Leeds’ Bielsa to be Coach of the Year, But Derby’s Lampard Favourite for Whinger Award – by Rob Atkinson

Fwankie – look at his poor little FACE!!

Whatever might be said about the relative coaching merits of Frank Lampard and Marcelo Bielsa – and it hardly needs pointing out here that the rookie has been utterly owned by the Master twice this season – there do appear to be serious doubts about young Frank’s mental durability, for want of a more appropriate phrase, given his incessant and piteous whinging over what they’re glibly calling “Spygate”.

Sadly for Frank, many of the game’s more respected voices have been united in scorn at the bleating that has emanated from the Rams’ pen over the past few days. As a general rule, those with global reputations have dismissed Lampard’s complaints as ridiculous, while poor Frankie has had to make do with lesser authorities, woman-beater Stan Collymore for instance, in his corner.

There’s also the problem for an increasingly sullen and sulky Lampard that evidence is piling up to the effect that what Sky have attempted to portray as an earth-shattering scoop has actually happened with great regularity down the years. Two of these historical incidences of espionage and skullduggery involve Chelsea at a time when Lampard was a player there – the most bizarre case involving Jose Mourinho allegedly circumventing a stadium ban by means of concealment within a laundry hamper.

More relevant to Spygate is the admission of Andre Villas-Boas that he was regularly sent by Mourinho to opposition training grounds, often incognito, to suss out team news and tactics for the benefit of Jose’s match preparation. Get that, sent incognito to gather information – what more comprehensive description of spying could there possibly be? But Frank appears to be saying that his former coach Villas-Boas is a big fat liar; “I didn’t know about this and, anyway, it didn’t happen” seems to be the Lampard position.

It’s all most unseemly, and all Lampard appears to be gaining with his protracted whinging is a well-deserved reputation as a petulant ninny. And that’s hardly the kind of image you expect of the manager of a club in the muck and bullets Championship, even if it’s only Derby. But Frank seems intent on stamping his feet and complaining until somebody does something – and with the alleged offenders being perennial establishment targets Leeds United, I suppose that can’t be ruled out. But, in this blogger’s humble if not exactly disinterested opinion, all Lampard is achieving thus far is to cast himself as a petulant and childish fool.

This Championship season to date has been all about Bielsa; with a minimum of recruitment, he has transformed last year’s anonymous also-rans into stylish table toppers – as well as implementing a football ethos throughout the club that has seen both the Under 23s and Under 18s topping their respective leagues as well. If this carries on, it’ll be Marcelo first and the rest nowhere when it comes to Coach of the Year.

And Lampard? Well, we can probably close that book right now. With his desperately pitiful demeanour in defeat, and his sullen insistence on ridiculous excuses straight from the embroidered spy story pages of Girls’ Own, “Lamps” has no real rivals for the title of Whinger of the Season. So smile, Frankie lad – this is one trophy you’ll win easily, even at serial also-rans Derby County.

20 responses to “Leeds’ Bielsa to be Coach of the Year, But Derby’s Lampard Favourite for Whinger Award – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Johnny Bangkok

    Poor wittle Fwankie…I suggest he keeps dummy tit firmly shoved in gob for the next few weeks


  2. Life is LUFC

    If his mam has any sense she’ll kick his backside and send him to bed wi-now’t t’eat.
    How about we all design a trophy, winner of the best design gets to present it to him. What a treat that would be for both parties 🙂


  3. Dave Lobban

    Are you sure its not Christine Bleakley in disguise? He looks ugly enough.
    My wife and I live in Northamptonshire and wish to volunteer as unpaid spies for Leeds for the Midlands region.


  4. Reality Cheque

    Spot on Rob. Do you reckon that cry baby Lamps is the only coach who wears a bib on the training ground, and his only dribble nowadays is sloppy rusk onto his bib?

    I bet Southampton haven’t felt the need to spy on their preparations this week but have installed a ” teddy bear play area” in the Away changing room just in case little Lamps feels victimised during tonight’s replay.

    Hopefully our club can focus on a true little soldier who never refused to fight against such cruel odds and pay tribute to young Toby at our next sell out home game against Norwich. If anything puts Spygate into true perspective it is what this little fella had to endure in such a short life. Thoughts and prayers to all his family and friends at this time. ALAW


  5. “…..even if it’s only Derby.”. Says it all.


  6. howard mackey

    You know what they say Rob,”Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt ”
    Regards H.


  7. I don’t want to throw a spanner in the works Rob but I have a really uncomfortable feeling about all this. In light of the statement by EFL and now the FA this could really backfire. Of all the club’s in this country the authorities will be rubbing their hands together over this. Just how ironic would it be if this episode had a major impact on what could be our most successful season. It feels like we are playing with a loaded gun. I just hope I am totally wrong.


  8. NickB(50yrsLU)

    Lampard used to put on that same spoilt-brat, sulky face when Chelsea lost big matches – it’s deeply ingrained. Elsewhere, you touched on something I’ve wanted to say, re. Bielsa’s achievements with ‘also-rans’. It’s occurred to me that he is making a mockery of the ludicrous figures paid for big-name players. The fact is, if a player has good legs & muscles (you’ll remember how he selected Pochettino as a youth!), disciplined fitness & diet regime, and an adequate brain, a top coach can produce devastating results with apparent nonentities. Just a thought – if we do go up, and if we do a Leicester, or a Wilko, will all our players suddenly be in the £400m bracket? That would make Radrizzani’s grin so broad, it could turn into a black hole! You might soon need to re-assess two of the pics below!


  9. Reality Cheque

    I see Shaun Harvey & Co have joined the witch hunt now Rob, to investigate morals and integrity in today’s game. Now that does take hypocrisy to a whole new level


  10. Johnny Bangkok

    How about hundreds of fans go to the next Derby training session with binoculars outside the fence? That would really put the cat amongst the pigeons!


  11. Lampard is a childish fool. Now we have brave woman hitter Collymore and Millwall animals leader Harris getting all sanctimonious. None of these scumbags are fit to shine the honourable Bielsa’s shoes! The danger is that the crooks at FA and EFL will find a way to twist the rules against us. A points reduction would be totally unjustified but they hate us eh?


  12. Richard Allenby

    A very entertaining and amusing read.


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