Monthly Archives: December 2012

The Worst Man U Manager Ever?

I’m not inviting nominations here.  I have but one candidate for this title, a man whose personal qualities and actions during his period of tenure put him, I would argue, clear ahead of the field as the worst Old Trafford boss of all time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Sir Alex Ferguson.

Now, let’s not be simplistic about this.  The worth of a football manager – who, let’s not forget, carries the responsibility for how his club is perceived by friends and foes alike across the globe – cannot be measured by a mere count-up of baubles won.  What is the standing of the Football Club when he arrives?  How will he leave that Club when he finally clears his office?

In Ferguson’s case, the answer is glaringly obvious.  He has presided over the most horrendous degradation of a football club’s standing and image that I can bring to mind.  Manchester United, thanks almost entirely to the stewardship of Sir Matt Busby, was once upon a time the Football Club most closely associated with honour, dignity and The Way Things Should Be Done.  Only Arsenal, and later Liverpool would come anywhere close to matching the standards set by Sir Matt.

Busby did not have it easy.  He arrived at a bombed-out Old Trafford in 1945, with a history as a Manchester City and Liverpool star behind him.  This was hardly calculated to endear him to the devotees on the Stretford End.  He also had to contend with the slightly shady influence of the ruling Edwards family over the club, and of course he suffered hideous personal injuries in the Munich air disaster, as well as losing the core of his second great team.  Against this backdrop, he created a club that was known as “everyone’s second favourite team”, and beloved of their own massive following.

Looking back, it is sad to see how the legacy of Sir Matt Busby has been squandered.  Manchester United these days are perhaps the most hated brand – I use the word advisedly – in the sporting world.  Given the amount of trophies won under Ferguson’s ruthless management, it would be easy to ascribe this to envy.  But there have been successful, dominant clubs before, and none have attracted quite the same level of opprobrium.

The Ferguson Factor is the difference here.  Busby and Ferguson were both at the helm long enough to be completely identifiable with the club they represented.  Busby stood for dignity and respect, Ferguson stands for arrogance and intimidation.  His most recent rant is symptomatic of this.  A playground taunt whereby he is manager of the most famous club in the world, and his opposite number is at “a wee club in the north-east”.

The small-mindedness of such language is mind-boggling in such a major sporting figure, and Ferguson has plenty of form in this regard.  His club suffers more with every such outburst, and for all their fans claim they don’t care as long as the trophies roll in, I beg leave to doubt this.  We all need to be loved, respected, admired.  Manchester United has little of this now, outside of its own rabid support, but there was a time when the club was a byword for affection and respect among football lovers everywhere.  This is the scale of the downfall; this is the measure of the negative effect of Ferguson’s reign.

Sir Alex Ferguson – the original Knight you wouldn’t send a dog out on.  J’accuse.

America’s Credit Rating

From: International Arms Inc.

To: America, Washington DC, America

Dear America

We were concerned to hear of the recent downgrading of your credit status. We would remind you that your outstanding unpaid account with us currently stands at $3.86 trillion and 46 cents. As most of the goods and services purchased with your credit facility are of a non-redeemable, and indeed fissionable nature, we feel that our position regarding the extent of your credit has become untenable, and we therefore require you to redress the situation forthwith.

Please settle this account within 7 working days. Failure to do so may result in a personal call at your home, and the removal of goods, statuary and minor geographical features. We feel that you would prefer for this situation to be avoided, particularly under the gaze of your neighbours Canada and Mexico (to say nothing of Cuba). You may also of course find it harder to obtain credit in the future.

Please do not ignore this letter. You can discuss your situation with our trained and friendly advisers, who will be happy to assist in any way they can, short of showing any compassion, understanding or reasonableness regarding concessions or longer term arrangements etc.

Payment can be made at your local Post Office using the counterfoil at the foot of this letter, or by remittance in the enclosed envelope. Please do not forget to affix a stamp.

Many thanks for your co-operation in this matter.

Yours etc
IA Inc.

Seize the Day

Chance puts hazards in our way
And yet this life is ours to make
Reject the part luck has to play
Pause and think; make no mistake
Each of us must seize the day

Dare defy the whims of fate
Innate ambition is your friend
Exert your will, it’s not too late
Make YOUR life what YOU intend.

The Key To England’s Quest For World Cup Glory – Could It Be LESS Money?

It’s not been a good year for England’s international football team.  Of course, this is something that can be stated, quite accurately, most years.  It’s a recurring problem, the way we always seem to fail to punch our weight in the big tournaments.  The World Cup qualifiers this autumn 2012 were a case in point.

An over-riding concern, as far as the actual football goes, must be the depressing lack of quality in an England team made up, as usual, of multi-millionaires, millionaires, and perhaps two or three of the merely very rich.

Against San Marino, a motley crew of one lower-league pro and ten part-timers, the pride of England laboured mightily, but showed very little class or penetration, admittedly against opposition whose ambitions stretched no further forward than the halfway line. But still, the glass-half-full brigade will argue, we won by five – and so we did.  But it could and should have been better, and we can’t avoid the question of why it wasn’t.

Poland provided a higher class of opponent, but having taken the lead, somewhat fortuitously, England couldn’t build on it, couldn’t stem the tide of red flowing towards them, and couldn’t hold their lead.  Where, we are justified in asking, was the class and composure?  Where were the passing skills, why was possession so hard to win and to retain?

With the money in the game, the long-established infrastructure, and the size of our nation relative, say, to a country like Holland which produces excellence as a matter of course, we should be doing better.  Something is rotten in the state of England.  What are the missing ingredients?

Allow me to propose an old-fashioned answer: pride and passion.

Now, I’m not suggesting that the players who represent England are lacking totally in either commodity, but I would venture the opinion that this is no longer the over-riding motivation.  Money – oodles of it – looms far too large within the game.  To clear the players’ heads, to rid them of competing considerations and leave them focused on the job in hand, to nurture the mindset that they are representing their country, and carrying the hopes of millions, I would propose – quite seriously – that we abandon henceforth the practice of paying players to play for England.

This is not a new idea, not by any means.  Before World War Two, players selected for England were invited to choose a match fee or a souvenir medal – not both.  They invariably opted for the medal – and this in an era when professional football wages were capped at a level not far above those of a skilled worker.  But pride and passion motivated them.

Nowadays of course, footballers earn a vast amount, and some would say good luck to them – but do they really need to be paid over and above their club contracts for what is still a signal honour?  How does this affect the way we see them?

As things stand, the emotional distance between the crowd and the players is magnified by a patently enormous gulf in financial status, which breeds resentment among the fans when things aren’t going well on the field (look at him, fifty grand a week, and he couldn’t trap a bag of cement). Would the frequently toxic nature of that crowd/team relationship not be improved if the players were really playing for the shirt and the cap, and nothing else?

Removal of monetary rewards would not be universally popular among the players – but might this not help sort out the committed from the opportunist, and thus – to risk an archaic phrase – engender a more positive team spirit?

There would be no unpalatable need for the FA to profit by the players’ noble sacrifice.  The money that now goes on match fees and bonuses should instead be diverted to a charity of the players’ choice – and would this not only provide an additional incentive to win, but also enhance the team’s good-guy credentials?

They might feel, deep inside, that they’re a cut above the opposition – who are shamelessly, brazenly, doing it for the money.  It might even give them that crucial edge. Success is, after all, about the steady accumulation of marginal gains.

No match fees or any bonus, not a red cent – just an international cap.  No taint of lucre in the motivations of the players, who would in any case be set for life even if they never earned another penny.  No charge of “mercenary footballers” from a disgruntled crowd – rather it would be:  well done lads, you’re doing it for England and glory.  If you didn’t win – well, we know you were giving of your best, for love of the shirt and charitable causes.

Can there be a better incentive than national pride and sheer altruism, uncluttered by the financial bottom line?  Wouldn’t there just possibly be a whole new dynamic around the currently embattled England setup that might even take us onwards and upwards?  Am I being hopelessly idealistic or even naïve?  Perhaps – but I would humbly suggest that it’s got to be a better way, and is certainly worth a try.