Gotcha!! Football League Torpedo Enemy Ship “General Massimo” – by Rob Atkinson

The sinking of the "Massimo" - as reported by "The Scum"

The sinking of the “Massimo” – as reported by “The Scum”

In a terse communique issued at 0001 hours Saturday 31 January 2015, the Football League spokesman Herr M. Thatcher confirmed that the enemy Italian vessel known as the General Massimo has been torpedoed, with eye-witness reports saying that the stricken ship has sunk without trace.

This military attack was ordered at the highest level, Obergruppenführer Harvey himself having authorised the strike personally. It has been confirmed by the Football League High Command that the Massimo was seen and photographed well inside a pre-defined 200 mile exclusion zone drawn around the Leeds United team. Claims that the Massimo was in fact steaming away from the team at the time the torpedo was launched have been dismissed as frivolous. Herr Thatcher insisted: “In our opinion, the Massimo still presented a clear and present danger of positive motivation to the Leeds team – we had no choice other than to strike hard and decisively in order to obviate this deep peril.”

Sadly, the League have also confirmed that a more covert operation, whereby a special agent was infiltrated into the Huddersfield v Leeds game in the guise of a referee, has failed to bear fruit. The despicable Leeds side tragically struck in the 90th minute to score what turned out to be the winner – despite Agent Foy adding on 55 minutes of overtime.

To add insult to injury, it is now being reported that the Commander of the General Massimo, one Captain Cellino, has escaped the wreck and was last seen heading for safety aboard the lost ship’s principal life-yacht, the Nélie.

More on the Huddersfield v Leeds game will follow later.


8 responses to “Gotcha!! Football League Torpedo Enemy Ship “General Massimo” – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Chuckling all the way home, ee aye ee aye ee aye oh, up the football league we go.
    Can’t wait for my next trip north, hopefully to dump the WALLIES further into the mire.Nice one ROB.
    Come on LEEDS.


  2. Ve vill re build ze Massimo by April and come back stronger and blow up ze corrupt Fooootball league, and ven zey strike again ve vill re build stronger and come again because ve are Leeds, ve are Leeds, ve are Leeds


  3. Rob just had a tiff with a scummer is Massimo banned from attending Leeds games home and away,scummer says yes.


  4. sniffershorts

    is Gary Lineker fit and proper to front a football programme. good god back to back wins yipeee


  5. He thinks that all the crap written by the press about Massimo is true iv tried to educate him ,but as you know you cant educate fools +iv had a bet with him over this. anyway 3pts today YEEEHAAA.


  6. joe wicklow

    brilliant as ever rob three points and reading what a day thanks rob


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