Derby County Keeper Still Rooted to Spot Hours After Leeds Winner   –   by Rob Atkinson

Chris Wood celebrates his stunning winner at Derby

Derby County goalkeeper Scott Carson is reported to be “still frozen to the spot”, over six hours after Chris Wood‘s late winner for Leeds United flashed inside his left-hand post this lunchtime. Local reporters are telling us that Carson, formerly on the books at Elland Road, was left helpless by the accuracy and ferocity of Wood’s thunderous strike. The keeper has not moved since, with all efforts to lure him from his goal-line proving futile.

A correspondent for the Derby Telegraph said “The latest is that Scott is still just standing there, legs braced as if about to dive for the ball, eyes fixed on the position where Wood struck his shot. He’s absolutely rigid and can’t be moved. He seems to be alive and even conscious. It’s like some catatonic state. The goalpost is still shaking, too.”

The new Leeds striker Wood, who has now scored three goals in his last three games, was modestly unassuming about his wonder strike. “Yeah, I caught it well and it’s went in off the beans on toast, as Merse likes to say. I killed it dead from Cooky’s pass, and it just sat up and asked to be hit. So, y’know, I hit it. The keeper’d no chance, he never moved.”

When we put it to Wood that Carson had in fact still not moved, the Leeds hero nodded understandingly. “Well, I caught the ball a hell of a lick and it probably shocked him, like. We never noticed he was still just stood there in the last few minutes and then stoppage time, we were all trying to keep the ball. Later, when we were about to get on the team bus back to Leeds, someone said the lad was still out there. It did seem a bit weird at the time, but I honestly thought he’d be in and changed and home by now.”

A Derby County spokesman confirmed in the last few minutes that Carson is still frozen in the position he was left immobilised in when the ball zipped past him. “Scott’s still out there and we haven’t been able to shift him,” he stated. “Luckily we’ve got a two week international break now, so we’re hoping he’ll move sometime in the next fortnight. Or at least say something, or blink maybe. It’s a bit unnerving, really.”

United Head Coach Uwe Rösler preferred to focus on his team’s “fantastic performance”, rather than discuss a statuesque goalkeeper. “The lads were brilliant,” he enthused. “We scored two fine goals and we controlled the game apart from a twenty minute spell after the interval when we let them back in it. I am so pleased for Tom Adeyemi, who now has his first goal for us. And yes I am sorry their keeper has had this reaction, but it is really not my concern.”

Derby County are nineteenth.

13 responses to “Derby County Keeper Still Rooted to Spot Hours After Leeds Winner   –   by Rob Atkinson

  1. chris moore

    i didn’t know he could shoot a ball with such force…that ball must have been traveling like a Rocket..Lorimer mark 2


  2. Can’t beat a nice away win. Especially against a team that you don’t like.
    Is it the horrible mouthy fans? Is it Martin’s face? Is it the soul-less new build stadium? Is it the silly Dorbee accent? Is it the 2 hour traffic jam after the game?… Its probably all those things that make a victory against Derby so sweet. The Rhinos won too. Great day for the finest City in England.


  3. I heard someone say that we should have kept Matt Smith and saved a lot of money. I disagreed having seen Smith’s footwork. A year later we have Smith’s heading ability coupled with good feet. Reminds me of Viduka. The old cliche ‘Good feet for a big man’ has never been more apt. Well done Chris Wood.


  4. To top off a great day for Leeds , word is we have signed a right winger from Holland ?
    Don’t know about you rob but my blood is starting to pump ,, this is starting to get exciting


  5. Philip of Spain.

    You once did a piece on teams who really,really hate us and we just don’t give a toss.The Lambs are the epitome.No class,on and off the pitch,what WAS that derge,that echoed round the terraces.Great win,great performance and it was totally deserved.


  6. Ooh Aah Botaka….But where does Byram fit in if we sign Botaka?
    Shame to drop Berardi, dont want to switch Berardi to LB as Taylor doing very well. New Right winger will want to play. So what do we do?
    Is the answer…cash in?


  7. derbyshire white

    Oh we have waited a long long time for that result in these parts. And having shelled out three million on Woody it seems tonight our owner wants Buzz Lightyear as well. Happy days.


  8. It is a squad game, but nobody wants to be a squad player.


  9. Funny as fuck nice one rob


  10. I think that this Clement wont last whole season. But what can you expect from him? He was sunday league player and now he is sunday league manager, they would have done better by signing The Hockaday®.


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