As Leeds’ Season Peters Out, Let’s Get Right Behind Man U! – by Rob Atkinson


Home of the ailing Canaries

Home of the ailing Canaries

Leeds United play Birmingham City away this weekend. So what? It’s been another shocking season, a fair number of the players who have donned the shirt this campaign weren’t remotely fit and proper to do so and will probably be gone by July. Quite possibly the manager and sundry staff will follow them. Leeds have been dire yet again this season; opponents Birmingham have been if anything even worse – they face the clear and present danger of relegation under their morose Geordie manager Lee Clark. It’s a meeting of busted flushes this weekend at St Andrews with the imperilled fighting the irrelevant. Move on – there’s nothing much to see here.

There’s an almost parallel situation in the Premier League this weekend as mid-table also-rans face a side urgently in need of points to avoid the drop. But there is much more potential for a bit of malicious entertainment here – IF as a Leeds United fan you can bring yourself to support our traditional bêtes rouges for once in a very long while.  Yes, folks – Man U play Norwich City on Saturday tea-time, live on Sky – and it’s time to ditch those treasured prejudices and get behind the boys in red and their dodgy interim manager.

Don’t get me wrong.  I hate Man U as much as – in fact certainly much more than – the next slavering, Leeds-mad, bile-ridden, anti-scum bigot out there. Some regular readers may already be aware of this, as I’ve dropped subtle hints from time to time.  Normally, the only time I could bring myself to wish for the Pride of Devon to succeed is against a club I hate infinitely more – the degraded dross from Istanbul, G*l*t*s*r*y.  The fact that I can now bring myself to watch TV on Saturday and wish for Man U to win is down to two factors.

Firstly, Man U are peripheral, nay, irrelevant to this season – Agent Moyes has seen to that. So it’s been neither quite so annoying when they win, nor quite so sweet when they lose (although I still enjoy this very much). Secondly – they’re playing Norwich, a nasty, jumped up little yokel of a club that I dearly wish to see take a fall and come crashing down to a status which more accurately reflects their standing in the game.  I badly want Norwich City relegated, and I will put up with even a Man U win if it helps to bring about that desirable outcome.

The fact of the matter is, this unfashionable and remote little club, under the frequently tired and emotional leadership of TV cook and wine-taster Delia Smith, have comported themselves like some latter-day Tottenham Hotspur over recent years, raiding our beloved Leeds for the few jewels in our crown much as North London’s junior club did at the beginning of our long slide down to oblivion.  It’s not big and it’s not clever – but the Spuds enjoyed themselves at our expense in the early Noughties – and it’s been those annoyingly bloody chirpy Canaries doing the same, ever since they went up to where they’ve no business being.

Over the past few seasons, Leeds fans have had to grit their teeth, grin and bear it as little Norwich – an anonymous club from the back of beyond – have used the fact of their temporarily higher league status to pluck such gems as Snodgrass, Howson, Becchio and, erm, Bradley Johnson from the Elland Road payroll.  In truth, only the first two of those four departures were all that painful – the odd twinge caused by Luciano’s departure has been relieved by his zero contribution to Naaaarritch since he joined them – but that hasn’t stopped those loveable Ciddy fans from gloating and grinning and taking the mick. Every time another transfer “coup” has been completed, there they’ve been, savouring the novelty of lording it over Mighty Leeds, crowing about us being their “feeder club” (no marks for originality there, lads) and generally cavorting all over the internet like the small-time wurzels they are.

Now, it seems, their long-awaited and richly-deserved comeuppance may well be nigh.  Hovering perilously just above the Premier League relegation zone, they look ahead to their last few fixtures of the season – and they must wonder where another point is coming from, as they anticipate difficult matches against the Devon scum as well as Chelsea and Arsenal.  You might well think they’d be lucky to get the traditional Eurovision nil points, keine punkte from that little lot. Meanwhile, the likes of Cardiff and Sunderland are beginning to shake off their season-long uselessness and threaten to accrue the couple more points which might be all it takes to elevate them over the ailing Canaries.

A relegated Norwich would, of course, have to cut their suit according to their cloth – some of their stars might well be moving on.  As a new-era Leeds with some cash jingling in our pockets, would it be too much to hope for that a couple of our much-missed stars might possibly find their way back to a reinvigorated Elland Road next season – wearing a white shirt as Massimo’s United push for long overdue glory?

Most probably it is too much – but football is about dreams and sometimes dreams come true.  But first, we need to see if those not-so-lovable country bumpkins can complete their fall from grace, starting with defeat at the Theatre of Hollow Myths this weekend coming.  Then, perhaps, we can start to hope that the mickey-taking little club will come tumbling down where we can get at them.  If I’m actually going to sit there this Saturday, hoping for a Man U win – something that might very well cause me to be lavishly, spectacularly ill – then a bit of malicious pleasure at the expense of Norwich City FC is the very least I will deserve.

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63 responses to “As Leeds’ Season Peters Out, Let’s Get Right Behind Man U! – by Rob Atkinson

  1. martyn barratt

    Rob, normally you talk some sense but this is absolute crap. Norwich have over achieved as a club by being well run as we have at the same time done the exact opposite. If their small town unfashionable club has found itself in a position to plunder the mighty whites what does it say about us?
    I realise what you say maybe in jest but i would back a world dictators eleven against Manure.

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    • Presumably, you’d back Galatasaray against them too, then? That’s the direction of your “logic” – given the World dictators’ XI thing. In which case, we have to ask ourselves – who’s REALLY talking absolute crap?

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      • Hate the Scum as u do. There was one other time I shamefully wanted them to win as well. It was a European match as I remember went down to the wire and there super sub did it for them I think can’t quite remember as it has no real significance. Anyway I’m with you on this one, would love to be playing against the turn coats next season 😉

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      • I wanted Bayern to win in ’99 and I was crushed when they didn’t. I wanted Bayern to win the other week, too – but I’m hoping Real will knock them out now.

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    • Counte Of Monte Fisto

      You don’t get it really do you, all clubs take from others but Norwich seem to actively revel in it & the number they acquired from us is OTT. The real villain of course is Bates but if you’ve met any Norwich fans in the last 3 years you will know how mouthy and superior they’ve become.
      I and all of my mates desperately want them to go down ,once there they can rot & my interest ends

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  2. Counte Of Monte Fisto

    Rob,

    I want Norwich down but I would never want any of our ex players back from them. they invested heavily in the summer & they will be losing lots of money. But all of the players who left us in our desperation can rot for me, I don’t want any of em back Gradel, Johnson, Howson, Robinson, Snodgrass, Lennon, Rose et all left us of their own will so sod em.
    BTW I though Newcastle took more from us than spurs – Woodgate being the one that hurt (& still does) the most followed by Bowyer, Bridges and Milner. Spuds only took Lennon (who I utterly despise), Rose (who is a good lad) and Robinson

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  3. Just been to the bathroom , looked in the mirror and tried to cheer for man u , my face contorted , my lips went blue , the veins in my neck stuck out and I had to eventually stop for fear of a brain hemorage , sorry rob , I tried but it just won’t come out ,,,
    Come on snoddy , stuff the bastards

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  4. sniffershorts

    god I hate whores witch so much, am hoping the scum give tweety a good slap !!!!!!!!!! Rob am happy to contribute to your cause, cant get the paypal link to cooperate however !!!!!!!!!!!

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    • You’re most kind Sniffer. The link on the main site works, that link in the article is duff unfortunately. It’s the thought that counts though, as they erroneously say 😉

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      • sniffersshorts

        hitting home, and hit paypal same thing error comes up, so by main site you mean home yes ? Im an old git, jargon with technology goes over me head… can plan a bloody good kitchen on a computer…. but that’s it , failing this can send me coppers in a envelope ha

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      • PayPal’s doing me no favours lol – it really IS the thought that counts though, so thank you 🙂

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  5. Peter Dout

    My sentiments exactly Rob. You have to be cruel to be kind to yourself sometimes. However, just a point to consider, the situation Naaarich find themselves in is partly down to our third division midfield they aquired. Apart from Snoddy they can keep them. We sent 3 double agents and a man masquerading as a footballer (Johnson) to bring them back down to their rightful home in Div 2. I think it’s going to work. (Whisper it very quietly…..come on you scum).

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  6. Norwich won’t win another game this season (Man Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal), and would probably go down even if they got something from the Man Utd game. I’d like to see a draw as I want Spurs to pip Man Utd to the last Europa spot so they don’t get into Europe next year at all. And Norwich will still go down. Best of both worlds actually.

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    • You paint a happy picture 🙂 I’m just waiting for the Sky cameras to focus on some little Canary shit crying his eyes out. I’m a bad man :-/

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    • If scum miss out on Europe altogether perhaps we can be treated to another radio 5 phone in where they struggle to find an actual manc that supports them and we get to listen to a bunch of crying southerners 😀

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    • Counte Of Monte Fisto

      Neil noooo!
      Wouldn’t you rather Shrek et all face a Thursday night trip to some east European craphole being kicked by a 7ft Russian rascist than sitting at home recuperating for their next game.
      It’s imperative scum get into the Eufa cup Thursday nights and Sunday games for their ‘fans’ to have to get home from

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      • Yes, but think big picture. they’re saddled with debt, their budget is reliant on them having European football. miss out on Europe for a couple of seasons, have all their fans in China swap to another red shifted team like Liverpool or arsenal and they will go into freefall like we did.

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  7. I reckon we know what will happen to norwich without having to “will” the scum to win. I’d sooner let what will be will be. Thay can’t and won’t survive. I’m looking forward to seeing Liverpool win the PL this weekend though. If ever a group of supporters and city deserved it it’s them. Lets also hope that after we get beaten at Brum, bm finally goes. He doesn’t deserve compensation as he was wholly incompetent,he’s hung on this long because gfh couldn’t afford to sack him. Going back to the subject of scum, i see that trapped fart on Lee Chapmans sofa is slagging off the Leeds support once again. One would have thought the chair of the supporters trust would have leapt to the defence of Leeds supporters everywhere? As with every club,supporters fantasize,romanticize and dream of what will happen under the new ownership. There is nothing wrong at all in discussing rumours etc via social media. Unfortunately there are those who choose to sulk in the corner and wallow in the abject failure of their chosen clubs. It’s worth noting also that these people rarely(if ever) attend games. They choose to sit in their south of England bedrooms with their beermat collections blogging pretentious drivel.

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  8. Afternoon Rob. I cannot bring myself to cheer on The Scum, I will just put it down to the simple science that they will beat Narwich without me and other ;Leeds fans wanting them to win. Not too long ago Scum fans cheered a Leeds winning goal which helped them, and I thought that there was no way Leeds fans would ever do the same, myself included, just would not happen, we might be pleased, but never cheer anything to do with them. I always want the Front Wheel Skids and Chelsea and Scum to lose, like you, apart from when they play those disease infested Turks, and then like tomorrow, I will put it down to fate.

    Re Narwich, I wouldn’t take any of our ex players back, no matter how good they were, as I am of the opinion that if they loved Leeds enough, they would have stayed. When they do go down, I would absolutely love it if we took Hoolahan,Pilkington and Ruddy off them and then thrash them home and away. Southampton were in lge1 when we were, and their rise to the prem is not begrudged by many,pompey aside, as they never gave it the big un

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    • I’ve nothing against the players. They’re professionals, not fans – it’s not fair or wise to expect from them the kind of considerations that fans have. It’s the crowing, gloating Ciddy fans that I want to see suffer. If I thought they could beat Man U and still go down, that would suit me very nicely indeed!

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  9. Alright Rob, but do I have to go and sit in a pub in Basingstoke with my mail-ordered scarf and talk mockney? Caaam on Younoitid.

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  10. Ian Finlay

    Sorry rob, i know what your getting at with Norwich , but wanting scum to win, just can’t bring myself to that way of thinking. Back to leeds v Birmingham , those wanting mc d out is it better if we lose again in front of Massimo ?

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    • Do I understand you to be saying that you can’t bring yourself to hope the scum win, but you can happily contemplate the One True United losing??

      How odd 🙂

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  11. Referring to Neil’s hopes that Spurs keep Man U out of Europe altogether next season, I’m not sure if it would be worse for them. Many put Liverpool’s success this season, in part down to having no European games to divert their attention. Others say Spurs have suffered this year due to the sheer number of games they’ve played. Also how many times do teams who played in Europa games on a Thursday then play rubbish the following Sunday? So, much as I agree Neil’s sentiments maybe qualifying for Europa next year will do more harm than good to their season?

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  12. There’s another reason to want manure to win their next few games.

    They might just be stupid enough to give giggs the job permenantly, which would be a disaster for them long term, what with all the talk of rival giggs / Moyes camps, his questionable loyalty (his own brothers Mrs for gods sake) and his general managerial inexperience.

    That said can’t bring myself to do it. Only time I can support them is vs galatasaray scumbags, or at a push Chelsea which is like choosing between eating a dog shit or a cat shit sandwich

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  13. Ian Finlay

    Rob I was just raising the scenario ,I never want to see leeds lose,even if it was a game of tiddlywinks . Thanks for replying

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  14. Really couldn’t give a toss re scum and the 15 fingered carrot molesters. Think we should be bigger than that, anyone off to Brum ?

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  15. Be interesting to see who doesn’t play for the scummers the next few matches.

    We might discover the likes of Rooney & wellbeck have mysterious injuries.

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    • Just enjoying the implosion at man u.

      Theres been media talk for years of another big club “doing a Leeds”. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would happen at the field of shite though.

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  16. David Smith

    Rob – agree with your sentiments on Norwich and whilst I remain a fan of Messrs Snodgrass & Howson ………. how sweet it would be to see a revitalised Leeds team put Norwich to the sword (including the above), next season ! Also as you say, it will be good to see Delia cooking up some ‘humble pie’ as well !!

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  17. Reality Cheque

    The Scum beating Norwich is a win-win situation for Leeds fans i.e. Norwich get relegated and Scum qualify for Europa League, potentially playing two dozen extra matches, half of which would be on Thursday nights in places like Siberia before coming back jet lagged to play against teams in the top six of the Premiership on Sunday afternoons for Sky (whilst trying to prove to the new manager that he has crap training routines and is not a patch on Fergie so is unfit to tell them what to do!!). That will ensure that they don’t claw their way back into the top six any time soon. Bring it on!!!

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  18. martyn barratt

    I would back Galatasaray because their average fan is no more responsible for the deaths of our fans than I am for all the racist/ English regional shit fighting that I had to endure at virtually every game from the late 70s until the early 90s .Elland road was a poisonous place to go, as it still can be.
    I love Leeds United but I cant be bothered to hate anyone else, apart from Man U, Throwing burning scarves and airfix kits is nothing to be proud of.
    Love Leeds f@ck everybody elseMOT

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  19. Michel Dyson

    The way these so-called loyal players went for more money to Norwich says all about today’s players and their insignificant fans were quick to say that we were their feeder club. If Scum send Norwich down we can call them OUR feeder club huh? Also what a great time was had watching scum ditch spectacularly all season!

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  20. Never heard of Shardenfreude, who does he play for?

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  21. HolbeckUnited

    Please do not mention the scum again its Friday evening and the start of my weekend, as long as Barnsley , and Norwich get relegated, and hopefully Gal******* get thrown outa the most corrupt football league in the world my weekend is set, beer , curry ,cuddles ,an three points come on you proud peacocks…

    REMEMBER“ IT WILL BE ALL WHITE ON THE NIGHT“.

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  22. Haha. I am with you on this Rob. Had a mini dilemma about who to support in the situation earlier but now I just want to see the pain on the ex Leeds players faces when they realise those green and yellow pastures new they moved on to (just because of the premier league lure) are not greener than the Elland Road turf. Want to see the realisation on Howson’s face that he is being relegated. Only one player there I would have back and that is Snodgrass. Can never forgive Captain Howson for abandoning ship like the Captain of the Costa Concordia

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  23. Rob! You’ve got this wrong. We want Norwich to win so we can offload 38 players to “help” them consolidate their Premier League position next year. I say if we are going to be a feeder club we should be the best possible feeder club. None of this poaching single player nonsense – we can give them a whole squad. How good would that be? Come on you canaries!!!

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  24. Michel Dyson

    Well jrs if Norwich go down maybe,just maybe the players who ditched us will realise yellow grass is worse than our white! I know players these days are mainly greedy without loyalty. I’ll laugh if Canaries dump them for getting them relegated. Anyway,let’s just be glad Cellino came in. God knows where we’d have ended up in administration.

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  25. Lorralorimer

    But do we want our ‘much-missed stars’ back? They were happy to leave the sinking ship weren’t they.

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  26. Goole white

    Don’t ever want the scum to win Norwich , they are not important. The ex players went for the money just like most people who change companies- teams

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  27. Rob, do we have an agent of our own in the prem fixture generation department? It is a decidedly dastardly run in they’ve been handed!! He he he

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  28. Michel Dyson

    Can you ever accept a player who you feel betrays us coming back?…Is it ability over liabilty or holding a grudge? Be interested to hear the whites opinions. I know i’m fairly new here went to my 1st Leeds match early 70s as a kid got to see the great Revie team. No i’m not from Leeds nearby Brighouse so can choose what i like i
    na 1 horse town!

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  29. Michel Dyson

    Good point Lorralorimer. I accept players move on for better wages etc but when it’s just to leave a sinking ship stinks! Smith anyone? He swore he’d help us back up,then ran. They will get good wages anyway even from us so why are they so mercenary?

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  30. I remember my dad taking me to E R in the early sixties I’m pretty sure it was 4 shillings adult, and 2 shillings under 16s to get in the Lowfields Road .
    On one such occasion , I remember my first ever sight of football hooliganism when we witnessed a mob of unwashed gypo scumbags bricking the Morley 52s which were carrying mainly Saturday morning shoppers . In them days before our first generation of proper hoolies got organised , scum would be in the shed and all over the place .
    I remember thinking ‘ when I grow up you’ll get some of that back ! Fortunately I grew up alongside like minded leeds fans who put a stop to the scumbags pillaging days out . They used to roam around the country bullying smaller towns but came to meet their match at Elland Road. I always was proud of that and you would meet fans of lesser clubs who would be overran when the scumbags came to town, genuinely wanting our lot to sort them out . I used to have a saying “strap me up with Semtex and get me in the Stretford end .”
    Rob , I am one of those that hates them. As such , I couldn’t care less about Naarich, I don’t want to see that red pile of dung win at all .

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  31. Rob,what happened with Smith was before we were officially relegated. He said he’d stay to help us get back up if we went down. That’s why it felt so Judas like at the time.

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  32. I’m a Norwich fan and I find this article very degrading to our club, players move on it’s part and parcel of football. Undoubtable there will be some fans who will be very insensitive towards Leed’s fans regarding the sales of Johnson, Howson, Snodgrass and Becchio, but some fans are like that. It’s no good being bitter about it, both of our teams faced hardship not so long ago and we both came out alright on the other side.

    Like

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