Tag Archives: penalty shootout

Corona Lockdown: How Sunderland’s Wembley Disasters Are Keeping Leeds Fans Entertained – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 02/04/2020 | 6 comments

sunderland-fans-crying-newcastle-united-nufc-650x400-1

Mackems not enjoying Wembley – yet again

I’ve never had much time for Sunderland, despite the fact that the Wearside club have never featured among the top echelons of rivalry with my beloved Leeds United. And really, how could they – when their sole claim to fame since the war amounts to one distinctly fluky Wembley success against Don Revie‘s overwhelming FA Cup Final favourites in 1973?

The thing is, though, that while Leeds United have generally had bigger fish to fry, the barren nature of Sunderland’s last three quarters of a century has meant that they’ve had to harp on and on about Stokoe, Porterfield, Montgomery et al ever since that freak cup final, which found Leeds well short of their normal imperious form, while Sunderland rode their luck into a page of history. It was a major shock, alright – bigger than Southampton‘s success against the Pride of Devon in 1976, and much bigger than the Crazy Gang beating the Culture Club in 1988. And, naturally, the Leeds hating media waste no opportunity to rub our collective nose in what was really a day of humiliation for a club of United’s historic standing. But them’s the breaks, and we’ve had to live with that embarrasment ever since, just as Sunderland’s needy fan base have found it a straw to clutch at for nigh on 47 years.

There are compensations, though, and Netflix came up with a beauty just this week, screening the second series of Sunderland Till I Die, which features the Mackems in familiar self-destruct mode, contriving to lose not one, but two Wembley finals as the 2018/19 season reached its climax. That’s funny enough, but the fact that this serial disaster of a club gave their fans some false hope in both matches, contriving to take the lead before capitulating, raised the comedic levels to sublime. And the nature of the Wembley occasions is also rather funny, a Checkatrade Final (whatever that is) against Portsmouth, followed by the League One play-off against Charlton Athletic, managed by our old alumnus Lee Bowyer. In both games the Mackems were ahead, prompting feverish celebrations among their hopeful but dim support – and in both games, Sunderland lost at the last gasp, on penalties against Pompey and in the very last minute of injury time against Charlton. Just as the so-called Roker Roar dissolved into tears, so Leeds United fans with long enough memories had tears of mirth rolling down cheeks that ached with laughter. It was a double dose of Schadenfreude at the time, making up in some small degree for our own less than successful climax to last season – and now Netflix have produced a comedy epic out of the ashes of Mackem hopes, almost as if they wished to entertain us Whites all over again.

This double HA9 disaster was actually made up of the two most recent helpings of Wembley Karma for Sunderland, who have contrived to lose every single Wembley appearance since 1973, including another play off defeat to Charlton in 1998, on penalties, which is always a gratifyingly painful way to get beat for any club that you don’t particularly like. Towards the end of the Netflix Laughter Show, a tearful Mackem lady is showing sobbing “Why isn’t it ever us?” in response to their latest Wembley surrender. I’ll tell you why, love. It’s payback for 1973 and that git Stokoe prancing across the Wembley pitch to hug that git Montgomery. Lovely stuff, thank you Netflix and I shall look forward to the next series of this laughter-strewn classic.

As I said earlier, it’s not a full blown rivalry, and I wouldn’t want anyone to get me wrong on this. My negative feelings about Sunderland have more to do with their intrinsic lack of charm, than any real feeling of competitive dislike. The fact that they’ve been paying in installments of misery for the joy they felt on that long ago Wembley day simply makes me feel justified in celebrating their decades of unhappiness – it’s as if they’ve suffered all that pain and angst just for us. Which is most kind of them, when you think about it. And revelling in their last two disastrous seasons has certainly provided me with plenty of chuckles and entertainment during this annoying hiatus in the current campaign. In fact, it’s put me in such a good mood that I think I’ll nip off downstairs and watch Manchester United 1, Manchester City 6, and give my chorlte muscles another brisk workout.

Marching On Together

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Posted in Football, Leeds United

Tagged 1973, Andrea Radrizzani, Bob Stokoe, Charlton Athletic, comedy, Corona virus, COVID-19, cup final, Don Revie, Elland Road, FA Cup, fans, Football, Football League, gutter press, history, Jim Montgomery, justice, karma, Lee Bowyer, Leeds United, Lockdown, Mackems, Man United, Manchester City, Manchester United, media, Netflix, penalty shootout, play-offs, Premier League, promotion, Roker Roar, Sky TV, soccer, Sunderland AFC, The Championship, The FA, UK Football, Wembley, Wordpress, Yorkshire

Coach Rösler “To be Stripped of German Nationality” Following Leeds Penalty Debacle? – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 15/08/2015 | 6 comments

Chris Wood’s penalty, spotted in low Earth orbit yesterday

Leeds United‘s ignominious exit from the Capital One Cup at Doncaster on Thursday night seems likely to have far-reaching consequences way beyond the effects on Yorkshire’s leading club this season, with dire sanctions being proposed against the Leeds Head Coach Uwe Rösler.

United’s failure to progress hung on an abysmal performance in the penalty shoot-out following a draw after extra time. It is well-known in football circles that progress is the rule rather than the exception for teams coached by Germans in these sudden death tie-breakers. German efficiency in penalty competitions is of legendary proportions, as Gareth Southgate, Chris Waddle and sundry other defeated English footballers could testify.

However, on this occasion, the Head Coach’s Teutonic origins were of no help to his team, who displayed all the deadly accuracy and cool nerve of a bunch of baby hippos trying to perfect an ice-skating routine. First Sam Byram and then Chris Wood lashed penalties over the bar, with the Doncaster keeper sagging against a goalpost, helpless with laughter. Wood’s penalty, in particular, seemed to be headed into orbit, though rumours that it caused alarm aboard the International Space Station are thought to be nearly as wide of the mark as the penalty kick itself.

All of this has been received with a distinct lack of enthusiasm back in Rösler’s native land. Germans rightly pride themselves on their legendary accuracy from the penalty spot – they even have a regular football publication called Elfmeter, the German word for “penalty kick”. The fact that a team coached by a German could show such an alarming lack of ability when it comes to putting a ball somewhere in the 192 square feet of space under the bar and between the posts, is seen as genuinely shameful. There are, allegedly, even calls for Rösler to be stripped of his German nationality and regarded henceforth as English – the ultimate in nationalist insults, with the possible exception of being branded Polish.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel, herself a passionate football fan who has been known to listen to games while on official business in the Bundestag, was tight-lipped when asked to comment on the matter of Rösler’s ongoing status as a German citizen. “This is a matter for the relevant department of government”, she said, through tight lips. “However, I can certainly say that Herr Rösler would not be welcome anywhere near my team, FC Energie Cottbus. Now, don’t bother me – go and ask your Herr Cameron whether he follows Aston Villa, Burnley or West Ham this week.”

The Auswärtiges Amt, or German Foreign Office, was somewhat more helpful, pointing out that a German citizen who voluntarily serves in a foreign army (over and above compulsory military service) from 1 January 2000 may lose German citizenship unless permission is obtained from the German government. Their spokesperson went on: “This Department is now looking into the situation of Herr Rösler and his involvement with what is known as the YRA, or ‘Yorkshire’s Republican Army‘. A further statement may be issued when those investigations are complete.”

Franz Beckenbauer is 94.

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Posted in Football, Leeds United

Tagged Angela Merkel, Bundestag, Doncaster Rovers, Foreign Office, German Chancellor, Germany, International Space Station, nationality, penalty shootout

It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times, for Leeds Starlet Cook – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 13/08/2015 | 5 comments

For any lad that grows up supporting his local club, nursing the dream of one day turning out in that sacred shirt – and who actually makes that dream come true – there can be no sweeter moment than that precious first goal for the team he loves. Tonight, in the humble surroundings of Doncaster’s Keepmoat Stadium, that longed-for moment arrived for Lewis Cook, when he stabbed home a rebound of the Donny ‘keeper to notch his first senior goal for Leeds United.

Sadly, the fairytale would have no happy ending. Leeds had already been pegged back thanks to Scott Wootton‘s agricultural challenge in the United area, leading to a Rovers penalty that stand-in guardian Ross Turnbull narrowly failed to save. And then came Cook’s moment of misery to erase his earlier joy. Surging down the right on a mazy run, the youngster took a slightly heavy touch, overstretched in his attempt to keep possession – and walked for a resulting foul that looked even worse than it was. Thanks to that mad moment, it would be ten-man Leeds for the rest of the piece, and a Yorkshire derby cup tie was ruined as a spectacle.

The Doncaster fans in the crowd, eager to see the home team compass the demise of local favourites Leeds, were suitably encouraged and filled with hope – but for the remainder of ninety minutes plus extra time, Rovers showed no real sign of being able to dispatch their numerically weakened opponents. Indeed, for much of the rest of the tie, it was Leeds looking marginally more effective going forward. But in what became a war of attrition, neither side was able to land the telling blow, and the game trudged its inevitable way to deadlock and the dreaded shoot-out.

Ironically, Leeds’ two eventual lottery losers were the second half substitutes who had done most to rekindle some hope among the Leeds faithful that United could yet emerge winners. Chris Wood and Sam Byram had given an extra dimension to United’s stubborn rearguard action, and both showed plenty going forward to suggest how vital they will be in the season ahead. But their two penalties in the shootout – Byram’s only mildly awful, but Woods’ truly abysmal – cost Leeds a real chance of victory, an unlikely chance that had been so ruggedly earned in the ten-man struggle following Cook’s first-half indiscretion.

So, Leeds are out of this competition again, to lower league opposition again, with ten men after having taken the lead, again – and in another derby as last season’s farce in Bradford was reprised only a little less farcically in Doncaster. And, really, what the hell. We were no more likely to win the League Cup than Rovers are now.

Few United fans will mourn such an early exit. It was not the defeat that rankled, more the manner of it. Another long struggle with ten men, with energy cruelly sapped ahead of a far more important game at the weekend. Head Coach Uwe Rösler had spoken prior to the match of taking the game to Rovers, an approach that is “in our DNA”. Fair enough, but it is the suicidal part of United’s genetic makeup that needs to be addressed, that fatal tendency to give away daft penalties and lose players to red cards through rash tackles. Herr Rösler has his work cut out to eliminate such innate, self-destructive traits.

After the dust has settled on a night to forget, we must spare a thought for young Lewis Cook, for whom a magical moment, eagerly awaited for literally all his life, was so swiftly eclipsed by a rash and reckless lunge he’ll long regret. Fortunately, there is ample time and opportunity for redemption where one of United’s brightest prospects is concerned.

Lewis Cook undeniably has the talent and character that ensures he can and will bounce back, to forget tonight’s temporary woe and enjoy many more of the best of times, in the Leeds shirt he promises – transfer follies permitting – to grace for many years to come.