook, Twitter et al. Some of the dafter Leeds United internet boards are likewise infested with these yappy types, falling over themselves to outdo the previous poster for “wit” or what they might see as a “cool” determination to approve of nothing, to criticise and carp on about everything. The abysmal WACCOE and the absurd Service Crew Forum are good examples of the type of “Go on, try to impress me” churl of a supporter, who hasn’t the first idea of what support actually means. It’s always a sad day for this type when there is some undeniably good news. After all, it’s so uncool to be happy and positive – isn’t it?

Sod off and listen to the Smiths, or Leonard Cohen – or go and support the Pride of Devon, why don’t you. At least those of us who are open to the possibility of a new era at Leeds United would be spared your formulaic whinging and clueless rants.  And, next time Leeds United manage to win a game 16-0, could we perhaps expect a bit more in the way of originality from you?  You know – a little less of the “Oh, were we playing the blind school??  Haw, haw, haw”.  At times like this, Twitter seems to be exclusively about daft little prats recycling weak humour with a genuine belief that they’ll somehow get some credit for it.

I blame the parents.  No, on reflection, I don’t – not entirely.  I really blame the proliferation of social media, providing as it does an easy option, for dumb, idle, yap-mouthed kids with too much time on their hands, to create a sort of wall of white noise, preventing the rest of us from being able to have anything like a meaningful conversation or productive discussion. Yes, that’s what I blame. AND the bloody parents.

Roll on the next game and, with all due respect to Big Mass and his weird beliefs, I hope we win this one 17-0.  We won’t, of course – because we’ll be playing a much better team, one that doesn’t need to borrow our goalie near the end just to keep the score down. But I do hope we keep the hammer down and win well.  Because there’s nothing that upsets the kind of Leeds fan I’m railing against, more than a good, solid Leeds United win. The sort of win that used to be the whole point of being a fan – remember that?