Sun ‘Newspaper’ Confirms New Manager Contract By Reporting Leeds Have Sacked Monk – by Rob Atkinson


The Scum

Leeds United fans can rest assured that a new contract is on the table for manager Garry Monk, with notorious lie-sheet The Scum reporting that the Whites boss is on the point of dismissal.

Wapping’s most odious piece of bogroll, a publication so mendacious that it has people checking their calendars if it reports on Friday that tomorrow will be Saturday, launched into an orgy of wishful thinking after Leeds’ home draw with with Norwich ended their play-off aspirations. Those familiar with The Scum‘s record for inaccuracy and fabrication will see this as a cast-iron indication that Monk’s future is at Elland Road.

Recent achievements at the notorious Murdoch rag have included the comparison of Everton’s Ross Barkley to a gorilla, and the assertion that the only other people on Merseyside earning Barkley’s level of remuneration are drug barons. This piece of “journalism” saw well-known moron Kelvin MacKenzie suspended pending an investigation, and also the complete disappearance of The Scum as a Merseyside football resource, with Everton applying the blanket ban that Liverpool FC instituted some decades ago, following the disgraceful Hillsborough reportage. It is now thought that Tranmere Rovers FC benefits from an army of Scum correspondents 37 strong.

Current Leeds United co-owner Massimo Cellino commented “You know I’mma dodgy character, my friend, and even I don’ read that sheet”.

Rupert Murdoch is 142.

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23 responses to “Sun ‘Newspaper’ Confirms New Manager Contract By Reporting Leeds Have Sacked Monk – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Prefer the scum to the mirror now they truly do hate Leeds.

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  2. Nobody has mentioned on Newsnow that Cellino is going!!
    I hope that means he really is going!!!
    I have not read a newspaper for 30 years!!

    MOT!!!

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  3. I’ve just run out according to the empty nail on’t wall in’t netty. Getting harder to steal them from bins these days, might have to switch to the Daily Fail 😈

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reality Cheque

    Does the sun ever actually put in an appearance on t’other side of the Pennines Rob?

    Personally, I hope that Garry’s future at Leeds United is clarified as soon as possible as well as the stand out players who are on loan.

    I am slightly worried that Massimo made it a condition of Garry’s “contract” that we qualified for the play offs before he offered refunds to ST holders in the event that Garry failed to deliver. Massimo knew that his own departure was imminent and his massive ego would not allow him to take any blame for not achieving a place in the top six.

    However, I do take hope in the fact that Radrizzani appears to have been the person exerting most of the control for the majority of this season which is why our current “professional” status is unrecognisable from the circus that has been in town for the previous two seasons.

    Hopefully, AR will buy out MC and provide stability by keeping Garry and build on the foundations set in place this season by providing adequate funds to significantly strengthen and freshen up our impressive “young developing group”

    Our camp is far more UNITED with the fans since Garry’s arrival. Lets keep it that way please Mr Radrizzani

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    • Any contractual requirement for Monk to deliver the play-offs was surely frustrated by the club’s utter failure to back him in the January transfer window.

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  5. Never let an opportunity to slate The Sun go by, but I can’t help thinking there may be some truth in this.

    After all this is Leeds United and the past 15 years, you couldn’t make it up.

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  6. Happily as their readership gradually learn how to use keyboards and take online news,their sales fall by the year. I wouldn’t complain if Monk left though. He brought in players in January who just weren’t up to it and kept making the same mistakes with formations and selections. It shows just how far we’ve sunk if some of our number are happy with 7th place.

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    • What do you WANT! We have been facing relegation for years and just managing to avoid it. This season has been great and at long last some hope for the future. If our owners can back Monk with money, we can really look forward to next season

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  7. Newspapers are so yesterday, but even back in the 1980’s, I would always believe what I read on the back page of the Evening Post, well before anything that was written about Leeds in The Scum newspaper.
    If Leeds tightwad owners, were to foolishly sack Garry Monk, then they would wait until after the Wigan game, because the Leeds fans will make their feelings heard at the Wigan game, if Monk is sacked in the coming days.
    A total lack of ambition by the clueless Leeds owners, is the reason why Leeds are not in the play-offs and it’s nobody elses fault.

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  8. If this is true your gonna look an idiot.

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  9. I hate to keep having a dig at Leeds Mick, but you really take the biscuit mate. So now we are failures at 7th place. Come on pal, did you really believe last August we would make the playoffs with a bunch of cast offs? You bitch and moan at everything and everybody who tries to make a purse out of a sows ear, why don’t you have a legitimate swipe at the real culprits, ie Cellino, Radrizzani etc, because I tell you mate that if Monk had been given the backing and the resources during the transfer windows we could have done it.
    If Monk goes, then I for one will scrutinise every word you utter and let’s just see how clever you really are. We were never good enough, we were under strength, that’s it.

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    • I am forever slagging off Cellino,but radrizzanis role in not finishing top six has yet to be established. Having been in the top six for so long then for us to limp out meekly is a failure in anyone’s books. Aren’t you disappointed that we play like the away team at home,two holding and one up front? And i do expect that we’ll be challenging at the start of every season. Monk brought in or agreed to 3 players who have contributed very little if that. Demand better and demand more.

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  10. Rob,
    It should be beneath anyone with anything better then the intellectual capacity of a chimp to even pick this toilet paper up. Let alone contemplate the accuracy of any of the shameful drivel enclosed within.

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  11. I would not contaminate my arse by wiping it with The Sun. At least “The Sport” was honest, insofar as it freely admitted its stories were fabricated.

    Like

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