Irresponsible Man U & Rooney Highlight Need for Salary Cap – by Rob Atkinson

Wazza's Wages

Wazza’s wages, Wazza’s life

At a time when Leeds United are sweating upon the dilatory machinations of the Football League as we all wait for a verdict on Massimo Cellino’s proposed takeover of the club, it is chillingly instructive to look at what’s currently happening with the recently-deposed leaders of English football. Leeds are aiming to leave behind them more than a decade on the breadline, an era when every penny has been counted and investment has been shockingly inadequate to support the ambitions of an ostensibly upward-looking football club.  Man U, meanwhile are operating at the other extreme of the financial and moral spectra, being seemingly eager to throw obscene amounts of money at their own unwelcome dilemma – that of being abruptly overtaken by a pack of rivals who are suddenly displaying far more in terms of pedigree and potential.

The most recent symptom of this new high-water mark of the sickness consuming the game is Mr Wayne Rooney’s newly-inflated wage packet.  A click on that link will take you to a real time clock of exactly how much the past-his-best scouser is earning – for want of a more descriptive word – after his latest reprise of the “holding a gun to your employer’s head” ploy.  Usefully, it’s a per-second measurement – but watch those figures blur round as the synthetically-hirsute one racks up his wealth at an astounding £30 per minute.  Even more usefully, there’s a direct comparison between Wazza’s Wages and the more modest earnings of a real-life hero such as a trained nurse.  Now watch those figures climb for the poor nurse, sooooo sluggishly that it’s pitiful.  You can even compare what Man U are shelling out in salary for the formerly good England striker with what it costs us all (in salary alone, not the disastrous wider economic costs) to have Mr David Camoron as unelected Prime Minister. Basically, by the time our hard-working nurse has clocked up her first 50p, the eejit at the head of the coalition has blagged an undeserved three quid, which just goes to show beyond reasonable doubt that the whole of creation has got things severely arse-about-face.

Wazza's Wages - a scientific comparison

Wazza’s Wages – a scientific comparison

But for an exercise in the truly surreal, just look at Shrek’s Salary by the time Nursey has her opening ten bob.  In that brief period, he’s trousered a jaw-dropping £300.25.  He can probably afford three tenderly conjugal sessions with a high-class Granny-for-rent with that kind of dosh. Meanwhile, our poor Florence Nightingale will not yet be able to get herself so much as a vending-machine coffee – and even everyone’s least-favourite Old Etonian would need to fiddle his expenses extensively in order to get a decent meal at the Kensington branch of McDonald’s.  No change there, then. Many thanks, by the way, to @ampp3d for the graphic illustration.

Now, the foregoing surely provides anyone’s definitive answer to “Name something so gut-wrenchingly obscene it makes your eyes and ears bleed”. But really – is Rooney himself to blame?  Well, yes – he is, a bit, isn’t he?  Certainly from a moral standpoint, anyway.  At a time when so many are being driven to food-banks in order to keep body and soul together, it’s fair to ask how the grasping Rooney can sleep of a night – surely to goodness the thought of all those hungry people out there must trouble him a little, when he thinks of his £15 million-plus a year, merely for kicking a ball around.  You might even think it’d put him off his game and make him a mere shadow of his youthful self. Well, something certainly has.

But there’s a case also for saying: if somebody’s daft enough – if they have the slack-jawed idiocy to lash out those enormous sums to a mere footballer – then it serves them right for being so dribblingly moronic, and who can blame Rooney for accepting their ill-advised largesse.  Discount all the press reports of Rooney saying in the press how glad he was to commit his future to Man U (until the next time he fancies a fifty-grand a week pay rise, that is) – discount those reports, because they might make you sick.  You would also feel quite distinctly naused when, after the first five minutes of Wazza’s first match following his little hike in salary, some fluffy TV reporter assures us all that “he’s clearly utterly committed to the cause”, or some such specious, fawning bollocks designed to make the mugs in Man U favours think they’re getting value for money.  Pay no attention to all that flim-flam – because, at the end of the day, this disgusting, evil new contract for Rooney is to be laid at nobody’s door but that of the Man U Money Men, those pallid, grey little chaps whose job it is somehow to propel a moribund leviathan back to the top of the game – sans Ferguson, the diabolical genius on whom – with his coarse bullying streak, his taste for intimidation on an industrial scale and his deeply dubious “mind game” methods – their entire two decades’ worth of tarnished glory was founded. And if you don’t believe that – just ask Graham Poll, one of the men who helped create and maintain the Evil Empire, and has recently admitted as much.

The fact is, of course that – without the departed S’ralex – it’s going to be nigh-on impossible for Man U to regain their former undeservedly-attained heights, no matter how much money they chuck at the problem.  The top four we have now – Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester’s finest, City, are just too good for the fading Pride of Devon to be able to compete – certainly under their current, cack-handed management.  The big boys are simply superior – better run, better coached and with far better squads. The damage being done by Man U’s willingness to to lash out zillions on wages and – presumably, if they’re able to attract anyone half-decent – on transfer fees, is visited upon the game as a whole, not really on the super-clubs they laughingly call “rivals”.  Because, let’s face it – Man U’s rivals now are Everton and Tottenham, who seem likely to fight it out with the ailing ex-champions for that prized Europa League spot. How are the mighty fallen, eh?  And think of the damage to their so-called prestige. What – the “Biggest Club in the World™ ” – now stop that giggling in Madrid, Milan, London and Barcelona, it’s in very poor taste – scrambling to finish fifth? The club that prides itself on its amazing youth policy, doing what it’s always bitched about City and Chelsea doing, trying to buy their way to another title??  Surely not.  How utterly, degradingly, humiliatingly shameful. But – arf, arf – how funny, too.

The thing is though, once the laughing stops, I have to turn back to my beloved Leeds United and painfully wonder – just how the hell are we ever to fight our way back to the top, where every single true Whites fan knows in his heart of hearts we belong – when the idiots currently competing with today’s elite are allowed to practice such abysmal fiscal lunacy?  £300,000 a week for a faded old relic of a Rooney?  If Leeds could have that as a wages budget for their entire squad, that’d be 20 players commanding an average 15 grand a week.  Properly managed, that’d see us soar to promotion.  But what kind of future would face us then?

As I wrote just the other day, unless we could somehow afford to lavish an extremely unwise amount of cash on a gamble for success – “living the dream”, I seem to recall it’s known as – then we’d have to settle for mediocrity as the absolute upper limit of our potential.  That’s what this mega stretching-out of wage structures is coming to mean for the majority of clubs.  It’s sickening for the supporters who have to struggle along on one fifteenth per year of what Rooney rakes in per week.  It’s in danger of alienating even Man U’s own fans, who surely can’t be plastic suckers right down to the last Cornwall-based, Sky-addicted armchair.  And it’s destroying the possibility of fair competition, upon which is predicated the whole theory of League Football – the increasingly-mythical “level playing field”.

Make no mistake about it, the bulk of “competing” clubs haven’t a hope in hell of getting anywhere near the cartel at the top, and they know it.  And, ironically, this will apply almost equally to the club who, more than most, is bringing about such an unhappy situation by sanctioning such ridiculous amounts in wages to the avaricious young men who kick a football in their name.  Man U are contributing, in large measure, to their own demise as a major force – through sheer, desperate lunacy.

So it comes to pass that, just as Leeds United appear to be on the brink of ceasing to be paupers and becoming what we would until quite recently have thought of as seriously rich – it turns out that we’re not going to be really rich after all.  Not as compared to the top four cartel.  Not even when you put them alongside the rich-but-not-good-enough likes of Man U and Spurs.  For a club like Leeds, with such a proud history, with such loyal, fanatical and long-suffering fans, the prospect of being thwarted by what is, in effect, a glass ceiling is almost too much to bear.

But it’s a dilemma too.  What do we actually want, if our dearest wishes were to be granted?  Do we ask for mega-bucks to be spent on ensuring we win the title, as Man City and Chelski have done?  Do we invest more wisely, improve our infrastructure and act patient, on the Arsenal model? God forbid that we’d just assume we have a divine right to be the biggest and the best, like that scummy lot from the Theatre of Hollow Myths, and start paying over-rated has-beens like Rooney a king’s ransom every week. Surely, anything but that.

This stupid deal, offering a stupid boy a stupid contract, on stupid money, has to act as a shrill alarm-bell for the football authorities in this country and further afield.  Elementary physics will tell you that you can inflate anything by only so much – be it a bubble, a balloon or even an ego – before it bursts and becomes just a futile waste of air.  The time is now ripe to think seriously about a salary cap.  Nothing drastic.  Nothing that will make an obscenely rich group of spoiled young athletes feel any sort of a pinch. Just a measure to ensure more equal competition between participating clubs, and thus retain the possibility that success can perhaps be achieved on merit instead of simply by those with the wherewithal to buy it. Because, ultimately, that is what the game is all about.

Nobody will listen.  Nobody will pay any heed to what is staring them malevolently in the face.  They’re all far too busy riding the gravy train, or at least clinging on tightly to the coat-tails of those in first-class.  Perhaps they think – these pallid little grey men, with their clammy hands and glistening, moist, avaricious lips – that time is still on their side.  That, by the time the gravy train derails – as it surely will – they’ll have made their pile, and it’ll be someone else’s problem.  That’s not any sort of a strategy though – it’s the road to ruin, no error.  Under such benighted, short-sighted leadership, our beautiful game will end up plummeting downhill like a greased pig.

Perhaps the Financial Fair Play rules will mitigate this disaster that’s approaching so remorselessly.  But, sadly, rich, stupid yet sly people, focused on the short term and immense personal gain, tend to pay poorer, cleverer even slyer people to sort out for them inconvenient little problems like FFP. Loopholes will be found when needed, rules will be bent as necessary, palms will be greased with lavish abandon.  The train will continue its headlong flight, until the final calamity occurs.  Rooney won’t be bothered – he’ll have his £100 million or so and all the grannies and artificial follicles his mercenary heart could desire.  It’s us, the fans, who will suffer – along with the littler people in the game, those who will be left trying to pick up the pieces after meltdown.  All of this is so gloomy, I know. But who can put their hand on their heart and tell me that it’s not true?? Please, step forward – I could use the reassurance.

I’m afraid disaster is approaching – the kind of disaster that inevitably occurs when you put incompetent and unscrupulous people in charge of vast oceans of money, and fail to incorporate any fail-safe device.  That, by the evidence of Rooney’s latest wages coup, is exactly what’s happening, exactly what will continue to happen, unless there’s some unforeseeable wising-up at the top, and a wage cap is implemented as a matter of urgency.  Perhaps the football chiefs should have a word with their counterparts at the Rugby Football League?  Do it, chaps – and take a notebook and pencil.  But you know it ain’t gonna happen, so we’re doomed.  And let’s not hark back to Leeds’ own relatively innocent financial peccadilloes at the start of this century.  That was tropical fish feed to what’s occurring now.  Honestly – three hundred grand a week??? No, let’s not cloud the issue here.  I blame Man U, because Man U are to blame.

If I can have just one wish in the face of the dark age that is sooner or later to come – then it’s simply this.  God, in your infinite mercy: please let my cherished and much-loved Leeds United – providers of England’s Last Real Champions before the start of the Murdoch Money Epoch – please let us win at least one more trophy – before it finally all goes tits-up.

The Last Champions

The Last Champions

30 responses to “Irresponsible Man U & Rooney Highlight Need for Salary Cap – by Rob Atkinson

  1. the bitterness of leeds fans gets funnier each season


    • Try to rise above your knee-jerk scumminess, and consider the point being raised. Are YOU happy that your Franchise is shelling out over £15m a year to a past-it granny-shagger??


      • speedman

        i just think its funny comming from a fan of a club who took the biggest risk ever looking for glory.


      • Keep laughing as you plummet further below the Big Four. It might ease the pain of your fall from grace – but I hope not.


      • Sooo bitter. Chelsea.. City.. PSG.. yet you cry about a club spending money theyve earned??


      • Don’t start me on how it’s been “earned”. You can always read one of my articles describing how the Pride of Devon have ruthlessly exploited the dead of Munich, though…


  2. You’re just another one of the many bloggers online that believe their own rubbish. Keep it in ya head pal or tell some City fans, just stop flooding my newsfeed with bs articles/headlines


  3. bringing up MUNICH just shows your bitterness,you ask about a proper forum yet your no better than usual scumbag forum users.


  4. Brilliant response from that scummer. Proof that we are still ‘big’.

    Anyway, my real point is that, despite the long term implications of this financial obscenity, maybe we should celebrate this as another nail in the coffin of the evil empire. The complete stupidity of lashing out £80 mil on an ageing player who has become obviously demotivated by by his personal wealth makes Peter Risdale look shrewd.


  5. Steven Kerry

    It’s a lot of money, but like it or not he’s the best player England have got and Man U would have had to spend a lot of money and wages on top to get someone as good to replace him (look how much Bale went for and i’m guessing his wages are in same ballpark) + man u can afford it given the attendances.


    • He’s nowhere near England’s best. If there was ever a case of splashing out on out of date goods, this is it. The implications for the game are frightening – how long before someone asks for – and gets – a cool million a week?


  6. Reality Cheque

    His wages are just pocket money compared to his Shrek 1, 2 & 3 royalties and he’s still trailing behind lesser morals (sorry mortals!!) and more average players such as Messi, Ronaldo and young pretender Gareth Bale none of whom have had to spend a penny of their hard earned cash on hair transplant procedures. So have some sympathy Rob, after all he is trying to rescue his team single handedly!!! LOL


  7. Hi Rob, rising above the obvious rivalry we have with our not quite Manchester neighbours, you are spot on! I have felt for a while that football is danger of destroying itself, Rooney is a mercenary who will sleep absolutely with no guilt or remorse whatsoever. Sadly though it isn’t just him, he is just the first. Interestingly in the time it took to read and then comment mr Rooney has indeed earned £600 (slow reader!! :-/) Man U fans should be worried by this, because if they ‘do a Leeds’ would Mr Rooney be happy to leave if he was 31 and no chance of the same money again? I think not!! Essay over MOT


  8. Sky have only got themselves to blame for creating this perverse situation. Rooney is a twat, but he is a twat, who unfortunately can kick a ball. You can,t argue with money, but you can stop feeding the monster. Cancel Sky or Virgin or who ever! Google this search and get free channels – “Get rid of Sky TV and save money on your television.” Let’s see how long they keep throwing our money at the greedy bastards then. Rant over for now!


  9. At least Man U Are generating their own profit, and can afford to pay these silly wages.
    Man U have always bought their way to success, taking the best players across the land, and having an excellent youth set up.
    Remember how Rio was ‘recruited’ at the World cup.
    Sir Ajax was/is an unscrupulous individual, who will be sorely missed.
    They were head and shoulders above all other clubs financially, and bought there many titles and cups.
    Now they have competition, with some their rivals losing £50million + per year to compete.
    Now that is madness.
    Players from Rooney down are grossly overpaid, and it makes you smile (sort of) when you see how poor they are!
    Look at our players at Leeds.
    How many are worth the £5000/£12,000 per week??
    Not Many!!
    Rooney is worth £5,000 per week, but his England performances perhaps £1,000 per game.
    Our lads £1,000 per game?
    Comparing this to the wages of others, it is not unreasonable.
    We are blinded by figures.
    For some reason we think that £20,000 per week, for a benchwarmer, is reasonable in the Prem’??
    The most diabolical of players turn up for training in their ‘special’ Range Rover or Porche.
    They do not even pay to watch the game!!
    We do!!


  10. Counte Of Monte Fisto

    Scum have no choice, Rooney poor though he is (I GENUINELY don’t want him playing for England we are better without him) is their best player.
    Lose him & who of a greater than mid-range talent is going to join them to play Fulham in the Europa league. Messi, Ronaldo, Ribery er no, that’s right no-one & Shrek knows this.
    Shrek spits his dummy out threatens to leave, Scum panic & cave in. But really what other choice do they have on their Liverpool circa 1995+ spiral of decline. Fall out of the top 4 & the CL gravy train, their ‘FANS’ in Asia decide Citeh are winning so de-subscribe to MUCKTV & tune in to CITEHtube, more income lost.
    Poorer players brought in, further slip behind, less income, worse players etc. Lets hope this scenario plays out to its full extent but I fear that Scums yank owners will get cold feet & sack Moyes. Perhaps even replacing him with a manager?
    That said lets enjoy the show whilst it lasts, as for Shrek a third rate player, playing for a third rate club (Yes in European terms you are) sucking badly needed funds from the coffers.
    Looking forward to summer when they whore themselves around Europe offering ever bigger sums for ever worse players. Come to Manchester the Europa league is where it’s at, mad for it!


  11. oldschoolbaby

    Sorry, but your salary cap, politics of envy, solutions just won`t work

    I may not be Florence Nightingale but I am a Registered Nurse working on the NHS frontline. I`m afraid most of my colleagues are only too keen to hand over their hard earned to global capitalism and SKY. ( the minority of us who grow their own, use the local butcher, switch lights off, recycle diligently and own antiquated mobiles are considered to be a little weird ) These beasts will thrive until you stop feeding them. Shrek will take every penny without a thought for the working class community he left behind. Greed transcends class and invariably it is the socialists who are more attracted to the champagne



  12. This granny shaggin tosser will show his true worth this summer , there isn’t a football fan out there who doesn’t know that he’ll fail in Brazil , and when he fails he’ll get his plastic wig in a twist and blame the fans once again for not supporting the team …
    Over a million pound a month is a disgusting ammount of money and as you say rob it won’t be long before we have the million pound a week footballer and this can only end in tears, the scum fans can talk all they want about our financial meltdown , but that’s the point it was OUR meltdown , what the scum are doing will one day cause every club to meltdown


  13. Yes, I agree. I think it’s a great shame that you want Leeds to turn into the same kind of club as MU, with the same kind of players, and think that a criminal who’s already spent 20+ years running another club into the ground will get you there.


    • Beggars can’t be choosers John.
      I have no problem with Man U or any other Prem club.
      We are hardy souls at Leeds, and have put up with a lot more than most clubs this last 10 years.
      The loyalty of Leeds fans outshines any other club, in any league.
      It’s all about expectation. Ours is the hope that we can get a decent owner, and a team who can play football and get us promotion.
      Man U expect top 4 at the very least.
      Without Sir Alex’s ‘rod of iron’ it will be very difficult to achieve, against clubs who can compete for the best players in the world.
      Players who are multi-millionaires are almost impossible to manage.
      They cannot lose, and will do what they want.
      Sir Alex could stamp on this and did.
      Now everything has changed, and it will be interesting to see how loyal your fans are?
      There is always a hard core of fans, who will stand by the club – no matter what, but there are a large % who soon drift away.
      I have mixed feelings about the Prem’ and SKY influence and bull’.
      I know we need to be there, but I would hate to watch a team full of foreigners, who don’t give a damn about the club they play for!!!


  14. “Shadenfreude” comes to mind, and because it’s “them” I do enjoy their discomfort and impending financial ruin. You’re right though Rob, we are ALL affected by the Sky-sponsored madness. Viv Nicholson was more careful with her money, and we all know it’s very easy to be generous with someone else’s.
    Viv’s star burned brightly for a short time, but it all ended in tears.


  15. Well rob, the scum had a Greek tragedy, I can see now why they pay thier players what they do , NOT


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