Frank Lampard for Leeds, Replacing Bielsa? April 1st Already?? – by Rob Atkinson

A less than likely story…

The silly season is a year-round event these days, so it seems. That doesn’t come as too much of a surprise, with so much competition for online news hits that writers and editors have taken to publishing any old rubbishy speculation as news, feasibility apparently no longer featuring as a desirable attribute for some of these desperate punts.

Still, there should be a limit. One spectacularly dim Leeds-centric web source has seen a bookmaker’s price for Marcelo Bielsa’s successor in the hot seat at Elland Road, and has got all excited, publishing an extended burble that is as far removed from reality as it’s possible to get. “Lampard favourite to succeed Bielsa” screams their headline, totally forgetting that, with no prospect of the Argentinian being sacked or electing to leave, all candidates to succeed him will be equally and extremely unlikely. In short, it’s like betting on candidates for UK President when the Monarchy falls – the opposite of printing money.

The intoxicated over-excitement of (for that is their name) does not end there. In another article, they feature the musings of ex-Villa mediocrity turned pisspoor pundit Gobby Agbonlahor, who has been getting his jockstrap in a knot over the vociferous support given to United during the terminal phase of Saturday’s home defeat to Arsenal. Poor Gobby is indignantly upset by this defiant, phenomenal support, he admits he just doesn’t understand it, bless him and seems to resent the Leeds fans for their passion and commitment. I suppose a career spent struggling at a usually apathetic Villa Park would make manifestations of fabulous support seem a bit strange, but Agbonlahor should perhaps chill a bit and reflect on the fact that the atmosphere in football hotbeds can differ radically from that of more insipid midlands locations. Still, if hard-of-thinking outlets like leeds-live are going to give Gobby’s thoughts publicity they don’t merit, then maybe you can’t blame him for basking in some undeserved reflected glory. But it’s an unedifying spectacle to see such dross passed off as news, or even as anything approaching an informed opinion.

I blame the outlets, personally. Bookies are always compiling speculative odds lists, for better or worse, it’s just what they do and sometimes good for a laugh. And Gobby is always spouting bovine ordure – that’s what he does. The sensible thing to do would be to move on, having indulged in a wry smile and maybe a slight roll of the eyeballs. There’s no need to go spreading this crap about, as if it might ever mean anything in the real world.

When you hit these depths of profound stupidity, though, there’s often a perverse determination among the clueless perpetrators to keep on digging and see just how deeply daft they can get. So what can we expect next week? How, after all, do you top “Lampard for Leeds”? Old purple nose S’ralex himself would be a likelier shout than Fwank, who would be driven screaming clear round Leeds ring road pursued by a baying mob, and tracked by Orta’s famous binoculars, should he ever dare to pitch up in LS11. It’s honestly hard to imagine a less likely candidate – hang on, though. Could the next story be “Gobby for Next Leeds Boss”? If you’ve ever struggled through a “scoop”, you probably shouldn’t put it past them…

Marching On Together

8 responses to “Frank Lampard for Leeds, Replacing Bielsa? April 1st Already?? – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Uncle Dave

    More chance of Lord Lucan riding into Elland road on Shergar.


  2. Darrell Burnett

    a loudmouth Ex Derby boss?
    A man who has had it in for Leeds for his entire managerial career?
    Why that’s as preposterous as employing Cloughy to replace The Don….oh hang on….


  3. Life is LUFC

    I have not even read this yet but if there was ever a headline that was going to bring something from you this is it 🤣🤣🤣
    Brian Clough all over again and I said the exact same words again….you are joking.
    A very Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Happy New Year to you and yours Rob. MOT ALAW


    • You seem completely in touch with what riles me 🤣 A very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2022 – let’s hope it brings plenty of wins for our heroes and some sanity in the wider world beyond football 🤞


  4. John Bennett

    To be fair, there are two people less likely or suited to manage us – Abonglabore, obviously, but even worse Heckinbotham, the worst manager in our history who introduced the “red” tracksuit to our touchline and was clearly on a vindictive mission to destroy the club. By the way, I’ve checked the so called list of candidates and can’t find Sam Allardyce, so it must be fake news!


  5. Don’t get me started Rob – oh too late! Gobby being described as a pundit has to be the joke of the century, he doesn’t know his arse from his elbow yet certain “news” organisations allow him to spew his moronic musings. Those two brain cells must be working overtime to come up with the nonsensical drivel he offers as facts. Unfortunately there seems to be more and more click bait sites offering their “exclusive news from a source close to the club” Utter bollocks! If 10% of it was true we certainly wouldn’t be worried about a shortage of fit players as we would have a squad of about 120. The good news I think is that the vast majority of true fans see the effluent for what it is and go to more reliable sources.
    Keep up the posts, always make me smile.


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