Football League Investigates Leeds but Finds Itself Corrupt by Mistake – by Rob Atkinson


In an amazing twist, the Football League’s probe into the Leeds United “Spygate” allegation has led to a finding that the League itself is corrupt and not fit for purpose. A red-faced FL spokesman admitted that the findings themselves are real enough, but that the direction of the investigation was misconceived. “We didn’t mean to probe ourselves,” the man from the FL confirmed, “That was just an embarrassing mistake that stemmed from noticing Shaun Harvey’s eyes are too close together. But, because the error happened, we now find that we’re utterly corrupt, useless and totally bent out of shape – so I suppose we’ll have to do something about that, like ban ourselves or whatever. It’s all a bit bemusing, all we wanted to do was rattle Leeds United a bit. Deary me”.

What happens next is unclear. The League could appeal against its own findings, but we understand that it’s struggling to find grounds. “We appear to be bang to rights on being as corrupt as you could imagine”, said our man, gloomily. One possibility is that the League might disband itself and turn control of the FL72 over to some less obviously useless organisation, such as the BBC or the Tory Party. The next few days should be very interesting.

Meanwhile, Leeds United are free to continue with preparations for their match at Stoke on Saturday, and a furtive gentleman dressed inconspicuously outside the Potters’ training ground put down his binoculars long enough to confirm that the pre-match build up was “going as well as can be expected”.

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12 responses to “Football League Investigates Leeds but Finds Itself Corrupt by Mistake – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Haha, Shaun Harvey to replace Theresa May and Leeds to move to Europe… What a pointless charade! Good article though!

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  2. Reality Cheque

    The EFL have asked Leeds United for “its observations” on the spy-gate incident?
    Does that mean an actual copy of the spy’s “observations report” whilst he/she was outside Derby’s training ground Rob?
    Apparently, the spy’s only brief was to confirm whether or not Wilson was participating in training and therefore likely to play against Leeds. Does this amount to “disrespect”?
    If Bielsa and/or Leeds United are punished in any way whatsoever then the club must immediately ban any questions regarding player injuries, line-ups or new signings at every future press conference and not involve any players in press conferences, (I have always thought that players should do all their talking on the pitch anyway Rob)

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    • I suspect they’re asking for the club’s comments on the situation from the Leeds United point of view, prior to weighing things up, considering it all carefully – and then chucking the book at us if at all possible 🙄

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  3. Stephenc Cartwrightc

    it’s a pity they weren’t as good at there job with the headbutting incident against Brentford,the red cards that went unpunished against the blunts,the diabolical refs they send us every week.
    the amount of times that this has happened in the past and nothing has been mentioned including the biggest tournament in world football the world cup finals where nothing happened after spies were blatantly caught.yet when it is the old enemy let’s hit them with a tonne of bricks.

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  4. Stephenc Cartwrightc

    they are worse than Thatcher was with the miners Rob

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  5. howard mackey

    Evening Rob,just been told Leeds have sent an observation report in to the E F L it states that footpath was dangerous lots cracked and raised flags
    and the chain link fence needed two coats of Hammerite paint.
    Regards, H.

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  6. Neil Macdonald

    Leeds need to be careful when they make these ‘observations’. It’s an invitation to hang yourself.

    More importantly, there is precedent for this. Check out Cardiff v Palarse in April, 2014. Long story short, we had a ‘spygate’ & Palarse were hit with an undisclosed fine. Apparently the max fine for this type of behaviour was £25k. So it’s not the uncharted territory that everyone seems to be referring to. There’s a very clear precedent, and it ain’t serious.

    We could really put our foot in it with these ‘observations’, and give them wriggle room to make more of it. Hope not.

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  7. Robert Parr

    I see Stewart Pearce has thrown his hat into the ring, stating the points should be given to Derby, as it will stop any other club spying!
    Well let them have them, we’ll win the league anyway, as this is all driving a seige mentality at Elland Road.
    Even I’m surprised how many ex players hate us!

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  8. Reality Cheque

    If Bielsa breached the EFL “Charter” and is considered “disrespectful” or to have brought the game into disrepute for watching Derby train through a wire fence from a public footpath then how unforgiveable are Norwich for painting the Away dressing room pink in bid to lower the performance of each and every visiting rival team?

    Leeds used this as a motivation to prove that they could overcome any “tactic” used and stuffed them 3-0 in front of their own fans.

    Lampard was given a lesson in football at Pride Park and shouldn’t have needed any more motivation than to get his team fired up and get revenge at Elland Road. However, he chose to go public on “spygate” but even that didn’t inspire his players to go out and teach Bielsa’s Leeds a lesson. Quite the reverse happened Rob and they were given another lesson in football by an injury weakened Leeds side.

    In summary, if Bielsa/Leeds are charged for one “misdemeanour” then Norwich should be charged with the multiple “disrespect/disrepute” offences they committed against rival EFL teams visiting Carrow Road. If Leeds and Norwich were to have points deducted accordingly, Derby might just make the play-off berths after all Rob which would be the biggest “disrespect” of the EFL ever!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Alan Flint

    Now I know why Fat Frank is so indignant about it all, ignoring his crass, and rather disgusting behaviour when he was at the blue scum, he is a PUBLIC SCHOOLBOY ! ! ! and that little Elland Road place is full of them there working class oiks.
    I’m sure Pearce’s views will go down well with the few fans of Notts Florists 😉

    Like

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