Leeds Owner Cellino Says Reports He’s Crooked Are a Non-Story – by Rob Atkinson


Massimo Cellino – as straight as a corkscrew?

In a terse statement after it was put to Mr. Cellino that sources are claiming he’s about as straight as a sidewinder’s backbone, the maverick Italian confirmed: “This is a complete non-story. There is nothing of any interest here whatsoever. It should be ignored, and people should be looking for real news. This paper, it says I am not an honest man, it says I lie, I cheat, I break the rules. All of this is common knowledge, my friend. Is a complete non-story, move on!”

Meanwhile, members of the online group In Massimo We Trust (motto “Gullibility We Goddit”) are being contacted by countless Nigerian businessmen offering to make them rich if they will just divulge their bank details. Asked why the group retains any faith at all in Mr. Cellino, their spokesman would only say “You shunt of asked me that”, before issuing tearful threats and then blustering a bit before going home crying.

Massimo Cellino’s official honesty rating is a worryingly low 17% – despite a recent on-field purple patch for his club Leeds United.


8 responses to “Leeds Owner Cellino Says Reports He’s Crooked Are a Non-Story – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Now you can,sort of, see why Massimo wanted to go over Garry Monk’s head to recruit Tommy Wright… Or should ‘go over his head’ read: ‘go under the table’!


  2. Yep, non story as far a Leeds go, i agree wid Massino, he aint perfect, who is.broke no rules that i see. Fa knew loopholes, no diff than avin good accountant . Or is there a snorting ring going on, money laundering ? Prob not . Loada a shite from a bullshit paper mainly .


  3. But he must be an honest man, he passed the fit and proper test. DIdn’t he???? Eh???


  4. Yep, non story so far as concerns third party stuff, but his comments on the morals of football in this country should be heeded. I liked the bit about our unsmiling villainy.


  5. So we’re to except that Maximus broke no rules in the video footage, but what concerns me is his “attitude” on how to make money out of a football club, I.e. “transfers”, and this has been proven over his short tenure here!


    • My impression is that there was a fair bit of acting taking place with MC showing off how ‘savvy’ he is – although it’s not clear to me how a club would be bound by such an investment. As for the view that MC’s is to make money out of the club, the only way he could do that is to go hell for leather to get us into the PL and then sell on. His actions though speak rather of a man who, bluster and exhibitionism notwithstanding, rather enjoys running a business on prudent lines. His sales and purchases seem to support such a view. He also plainly loves the game on which he is, by all accounts, knowledgeable. Summing up I’d say he is not trying to screw us – he might even be trying not let others screw or mismanage us business-wise.


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