Brave Collymore Threatens Leeds Tweeter Jamie, Then Realises It Might Be a Bloke – by Rob Atkinson


The Spygate furore continues to divide football people, with fans and pundits alike taking entrenched positions either side of the common sense threshold. Despite the emotive nature of the argument, arising out of the emotional nature of the initial complainant, Derby’s Frank Lampard, the exchanges have remained mostly courteous. But there’s always the exception, which brings me on to Stan Collymore.

Stan is well known for a tendency to use force when his brain runs out of ideas – just as long as the recipient of the violence is unable, for gender reasons, to hit back. This was amply demonstrated when Stan was somehow upset in a Paris bar by his then girlfriend Ulrika Jonsson. With Ulrika being both female and on the petite side, Stan saw no reason to mess about and nothing to fear, so he used his hands to settle his girlfriend’s hash good and proper. Brave man! When this incident crops up these days, Stan likes to remind people that Ulrika sustained no bruising which, in Collymore’s bizarre world, seems to make it all ok.

Stan is also fond of reminding people who disapprove of violence towards women that he has suffered from depression and a borderline personality disorder – but, sadly for the hero of the airwaves, some appear to feel that’s no excuse. Collymore still gets upset though, when anyone has the temerity to refer to that time he hit Ulrika, and he still likes to hint at dishing out the treatment in cases where it appears safe to do so.

Accordingly, when a Leeds United tweeter called Jamie made some passing reference to his violence towards Ms Jonsson, Stan had no hesitation in peddling a variation on the classic keyboard warrior line of “come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough” – but seemed bemused into silence when other Leeds tweeters pointed out that “Jamie” could easily be a bloke, and therefore not on the Collymore list of safe targets.

It’s all quite disgusting, of course, but probably to be expected of someone who styles himself an award winning broadcaster, presumably to compensate for the embarrassing fact that he won the square root of sod-all as a footballer. There’s some insecurity and anxiety going on there, and that should be recognised. But if Stan’s going to stick his head above the parapet in his current career, to make daft remarks about a bona fide legend in Bielsa, then he must expect to be targeted in the odd salty response, with references to his unfortunate past thrown in.

It’d be nice also if Collymore could refrain from hinting at violence, even if it’s only in cases where he possibly thinks his target is female. Then again, sadly, leopards don’t tend to change their spots.

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18 responses to “Brave Collymore Threatens Leeds Tweeter Jamie, Then Realises It Might Be a Bloke – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Steve Clark

    Few things are more tiresome than to hear somebody who was a total waster as a player trying to act as though he occupies any sort of moral high ground. As a footballer Collymore used about one tenth of his ability.
    Contrast this with a true great like Paul Madeley, who had more ability than Collymore and always used this to the full. These are good reasons why Paul played more than 750 games at the top level, played for England twenty five times, and won Championship, F.A, Cup, League Cup and Fairs Cup winners medals.

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  2. Life is LUFC

    Sorry Rob but I need to point out one error here……..you intimated he had a brain! I bet he messed himself when that thought finally hit what few very little grey cells occupy that space where the fully matured brain should should sit.
    Otherwise an interesting blog and thanks for reminding me of the young ladies name, I could picture her but the name just escaped.
    I enjoyed Bielsa’s masterclass though….what a man.

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  3. pete taylor

    Someone should have told him that if he cannot talk sense he should keep his mouth shut.
    Hard man,what a laugh, wouldn’t last five minutes on a rugby league team. He would be eating his meals through a straw with his attitude

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  4. Marcelo in Leeds

    Rob – you may have missed out the News of the World story on Collymore’s dogging exploits which probably cost him his BBC job. Not just LUFC folk who like hanging about in bushes eh?

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  5. Just for a giggle, Google Collymore and Grewcock (strange name I know, but true). See what happened when Stan “the man” came up against a bloke, wonder if there’s still a warrant out on him 🙂

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  6. David Baxter

    Collymore went OTT with one fan and told him or any Leeds fan to come down to Cannock if he fancied a bit, unfortunately he then got a response from Josh Warrington accepting his invitation. Stan went very quiet after that.

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  7. Tim Campbell

    There have been enough self righteous ‘Richard’ Heads about lately to spout off their vitriol, not only against our exceptional and esteemed manager, but showing their utter hatred for our club, falling back on their pathetic ‘dirty Leeds” tag to promote themselves in no one else’s eyes but their own.
    Read this article from the Irish Times and would recommend reading it, as close to the truth as I feel we’re going to get on the matter at hand, and as far as I’m aware given from someone who would qualify as neutral
    https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/soccer/english-soccer/bielsa-emerges-from-espionage-furore-as-a-figure-of-great-humility-and-integrity-1.3761780?mode=amp

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  8. Brilliant. Love it. No harm to put that woman beater back in his box. Another arsehole who can’t handle been out of limelight. Wanna b leeds hater. M.O.T.

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  9. Mike Riley

    The violent, dogging misoginyst collymore aside _I’m worried that the football league will ruin our season with a big points penalty – probably decided in the kangeroo court (again) of the rest of the league managers. What a joke to ask our competitors to be be the judge and jury but I can see it coming – not if we were for example Lincoln or Fulham – but we’re Leeds. i’m very worried.

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    • Can’t see it Mike, to be honest. I think Bielsa has mobilised support from the common sense margins of the game, and has made his critics look more than a bit ridiculous.

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  10. Joe Namath

    I don’t know which of these ‘experts’ is the bigger hypocrite….
    Could it be Frank ‘Sex Tape’ Lampard?
    Or possibly Stan ‘Dogger” Collymore?
    Or maybe Martin ‘Intimidation’ Keown?
    All of whom feel justified in questioning the morals and integrity of others.
    Incredible really. Luckily some of us are not fooled by their double standards.

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  11. Reality Cheque

    Just when I felt that “burnout” was not going to threaten our promotion push after all Rob, we now face the prospect of replaying all our opening 27 games to placate Collymore et al (Sky Sports pundits), following Bielsa’s blanket “confession” yesterday.

    Thankfully, there has been a precedent set by Crystal Palace who were fined £25,000 when Cardiff City’s team line-up was “leaked”. But lets face it Rob, Crystal Palace are not Leeds United so, in the interests of usual FA/FL inconsistency, we are likely to receive a much more severe punishment, (as was demonstrated yet again, only today, when Watford’s Troy Deeney only received a fine for derogatory comments he made about the referee whereas Pontus was given a suspension as well as a fine)

    I must admit, I am on the fence regarding the wisdom of Bielsa’s impromptu press conference, (but at least I’m not looking through the fence!). LOL

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  12. Every TV pundit , reporter,ex players,etc who are slagging The Great Man off are all men of the lowest morals in football, look at the names all cheats, playboys, con artists and tossers.To end on a happy note 3-0 win sat, and Alioski to score any time.

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