Hurt Feelings and Childish Tantrums Down Millwall Way – by Rob Atkinson


No-one likes them, and apparently they care TERRIBLY

No-one likes them, and apparently they care TERRIBLY

Tears are being shed, teddies thrown out of cots, feet stamped in darkest Bermondsey. Tantrums are the order of the day.  Millwall fans are feeling hurt and slighted, and d’you know wot, Guv’nor?  They don’t fink it’s fair.

They have this catchy little song they sing to something vaguely resembling the tune of Rod Stewart’s “Sailing”.  The melody (for want of a better word) is just about recognisable, despite the distinct lack of choirboy types among the New Den congregation.  It’s sung loud and proud, if not all that sweetly, but what can you really expect from proper ‘ard ‘ooligans eh?

The thing is, the words are a bit misleading.  There’s a catchy verse or two about being Millwall, Super Millwall, from The Den, and then it goes “No-one likes us, no-one likes us, no-one likes us, we don’t care.”  And this is where the irony kicks in because, to judge by the reaction my few “home truths” articles about Millwall and its fans have received recently, they DO care.  They care terribly, and their feelings, bless ’em, are painfully, grievously hurt.  The resentment is palpable, which seems a little odd when set against the background of the misery that, over the years, these barely civilised ruffians have doled out to visiting fans.  I’d normally use an “allegedly” in that last bit, but you know. Come on. Get real.

They’ve caused mayhem on the road too, whenever they’ve travelled in sufficient numbers.  Happily, as they normally bring only a hundred or so to Elland Road, they tend to huddle together quietly at our gaff, being ever so well-behaved and not saying “Boo” to a goose.  But generally speaking, the behaviour they like to display (if their numbers are sufficiently intimidating) to opposition fans strikes a curious contrast with the prevailing attitude if anyone has a go at them in print.  Then, the collective lip starts to quiver, tears spring to the eyes and the mewling and whinging starts.  This petulant attitude can reach quite a crescendo, and seems to consist mainly of childish protests along the lines of “You’re as bad as us!  Pot, kettle, black!!  IT’S NOT FAIR!!!!”  All very disappointingly soft and lacking in the hard-as-nails, “not bovvered wot anyone else finks” image they like to portray in their little song.

So, over the past few weeks, I’ve gained a new and unfamiliar impression of your average Miwwwaww fan (they’re not very good at pronouncing their L’s darn sarf).  Previously I’d thought of them mainly as squat thugs, built on troglodyte lines, eyes close-set, knuckles tattooed “Love” and “Hate” and an anchor on the forearm with “Muvver” etched beneath it; terrifying when part of a mob – which is how they would invariably operate. But in the light of the piteous squeals and squeaks of protest I’ve received lately, I’ve had to revise this image.

Now it seems to me that yer typical New Den habitué is a more sensitive soul altogether, with perhaps a rather weak chin beneath a trembling “north & south”, vulnerable blue eyes all a-brim with big fat tears – and the whole topped by the kind of golden curls you associate with that soft lad whose mum would never let him play football in the street. He’ll be a bit skinny, built more for flight than fight, and his whole demeanour will be suggestive of someone who, if anyone should raise a voice to them or speak an angry word, might very well break down altogether and run home shrieking to hide under the bed.  It’s a picture at odds with popular folklore – but what else can you conclude when you hear such awful, grief-stricken and self-righteous fits of pique?

The kind of people I’ve been hearing from, so distraught and horrified that I could even dream of being critical or unkind, would appear to be the type that are quite happy being as offensive as they can get away with in the furtherance of their pursuit of happiness, but – and here’s the thing – who get extremely unhappy should anyone tell inconvenient truths about them, or make uncomfortable allegations – maybe even generalise a bit or otherwise paint a grim picture of the archetypal Millwall fan.  They get so cross, it’s amusing.  They take to Twitter, where they spend half their time going on about how they’re not bovvered – and the other half making it abundantly clear how awfully, painfully bovvered they are, and calling down divine judgement upon the head of the inoffensive blog that is the source of all this distress.

Such is life, I’m afraid.  Sadly for the Miwwwaww fraternity, if you live by the sword you have to accept you might very well die by the sword – or even by the pen which, as any literary type will tell you, is easily the mightier of the two.  It’s simply a case of suck it up, stop whinging, straighten up and fly right, all that kind of thing.  Or of course, the option is there to “Carry on Crying”, if that’s what floats the Millwall boat, soft and silly as it might appear to everyone else.  It’s your call, Miwwwaww fans.  I’m happy to say that I couldn’t give a toss.

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27 responses to “Hurt Feelings and Childish Tantrums Down Millwall Way – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Rob Miwwwawwa do not give me any thrills ’cause I do not see them as rivals. I hardly remember any significant player in their books in British football history. I understand this SG generation who has the rivalry in mind but remembering what comes to late 1960s onwards well….

    Yes we are in the same division still but not long for sure.

    Tare

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  2. It’s probably because the ” ‘ard ‘ooligans ” can’t read so you only get replies from the sensitive ones

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  3. No one likes us , no one likes us ,, erm, acctually no one gives a shit mush

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  4. Raymond Hellier

    Another amuzing artice you must stop this love affair with us lions your team have won today 4-0 you should be reporting on that or having a pint of ale to celebrate its nice to know we get under your skin so much though.

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  5. Raymond Hellier

    Thats football mr atkinson they beat us 4-0 you beat them 4-0 we beat you 2-0 its a funny old game 🙂

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  6. My god you really need help. You are obsessed with us!!

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  7. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  8. Credit where it’s due, the Millwall fans didn’t attack the opposite manager nor throw coins at the other teams scorers.

    Good day all round, well done lads.

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  9. As a Millwall fan and a socialist, reading your background info describing yourself as a lefty made me chuckle. I thought your comments on Millwall after the Leeds game displayed the sort of Guardian columnist tinge that you get with a certain type of lefty who is never really comfortable with the intracacies of the working class. Yes, stupid offensive chants by some of our fans, some will learn, some won’t, just like fans of lots of other clubs including Leeds who chant offensive celebrations of disaters/deaths. You seem to have no context of why a layer of supporters act in a certain way at certain clubs, yours included. This includes the downside of the heritage of tough uncomprimising support, that most of each new generation of those who pick up the negatives eventually grow out of. Again, other clubs included,there are reactionary or aggressive views/actions that reflect communities the fans come from (as well as the positive aspects of those communities such as loyalty, solidarity, humour etc). I’m a leftie but I suspect the difference with me and you is that I travelled the country, thinking I was perhaps a little bit of a jack the lad hanging around fringes of the more ‘lively’ groups of fans. From that perspective, having travelled to Leeds on several occasions in the 80’s and also since I’ve grown a bit older and wiser, I can abolutely confirm that a certain layer of your fans are no different to a certain layer of ours. You need to accept this, really, although probably something you will never understand.

    Moving on to your latest rant on the QPR ball incidents, this has seen you move from the Guardian to more of the style of a Sun reporter. Ignore the truth and make it up. The picture you put on your own blog actually showed that the ball thrown at Harry Rednapp was thrown by a club official and obviously not aimed at him on purpose!!! Nonetheless, to you this is an assasination attempt. I didn’t see what happened with Joe Jordan but obviously, nor did you so you decide what truth best suits you, make up the second incident with Rednapp and hey ho you’ve got your headline and story!

    You also can’t help making a slightly macho point (you litle devil!) of our recent poor turnouts at Elland Road, again totally ignoring the truth that the travelling conditions imposed on Millwall fans by the police make it very difficult or impossible to attend ( for instance you dont have access to a car you can’t go, full stop) You have no honour you have no shame. You a leftie? bet you loved Tony Blair, you know how to spin just kike him and New Labour.

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  10. White Rhinos

    I once tried to ” kike” Tony Blair, but Prescott’s plums got in the way!

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  11. MidlandsWall

    This really is shocking. I actually can’t believe you are that bothered about us.

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  12. I think the Millwall fans final statement saying …..it is hard to travel to Elland Road if you dont have a car! is a classic excuse for not coming. Get yourself a 3 wheeler robin reliant fella and all of you pitch in funds to make the journey. No travelling conditions will ever ever stop Leeds fans travelling and you know it.

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  13. WhiteRose.

    Absolutely spot on! And when they do get more than a couple of hundred to go to a game away from their poxy ground, what do they do? Fight among themselves! By the way, Midlands Wall, we aren’t bothered by you ‘no marks’ at all, but judging by the number of your ‘fans’ who read a Leeds blog, you are certainly bothered about us.

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  14. Erm, Mr Orange, to say nobody gives a shit there are a lot of articles about them on here. I like Robs articles generally, particularly the 70’s stuff, JC etc. But all this Millwall stuff ? Its what you get on the kiddies sites. Come on Rob, move on. They aren’t your rival geographically or historically so why the obsession ?

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    • I’m not sure that whether they’re our rivals is relevant, they are a horrible bunch who think it’s funny and clever to make fun of the dead*. I actually prefer to agree that they’re not. But it annoys me when one club gets away with consistently awful behaviour among the worst set of fans anywhere while the idle oafs in the FA and FL do nothing – yet they’re always ready to come down on Leeds like a ton of bricks. So thanks for the well-meaning advice but I’m quite happy to carry on doing my bit to highlight the crap that goes on in the name of Millwall.

      * cue all the “well you lot sing about Munich” (no I don’t actually.)

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  15. Rob. they are totally irrelevant to Leeds. They do have a larger percentage of loonies than Leeds, which seems to get under some folks skin. Look at those goons with he Galatasary shirts from your previous article. Jesus they are laughable. I wasn’t giving you any type of advice. The England articles, JC stuff etc is interesting and funny as I class myself as one of the ‘others’ so read with interest. Don’t you think you are giving them undue/undeserved attention? Millwall fans reputation is appalling.anybody who’s watched football knows this. But there are some decent ones amongst them too too who probably dislike being tarred with the same brush, just like at Leeds.

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    • Think we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one. Any group of supporters that have a minority who take such glee in taunting us over the deaths of two of our own are repellent and odious, but not irrelevant – much as we might wish them to be. Believe me, from the bulk of replies I’ve had, mostly unfit to print, they’re neither revelling in nor enjoying what I’ve written about them.

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  16. MidlandsWall

    Rob how come some of my comments are not being authorised? You wrote this article clearly looking for some sort of debate

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    • As you say it’s only some that aren’t being authorised. I’ve let the acceptable ones on my site, but I do have standards, so I’ve rejected the crap ones.

      It’s good to be King.

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      • MidlandsWall

        Only see what you want others to see in that case. Says it all really doesnt it.

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      • The tearful tone of this rather supports what I’ve been saying in this article. It really does surprise me what precious and easily-hurt little souls some Millwall fans are, given their preferred yet apparently spurious “No-one likes us, we don’t care” image.

        There, there. Just think of it as quality control, and try not to get TOO upset.

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  17. Fair enough.

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  18. On to a more pleasant subject, after voicing the recognition for Jake Charles not a day or two ago, he has now been selected from over 1200 scholars to represent the LFE initiative. one of only eleven lads to be picked across the land. A real feather in his cap and a sign of his growing stature at that level. It sounds like a know a player when I see one. Don’t be fooled . I predicted the fat Peter Crouch playing for Leeds wouldn’t score a goal at championship level and Burnley would go down this season.

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