Monthly Archives: September 2013

In Demand Icelandic Star Striker to Sign for Leeds? – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 27/09/2013 | 29 comments
Alfreð Finnbogason

Alfreð Finnbogason (SC Heerenveen)

Don’t shoot the messenger – this is very much a rumour.  But, there are rumours and there are rumours, and this one has the flavour of possible authenticity about it.

Alfreð Finnbogason is a full Icelandic international currently on the books of SC Heerenveen in Holland’s Eredivisie.  On the face of it, a move to Leeds United might seem less than likely, though stranger things have happened in the loan market, where normal rules are suspended, with the transfer window proper tightly shut till January. Finnbogason has been the subject of a bid in the region of £4 million from an un-named Bundesliga side, and when Celtic came enquiring after a replacement for the departed Gary Hooper, they were told to find £5 million, or go back whence they came.

On the plus side: Finnbogason seems to have a desire to play in English football; he is in a hot streak of form that has stirred interest far and wide; his wages are at a level that might not turn even a Leeds owner’s face too sickly white with shock – and, perhaps crucially, the source of this rumour came with the confident advice to slap a bet on the lad being the next Leeds United signing.

It’s a name that might take some getting your tongue around, never mind the cost of printing it on the back of a Leeds shirt should he actually roll up at Elland Road; but the strangest names can swiftly become familiar.  Pierre van Hooijdonk, for instance.  If this lad, with the pedigree he’s reputed to have, were to fill the number 9 shirt for Leeds, then the season might be about to pick up very considerably.

Alfie Finnbogason – remember the name (if you can).  He could be the subject of a breaking news story coming your way quite soon.

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West Ham United in “Too Tedious to Write About” Shock as Leeds Attract Internet Hits – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 26/09/2013 | 61 comments
Hammers Fans Riveted by The Boleyn Experience

Hammers Fans Riveted by The Boleyn Experience

In a startling development that could have far-reaching consequences virtually nowhere, West Ham United Football Club have been described as “Too boring to write about” by no less an authority than Scott Tracey, renowned expert on deep tedium and soporific prose. Mr. Tracey, proprietor of a “fansite” known as “The Game’s Gone Crazy“, has finally broken cover after literally too long masquerading as a serious writer about the East End club.  “I’ve given it up,” he states dolefully, “there’s just no mileage in Hammers stuff any more. Nothing’s really happened down the Boleyn for years, they just bob up and down between the top two divisions, regular as clockwork, like one of them metrodomes or summink.  Yeah, it’s like watching one of them nodding dogs in the backs of cars, innit.  Eventually, you just drop off to sleep.”

Scott is downcast by the bombshell moment of self-revelation – “I’d always fought the ‘Ammers were, y’know, quite interesting.” – but he is not entirely discouraged.  “What I’m going to do is write about other clubs.  I know just as much about them as I do about West Ham – nuffink – but what’s the internet for?  I can usually find something interesting about Leeds, or Spurs, or Leeds, or Sunderland, or Newcastle, or Leeds, Leeds, Leeds….” he trails off, looking confused and stares into space for a moment. “Yeah, I can always do stuff about Leeds….”

The realisation of West Ham’s essential tedium came as quite a shock to Scott, and initially he was defiant.  It was only when he sat down in earnest to write something fresh and interesting about them that he finally had to admit the awful truth to himself. “There I was,” he says, the memory clearly upsetting even now, “Sat there, with all the posters of the Greats looking down on me, sort of, you know, inspirating me, like – Mooro, Hursty, Petersy …….. Brookingy – all of them guys, and I realised they were all gone, all disappeared into the past.  And like us literally types are always saying, the past is a different county, innit.”  He pauses, ponders, takes a sip of Sunny Delight.  “And then I knew that I’d have to spice up my site a bit – write about things that mean a bit to people out there in the real world, and even in the East End too.”  Scott shakes his head, sadly.  “So, that’s what I done.  I’ve writ two bang tidy proper insightly things about Leeds just this past couple of days.  I’ve got this joke, right, where I call their manager Father Brian. It’s well clever, proper satiric, and it winds up them Norverners so that they read my blog and comment and stuff, and I’m minting it with the ads and that.  Cushty.”

It’s a sad tale in its way, and perhaps a fair indicator of the way in which there really are only a limited number of truly newsworthy stories these days, outside of the Premier League top five at least.  Independent authorities tend to confirm Scott’s experience, finding that websites who devote their output to football’s traditionally “controversial” clubs garner many times the number of hits of those who concentrate on less fashionable outfits like West Ham.  Some feel that the identification of the Upton Park club with a respectable but dull individual like Sir Trevor Brooking is asking for trouble in a medium where tedium is tantamount to a slow death.  Efforts have been made to look into the ‘Ammers’ ‘Istory for more charismatic personages, only to draw a blank.

Scott hasn’t given up all hope of being able to return to writing about his alleged favourites as the season goes on.  “It’s looking like another relegation fight,” he admitted, “and they’re always good for stirring up a bit of interest.  And if we do go down – as long as Leeds don’t go up – well, we’d play them again and we’re always a bit more interesting when that happens.  Not that I’m obsessed with Leeds United!” he added, hastily. “Perish the fought, mate.  Perish the bleedin’ fought.”

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Sky Sports Football Coverage Crisis Looms – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 25/09/2013 | 2 comments

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In the wake of this week’s Capital One Cup 3rd Round ties and the draw for the 4th round of the competition, a looming crisis for the BSkyB organisation – rights holders for live TV coverage – has been revealed.  The draw has thrown up ties between Newcastle and Manchester City, clearly a glamour tie – and also, before the determination of the West Bromwich versus Arsenal 3rd round game, the winners of that were pitted against Chelsea.  Arsenal duly went on to knock West Brom out on penalties, to confirm a London derby against Chelsea at the Emirates – and Sky TV were thrown into immediate crisis.

The problem lies in the unacknowledged Sky protocol known within the organisation by the secret code-phrase “Some Clubs Ultimately Matter” (SCUM).  The origin of this protocol goes back at least eight years in the case of the FA Cup.  Statistics for the secondary League Cup competition are not available owing to its comparative lack of importance. However, a Sky TV spokesperson admitted that the last Man U game not to have been broadcast live was “a bloody long time ago, like when Noah was a lad”.

The SCUM protocol is of such importance to Sky TV’s marketing and commercial departments that it is regarded as the prime reference document when live TV games are chosen.  Hence the dilemma now being faced by decision-makers, who normally at least attempt to put up some sort of justification for selecting yet another tedious Man U stroll at an embarrassingly quiet Theatre of Hollow Myths.  Off the record, a Sky commentator remarked, “We’ve got a problem this time.  People are going to want to see the two obvious stand-out ties in the next round.  Newcastle v City and Arsenal v Chelsea are both huge.  We’ll struggle to justify leaving one of those out to cover Man U reserves diving for penalties against a pallid side like Norwich”.

There was some glimmer of hope for the Sky executives in the short time between the draw being made and the end of the West Brom v Arsenal tie.  Sky Sports News covered the penalty shoot-out at the Hawthorns by remote reporting, and it would appear that pundit Alan McInally had failed to read the SCUM script.  Executives and studio presenters alike cringed as the Scot egged on Arsenal’s collection of spotty pubescent junior footballers to convert the penalties needed for victory.  It is expected that McInally may be carpeted and reminded of his responsibilities to shareholders.

“The problem is,” confirmed Sky’s un-named spokesperson, “if we failed to show a Man U cup game, we’d get flooded with complaints from Devon, Cornwall, the Home Counties – all over the south of England really.  That’s a lot of Sky subscriptions – we have to take our commercial survival seriously.  That’s why the SCUM protocol is so important to us.”

A high-level meeting is expected in the next few days to try and thrash out some acceptable fiction whereby either the game at Newcastle or the one at Arsenal can be omitted to allow the organisation to fulfill its obligations to SCUM and the Man U supporters, the bulk of whom live within easy travelling distance of Sky’s Isleworth HQ.  “We have to sort this out,” said one harrassed executive, “At the end of the day, SCUM is too vital to us all for considerations of mere football merit to prevail.”

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Altered Priorities Ahead of Leeds’ Cup Date at Newcastle – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 25/09/2013 | 10 comments

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Sometimes, I appear to be bang to rights on a charge frequently leveled at me by friend and foe alike: namely that I hate Man U more than I love Leeds United.  This evening’s Capital One Cup fixtures would be a case in point; an occasion when I would have to hold my hands up and say: Yes – my priorities are altered tonight.  Given a choice between Leeds progressing and the Pride of Devon getting stuffed by the Scousers at the Theatre of Hollow Myths, then I’d have to go for the latter.  I know that is base treachery and quite the opposite of the way in which I should behave – but I’m too long in the tooth and perhaps too cynical to look at things through those old, stardusty, yellow white and blue-tinted specs I used to wear.  So fine – tie me up and burn me for a heretic – but I’ll be watching Man U v Liverpool tonight, and screeching for a Reds victory (the real Reds, not the plastic variety).  I may even forget there’s a game going on at St James Park, Newcastle.

Disgusting, the average, bone-headed, blinkered fanatic will bellow at me.  Leeds first, last and foremost.  Well, I can see that point of view, but you have to be a little bit pragmatic too.  Sure, it would be nice to progress in this Cup.  I have a very good friend who supports the Toon, and I just know he’ll give me hell if they beat us.  Despite his protestations that he’s not bothered about the result and indeed that he’s jaded with all things Newcastle right now, I can tell he’s nervous about this tie.  He knows he’ll have the bragging rights if the Toon prevail, even though that’s the way it really should pan out, given the relative strengths of the two squads.  Equally he knows that I’ll make his life a misery if Leeds happen to win.  And that would be nice.  But I won’t despair if we lose – we have bigger fish to fry, after all.

Look at last season in the League Cup. Joy unconfined when we beat two Premier League clubs at Elland Road.  The bunting hung out and street parties as we celebrated a home tie against old foes Chelsea.  Ecstasy as we led 1-0 at half time – and then the sky fell in and we got murdered 5-1.  When you’re at the current level of Leeds, the happiest of Cup runs ends in tears. Bradford City know that harsh lesson even better than we do.

With Cup competitions, the best attitude is to expect the worst and welcome any better than that with open arms – but there’s no point getting too upset about it, whatever happens.  Since I’ve been a Leeds fan, I’ve seen us lose in every cup competition we’ve entered, every season, for 38 years.  You get used to the incessant disappointment, and the pain becomes more of a numbness.  Every now and then though, you reach a semi-final and the pain of defeat is more acute.  Twice we even reached a final; they were the unkindest cuts of all.

The Germans have a word for the way I feel about nights like tonight.  Schadenfreude. For those who don’t know, it means taking delight in the misfortunes of others.  Every now and then, Man U serve me up a big, tasty dollop of Schadenfreude and I’m a happy man – quite as happy as I am with the occasional victories of Leeds United.  The lads from Salford were kind enough to oblige me in this way on Sunday as they meekly got murdered by their more illustrious neighbours City from over the boundary in Manchester itself.  Joy abounded in our house; we didn’t kill the fatted calf, but we did lash out on a celebratory takeaway. On January 3rd 2010 I got both sides of the bargain – humiliating defeat for Man U as well as an unlikely win for little old third-tier Leeds as the latter visited the former and won 1-0, dispatching the favourites from the FA Cup.  A whole herd of fatted calves wouldn’t have done justice to that occasion.

My career as a football fan hasn’t had too many positive highlights – that’s just the way the cookie crumbles; if you’re going to follow your local team instead of glory-hunting like those sad, inadequate Man U fans with their deeply compensatory behaviour recalling the teachings of Sigmund Freud – then you’re going to spend most of your time dealing with disappointment.  It’s the nature of the beast.  How much better then, to have a fall-back position, psychologically speaking. That’s what I have.  Every time Leeds let me down, I have a second chance of happiness that weekend or midweek.  Often, of course, I am let down again.  I happen to despise the most undeservedly successful team of the era, so disappointment is often my portion there too – I am usually denied my helping of Schadenfreude.  But when it comes around – oh boy, do I relish it. Through the thin and thinner of being a Leeds fan, it’s been those delightful occasions of Man U misery and despair that, frequently have kept me happy and ready for more.  Otherwise I suspect I’d have given up on football long ago, much as other aging former enthusiasts have.  There is a limit, after all.

So tonight, I have two shots at happiness and satisfaction – and due to the preferences of the TV companies in these matters I shall be concentrating on the negative side of things, hoping for more Man U misery, cheering on Liverpool as they aim to knock the Gloryhunters out.  If it happens, I will be happy, whatever has happened up in Newcastle. And if Leeds happen to have pulled off a surprise against the Mighty Barcodes I shall of course be happier still.  But you have to take your satisfaction where you can, and if Man U lose tonight, they’re OUT.  If Leeds win, we’ll simply postpone our own demise in the competition, but it’ll surely come sooner or later.  So good luck to both my teams tonight, but if I have to pin my colours onto one particular champion, it’ll be the Reds of Liverpool as the enter the lists looking to cheer us all up by ending the Capital Cup involvement of Man U.

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Saudi Prince Makes Investment Move

Posted on 24/09/2013 | 7 comments

More speculation of inward investment – and another Saudi Royal!!

7 Comments

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Istanbul “Front Runner” for Euro 2020 Semis and Final – are UEFA Stark, Staring Mad? – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 24/09/2013 | 7 comments
Turkish Fans "Demonstrating Their Cultural Uniqueness"

Turkish Fans “Demonstrating Their Cultural Uniqueness”

As if eager to demonstrate once and for all that they are out-of-touch, irresponsible, lacking in judgement and foolhardy to the point of actual insanity – it would appear that UEFA are genuinely considering Istanbul as a host city for the semi-finals and final of the Euro 2020 Championships.  Our beloved FA, itself a body which has frequently demonstrated its own lack of fitness to run a piss-up in a brewery, stated today that it believes Istanbul is the “front runner” and main rival to Wembley’s own bid.  Istanbul lost out to Tokyo in its bid to host the 2020 Olympic Games, after all.  FA General Secretary Alex Horne said: “We’ve taken some soundings, there’s a sympathy for Turkey and it does feel like they are the front-runners.  We get the politics around Istanbul, having not got the Olympics.”

Demir

Demir

Well, forgive me, but I don’t “get” this at all.  Turkey has just about the most horrific history of football violence it’s possible to imagine.  Istanbul in particular is home to Galatasaray, whose fans’ party piece is to raise banners when “welcoming” visiting teams to the airport or to their bear-pit of a stadium, the banners bearing the warm and comforting message of “Welcome to Hell”.  Other touching signs of friendship and bonhomie include mimed throat-slitting actions performed en masse.  Sadly, these ugly manifestations of Turkish culture have been shown to be no mere gestures.  In the spring of 2000, two Leeds United fans – Chris Loftus and Kevin Speight – were brutally attacked and murdered in Istanbul’s Taksim Square. Ali Umit Demir and three other men were arrested for the killings, and Demir was jailed but released for retrial after a successful appeal.  When the four men first appeared in court, they were cheered by members of the public, Demir being described as a “patriot” by residents of Istanbul.

More than 13 years on, it is still unclear whether Demir will ever face an appropriate penalty for his admitted crime of stabbing Mr Loftus and Mr Speight.  Over the time since these tragic killings, fans of Turkish clubs have continued to disgrace themselves on numerous occasions with acts of violence and displays of hostility which UEFA have consistently failed to address, despite the alacrity with which they deal with lesser offences elsewhere.  It has been reported that certain UEFA officials regard knife-carrying and its concomitant perils as “part of the culture” in Turkey, and this may partly explain their casual attitude towards what goes on there – but it certainly does not excuse it.

No Leeds United fan and, for that matter, no Manchester United fan needs any instruction about the atmosphere and the dangers of following football in Istanbul. Personal experiences of fans from both clubs leave little room for doubt that it’s a place to visit and roam around in only with extreme reticence and caution.  The idea of masses of fans from different nations adding their high-spirits and nationalistic fervour to the cocktail of hatred and overt hostility which is so much a part of the fabric of Istanbul – it’s just too horrible to contemplate.  You’d have thought that even a pea-brained UEFA pen-pusher could have accumulated enough evidence, both anecdotal and empirical, to realise this.  But no.  Self-satisfaction and pompous idiocy rules in the corridors of UEFA, and they will seemingly be willing to compound their laxity of recent years in failing to deal with what has happened there, by a whole new level of crass stupidity in contemplating taking a major Championships to a murderous pit.

It is to be hoped that wiser counsel – if any should exist in the game’s higher authorities – will prevail, and some safer place will be found.  The idea of awarding the final stages of a prestigious tournament to Istanbul is a bit like inviting an arsonists’ self-help group to organise a bonfire in a petrol dump – only more so.  If the madmen of UEFA have their way in this, the consequences could be dire; you only have to ask the Man United fans ill-treated by the local police, or the Leeds fans who, heart-sick at their bereavement of the night before, turned their backs at the start of the match against Galatasaray, because that club had failed, along with UEFA, to postpone the game, or even to order that black armbands should be worn.

It may be that one day Istanbul will be a fit place for civilised football fans to visit, and maybe even for a tournament to be held. But that day is not yet, it won’t be here by 2020 and it won’t be for many more years after that.  Most sensible football fans would confirm that.  Now we just have to find a way to persuade the fools in UEFA, and in our own FA, what their own eyes and ears should have told them long ago.

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Leeds Chasing Top Gun – But Who Will Supply the Ammo? – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 23/09/2013 | 15 comments
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Striker Who??

It’s now an open secret that Leeds United have listened to manager Brian McDermott’s warnings about the lack of a prolific striker at Elland Road, and that they have heeded his words of wisdom. Now, they are prepared – so we understand – to go out and secure a goal-scorer. Such exotic beasts do not come cheap.

Speculation is rife as to who the target might be. Old-boy Becchio gets a mention, as does Leeds fan Shane Long, out in the cold at West Brom. Reading appear to covet another reputed Leeds target in Billy Sharp – could this pave the way for Adam le Fondre, known to his fans as “Alf”, to breeze into LS11?

Whoever gets the nod might be expected to make significant inroads into Leeds’ manifestly limited wages budget – unless the loaning club are willing to do the decent thing and subsidise whatever fat contract their surplus striker is on. Paying a hefty amount of wages would pose a problem for Leeds – namely, how are we going to afford a winger, if we put all our eggs in the goal-poacher basket?

Because, make no mistake, a winger – or preferably two – should be as much a priority as any striker. Our existing strikers have starved for supply for most of the season so far. Ironically, the defeat to Burnley was notable for the amount of chances created and squandered, but this has not been the story of our campaign to date. With better supply, Hunt, Varney, McCormack and even Smith might well have weighed in with more goals. Getting another striker and neglecting to address the problem of supply from wide areas would be like purchasing a lethally-efficient gun – yet economising on bullets.

If GFH have been listening to Brian’s gloomy warnings, as we keep hearing in the Twittersphere – then let’s hope we’ve heard only half the story. Let’s hope that digging deep means really deep, and that the shopping list has “two decent wingers” scrawled at the bottom of it. Otherwise, in trying to solve our goal-shortage problems, we might just be adding to them.

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Moyes Fluffing His Fergie-Lite Lines as the Mask Drops – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 23/09/2013 | 4 comments

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It sounded odd at the time. Leading up to the start of his first season at the Theatre of Hollow Myths, David Moyes chose to abandon his previous upright, downright, straightforward no-nonsense Evertonian demeanour and go for a good old-fashioned Fergie whinge with the requisite helpings of paranoia and self-righteousness. “They’re conspiring against us,” he grizzled, bitterly. “Three tough games against title contenders in the first five league outings.  It’s no’ fair.”  It was straight out of the Taggart Manual, from Chapter One: “Build a Siege Mentality”.  The thing is, however tried and trusted the lines are, you need the right kind of actor to convey them. Now that the Old Ham had gone off, could the relatively green Moyes carry on with the same old act?  Was it even such a good idea to try?

Whatever the whys and wherefores, the gambit appears to have blown up in the fledgling Man U manager’s face.  Yesterday’s humbling against Mancunian giants City was not only a salutary lesson on the field.  It also raised serious questions about the new man’s deportment off it.  On the face of it, the Moyes Whinge, as it has come to be called, looks in retrospect like a timely warning.  Of the three fixtures he was complaining about, the Pride of Devon have lost both away matches, at Liverpool and City, and gained a somewhat lucky point in a dour home struggle against Chelsea.  But the fact is that the fixtures are simply that: fixtures.  There’s a clue in the name, and while Sky may tamper slightly for TV requirements, the basic framework for the season is carved in stone.  To complain about them at the time Moyes chose to complain, and in the terms, moreover, he chose to employ in making that complaint, showed more weakness than foresight, more lack of confidence in himself and his team than lack of faith in the authorities. What message was sent out by the manager to his troops as they prepared for combat? Would they have been inspired by their leader’s belief in them?  Or would they, instead, have had a subliminal fear implanted of facing three formidable teams early in the season?  Were they, in short, afraid?

A hindsight version of the Moyes Whinge emerged this morning on the radio.  He referred again to the perceived unfairness of the fixtures arrangement.  As an exponent of psyching his team up and psyching opponents out, Fergie was tiresome, he was tedious, he was annoying and detestable in the eyes of his enemies.  But it clearly worked more often than not in the bunker that was Man U’s dressing room.  Moyes, by contrast, seemed to have waved a white flag and called for stretcher-bearers before a shot had been fired. Certain of his players, van Persie for one, are already emitting rumbles of discontent. You can imagine them asking themselves: who would we rather have as our leader as we enter the trenches?  The margins between victory and defeat are incredibly fine, one iota of backsliding by the historically dominant force, one iota of improvement in the fortunes of his enemies (the football term for “iota”, interestingly, is “Özil”) – and the tables can be well and truly turned.

It may also be that Moyes’ emergence from the comfort zone of Goodison into the fishbowl glare of the Theatre of Hollow Myths has been particularly ill-timed.  The gene-pool at the top of the Premier League appears to have expanded dramatically over the summer.  Arsenal have improved by probably more than just one Özil.  Tottenham seem to have contrived to have lost a golden nugget and replaced it with the equivalent weight in gold-dust, and to have improved in the process.  Chelsea have wound the clock back to the reign of the Special One, and you just know he will weave his magic again whilst laughing sardonically at his carping critics in the media, embittered journalists all of whose significant others are unanimous in fancying Jose.  Liverpool have looked “at it” again, despite a dip in the last two games.  Everton are unbeaten, with a new style and belief under Martinez.  The whole landscape at the top of the game has a new and, from the Man U point of view, dangerously unfamiliar look about it.

Maybe one craggy and purple-faced individual in particular foresaw this sea-change, and perhaps this explains the abruptness of his departure from the hot-seat in Salford.  There must, after all, be a significant danger that the still debt-ridden Evil Empire will finish outside of the top six this season, favourable ref decisions notwithstanding; and on that subject – what on earth happened to Howard Webb in the Derby?  He failed utterly to live up to his Man U Player of the Season form, and must now be worried about his place in the team.  Moyes has a lot on his plate, and – sallow-faced and bug-eyed compared to the smug, well-fed, puce sleekness of his tyrannical predecessor – he frankly does not look as though he has the appetite for it.

The noisy neighbours across the border in Manchester will be well aware, as they leap and cavort in celebration in the sullen faces of Manchester’s Red minority, of the problems that are stacking up for the hapless current incumbent of Salford Towers. But those happy fans will care not one jot, as is the case with thousands of other equally happy fans the country over, outside of Devon and Cornwall.  They can see golden horizons ahead, and a game reinvigorated by true competition across a well-matched group of clubs vying for the ultimate prize.  If Man U do end up outside in the cold, there will be millions who feel it’s a reckoning that’s arrived not a minute too soon.

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New Striker at Leeds “By the Weekend” – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 22/09/2013 | 27 comments

A normally reliable source has stated that Leeds United will bring a striker into the club before the weekend, with several names under consideration. This comes after strong speculation earlier in the day that free agent David Bentley (28), normally a winger, might be offered the chance to resurrect his career at Elland Road.

Strikers who have been linked with United include Southampton’s Billy Sharp, Shane Long of WBA, Ricardo Vaz Te of West Ham, Adam le Fondre of Reading, among others. Brian McDermott was the manager who signed le Fondre for Reading during his spell as manager there.

With a Capital One cup tie at Newcastle on Wednesday ahead of a trip to Millwall’s New Den at the weekend, it promises to be an interesting few days at Elland Road.

Who would you like to see brought in during the emergency loans window??

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Arsenal Celebrate a Century of North London Domination – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 22/09/2013 | 17 comments

Arse Spuds

It was one hundred years ago today that Arsenal FC, kings of North London for as long as anyone can remember, made that historic move from Woolwich to Islington.  Life in North London would never be the same again – certainly not for Tottenham Hotspur, the Gunners’ long-suffering rivals.  For that day 100 years ago was the day that Spurs stopped being the Cockerels crowing from Tottenham right across North London, and became instead permanent residents within Arsenal’s shadow.

An aggregation of Arsenal’s league record across the 20th Century – the only complete century of League football – shows that they are not only top dogs in the Capital, but arguably across the country as a whole.  The aggregated League table 1900 – 1999 puts the Gunners firmly in top place.  The whole point of a league system is a club’s placing over time, so this decisively ends the argument as to who were the top club of the last century.

Spurs had their moments in the league during the 20th century as well – but not in colour. Their last title triumph was in 1961, an age of flickering monochrome TV when JFK succeeded Eisenhower for his ill-fated US presidential term, Harold MacMillan was Prime Minister in the UK and – most notably of all – I was born.  In short, it was a bloody long time ago.  If I ever wish to emphasise what an old fogey I am, I simply mention that my eyes first opened on a world where Spurs were Champions.  People tend to get the message.

Since those far-off days of temporary Spurs supremacy, Arsenal have been Champions six times.  Even my own beloved Leeds United have won it three times for heavens sake.  To hear Tottenham described as a major club in the light of such damning statistics always seems a little bizarre.  In London and beyond, the world of colour TV, the transistor era, the space age, the digital revolution, all the many different ways that the modern era can be encapsulated – it’s all been dominated by Arsenal.  And as befits a club with a full century of ruling their own North London roost, Arsenal have done it with class.  Class and prestige are integral to the club.  The marble halls of Highbury were legendary and now Arsenal have a new world-class super-stadium, the finest in the land.

The pre-eminence of Arsenal on their own patch, and in their own 20th century, is beyond doubt.  This Centenary day then is worthy of being celebrated – and Arsenal celebrated it in typical style with a comprehensive victory over Stoke City to go top of the league again. You don’t have to be an Arsenal fan to admire them and to appreciate what they’ve done for the game as a whole.  My fondness for them is down to their class, their history, their style and the sumptuously gorgeous football they play under M. Wenger.  And perhaps also for being the only club we can beat in domestic Cup Finals…

Congratulations, Arsenal, on your hundred years in North London.  May there be another hundred to come – and much more success.  Arsenal FC are what football is all about.

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