Leeds Should Pull Out All Stops to Sign Haaland Jr. Ahead of Man Utd – by Rob Atkinson


Erling Braut Haaland, the 17 year old son of former Elland Road favourite Alf-Inge Haaland, is shaping up as quite the boy wonder in Norway’s top flight. His latest exploit is to score four goals for Molde in the opening 21 minutes of an away fixture at league leaders Brann. Interestingly, young Erling is a fanatical fan of Leeds United, whose declared dream is to play for the Whites in the Champions League.

Worryingly, though, it might just be that Haaland Junior’s European fantasy could be played out via a short cut with that lesser United from over the hills. Manchester’s second club had scouts at the Brann – Molde game, and the whisper is that covetous eyes are watching from the Theatre of Hollow Myths, with Alfi’s son having impressed the talent spotters at the Pride of Devon.

We must hope that our old favourite Alf-Inge would not allow anything so unsavoury as his son signing for Them to happen. Alfi will surely have vivid memories of being assaulted by faux hard-man Royston Keane at Old Toilet, and of the career threatening injury he sustained in that cowardly assault. This alone should persuade Haaland senior to advise his lad to steer well clear of Salford.

And, on the positive side, the young star’s development would definitely be assisted by a spell with Marcelo Bielsa, the man Pep Guardiola hails as the best coach in the world. That’s the kind of upbringing any boy wonder should be looking for – naturally, though, there would first have to be some interest from Leeds United.

But why would there not be interest? Already, Erling is being spoken of as “better than his dad”, who, we will recall, was no mean player himself. What we have here is a situation begging for the only natural outcome, which would be the boy Haaland signing for his dad’s old club Leeds. Especially as Erling is such a fan. It’s the perfect match.

Come on, Mr Radrizzani – let’s get the lad signed and snatch him from the dark forces gathering around him. You know it makes sense.

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8 responses to “Leeds Should Pull Out All Stops to Sign Haaland Jr. Ahead of Man Utd – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Had to admit I hadn’t heard of this lad, but if he’s anything like as good as his old man then why not get him? His burning desire to play for the Whites in the Champions League demonstrates similar ambition to that shown by the club itself with Bielsa’s appointment, and which would surely be of interest to our new Head Coach.
    Incidentally, liked your reference to a certain place on the other side of the Yorkshire Pennines as Old Toilet because – by coincidence – a couple of weeks ago my newspaper crossword had the following clue: ‘Sports ground in Manchester that hosts cricket and football, (3,8)’. I filled in the answer correctly as ‘The Shithole’ but sadly the compiler had made an error and many of the other answers didn’t fit.

    Like

  2. Life is LUFC

    If he’s fanatical about Leeds United he would never play for the scumbags….would he?!

    Like

  3. Brad Twersky

    Wouldn’t it great if he was an avid reader of the blog like we are? Maybe someone can get his email address over to you so we can send him a link to the blog!

    Like

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