Tag Archives: Brighton

Leeds Target Ben White Can Win Everything at Brighton, says Legend Potter – by Rob Atkinson

The legendary Graham Potter

Managerial maestro Graham Potter has revealed that Leeds United target Ben White is an essential component of his masterplan for Brighton to achieve global domination by the end of the coming season, using their inimitable brand of attacking football, now rightly revered as “Potterball”, to crush all opposition.

A Brighton insider enlarged on the Seagulls’ plans to conquer football: “We are aiming to win the league and then the Champions League over the next two years, or sooner if possible. Ben White is vital to these plans, so much so that he might even get the odd game. His value to us is summed up by a price tag well into the billions, certainly more than a small club, a really really tiny, insignificant club by the way, such as Leeds could afford. And to show our commitment to Ben, we’re willing to pay him double what he was getting on our Youth Opportunities Scheme before we farmed him out to Newport”.

Asked if perhaps Brighton as a club have something of a chip on their shoulder where Leeds United and particularly Marcelo Bielsa are concerned, our man would only say “Well, you know how it is with Seagulls and chips”.

Meanwhile, the concept of “Potterball” is gaining momentum among the club’s dozens-strong supporter base. “These are exciting times”, said one drooling resident of Hove. “Potterball is where it’s at, and Ben White knows this. That’s why he’d prefer to stay and compete with seventeen other centre-backs, rather than return for another season under some Argentinian nobody. The world is at the lad’s feet – he’s incredibly lucky to have the greatest coach in the universe and £150 a week into the bargain. Read it and weep, Leeds!”

Marching On Together

Should Leeds Keep Hold of Maverick El-Hadji Diouf? – by Rob Atkinson

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Regular all-round nice guy Dioufy

He’s a rum cove, that El-Hadji Diouf.  You don’t get many like him to the pound.  At first glance, his link-up with Leeds United seemed like a match made in hell.  He was signed by a manager in Neil Warnock who had previously referred to Diouf as “lower than a sewer rat.” Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m sure I’ve heard more sparkling endorsements than that – even from the notoriously uncouth Colin.

For a while there, we very probably had the most gleaming, five-star example of the full set hate-wise.  The most hated club, with the most hated Chairman, the most hated manager, the most hated fans and the most hated player.  It rather made your heart swell with pride, and you felt that if Dioufy could be taken to anyone’s hearts, then perhaps Elland Road was the most likely place.  We are rather fond of our villains down Beeston way.

The down side of the former Liverpool man – other than his alarming tendency to get involved in trouble at the drop of a blob of phlegm – is that he doesn’t look the fittest of lads.  He’s not yet 33, and he’s got undeniable pedigree – but you’re not going to see him running past opponents too often. His main contribution to the Leeds team last season seems to have been an ability to hold the ball up in confined spaces, draw a foul and win a free kick.  There was an early flurry of goals, but it was this ball retention ability that really shone in a team which appeared quite inept in that regard.

Sadly, a few live games in the first half of the season were characterised by the commentator making a fuss about this facet of Diouf’s play, and refs seemed to be on the lookout for any possibility of being hoodwinked by the wily Senegalese schemer.  Give a dog a bad name, eh?  There were certainly quite a few occasions that I noticed where Diouf would go down with a pained expression on his face, only for the ref to airily wave play on, to approving noises from the gantry. This detracted greatly from his general effectiveness, but he still contributed to some reasonably encouraging performances in that pre-Christmas part of last year’s league programme.

Overall, I think I would say that it remains doubtful we have anyone else on the books who can use the ball in a confined space, under pressure from close markers, as Dioufy can.  Time and again, he can either slip the attention of a couple of defenders to find a man in relative acres of space, or (more often) he would gain one of those free-kicks.  Both of these gifts were invaluable to last season’s Leeds side which otherwise appeared to regard the ball as a bit of a hot potato. It’s only that telling lack of pace which limited his overall contribution.

In the home match against Brighton late in the last campaign, Diouf managed to get himself sent-off in the aftermath of a successful penalty conversion.  It appeared that he’d taken some stick from Brighton’s rather over-sensitive away support, and responded in sign language involving a too-public manipulation of his genitals, to shocking effect as far as the away crowd and sadly also the ref were concerned. A little surprisingly, this was Diouf’s first dismissal since he joined the club.  We were told that he was sorry, and that he remained committed to the Leeds United cause coming into this season (but as it’s turned out, we’ve hardly seen him since.)

So should we hang on to this mercurial talent, or not?  He’s been this season’s forgotten man and yet, since signing an improved contract, he’s taking more out of the club by far than when he was making a real impact on the first team. I would cautiously vote to retain him, unless the rumoured influx of cash really does turn out to be enough to buy someone as good as Dioufy – and maybe younger and faster.  If that turns out to be the case, then sadly it’ll be a no-brainer.  All’s fair in football and war – and there’s precious little room for sentiment.

What do other people think?  Keep him or get rid?  And if he goes – just who are the likely candidates to replace him, depending on whether we have a Red Bull sized budget, or just a tidgy little David Haigh one? Answers on a virtual postcard, please…