Live TV Incentive for Huddersfield Town’s Cup Final – by Rob Atkinson

Huddersfield fans - a different breed

Huddersfield fans – a different breed

Excitement levels were rising today in the avenues, alleyways, streets and kennels of Huddersfield, with the news that their seasonal Cup Final against the club they’re utterly obsessed with, big brother from down the road, Leeds United, will be televised live by the Sky cameras.

Local boy Jack Russell was almost beside himself with gleeful anticipation as he gave his reaction to the momentous news. “It’s momentous news, this,” he yapped eagerly. “We have a bone to pick with Leeds after their two lucky wins against us last season. And it’s a bone that I’m off to dig up right now,” he added, before scampering off to cock his leg against the gas-lit street-lamp outside his owner’s ramshackle two-up, two-down.

Elsewhere, anticipation reached fever pitch amid a positive orgy of excited yelping and bottom-sniffing. The dark, satanic charity shops of West Yorkshire‘s most 19th Century spot were being stocked with Big Match merchandise: Town v Leeds collars, baskets and feeding bowls were flying out of the door as trade became brisk a few short hours after the news broke that the locals’ Cup Final would indeed be screened before the whole nation.

Huddersfield fans have mixed feelings about the comparatively long wait for their season’s high-point; the match does not take place until November 7th, with a lunchtime kick-off. But the feeling among the majority is that the league games leading up to the Final will enable Town to prepare adequately for a challenge they failed to meet twice last season. “It’s not abart results in t’other games afore t’Coop Final,” insisted local character Al Sation. “It’s all abart t’proper preparation, like, cos t’most impooortant thing is to beat Leeds, or at least gerra draw, or at t’very least keep it darn under three this time.”

Meanwhile, large areas of Huddersfield are expected to subscribe to mains electricity for the first time, in order to be able to use their new Sky TV subscriptions for The Big Day. Others have stated that they don’t hold with such new-fangled nonsense, and will attempt instead to run reconditioned Sky HD boxes off the gas supply or perhaps by steam. “If we gerrall this leccy nonsense tekkin’ a foot’old in t’Tarn, it’ll be t’beginning o’ t’end,” barked octogenarian rat-catcher Fred Bassett. “T’place’d go to t’dogs. Not that that’s a bad thing, tha knos…”

Leeds fans groups declined to comment specifically on the Huddersfield game, merely expressing mild surprise that the local derby against Sheffield Wendies had not been selected for live coverage. “We’re that used to being on the box,” said one world-weary Whites fan. “It’s getting to the point that we’re always on – but I suppose it is nice for the smaller clubs to have their time in the spotlight. Even Huddersfield!”, he added, chortling merrily.

The Leeds game will, in fact, be Huddersfield’s second live TV date of the season, in addition to Wolves away in October. But the John Smith’s Stadium outfit have admitted that the trip to Wanderers will now be treated as just another warm-up game in preparation for the real thing. Talk of fixtures against Leeds being treated as Cup Finals has long been a bone of contention among Terriers fans – but it certainly remains the case that this is the fixture that means more to them than any other. The televised Leeds game is set to gain the highest viewing figures of any TV event among Huddersfield viewers – with the possible exception of Crufts.

39 responses to “Live TV Incentive for Huddersfield Town’s Cup Final – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Hilarious Rob but then again you do have pedigree chum


  2. Oh dear Rob thanks a bunch! I laughed so much I actually poo’d myself – and that’s not good in a thong and mini-skirt combo.


  3. Paul Marsh

    Absolutely priceless Rob!Brightened my day up no end!


  4. Very funny Rob and totally spot on. The day after the new fixtures were released, their local paper had huge back-page headlines, about their cup final dates against “bitter rivals” Leeds, as they strangely described us.
    That’s the only fixture that they care about and they seem to care more about Leeds’s business, than they do about their own non-newsworthy football club.
    They were all very, very upset, not to be given the three points from the abandoned Blackpool game, because they thought that finishing above Leeds, by one point, would be their achievement of a lifetime, for the first time since television was invented !


  5. The return of sniffers shorts

    Howling at the moon lets get this party started …. Hope not to be crying in ma beer keep em coming robster


  6. Baxter, Peter

    Some people may think thee barking mad but to be fair its just a case of Leeds being a different pedigree to the Mutts down the road-maybe against them we should be wearing advertising on the shirt-Winalot leaps to mind after last seasons efforts-—Good read Rob—


  7. OUR Cup Final? I thought that was the game at YOUR ground? You know, the one that sells out but we only get 2000 tickets. So who gets all the others? Whose Cup Final is that then? Hmmmm …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Our only cup finals are for actual cups.


    • You mean the 2000 tickets you get and can’t sell and bleat on its because of the high prices we sell them at …. News for you doggy lover , we pay inflated prices at most grounds we go as we’re always an A catagory game……. Tell ya somat else , it ain’t our cup final we just love putting you in your place….. Now go find ya lead it’s time for walkies. M.O.T


    • Thats’ s funny terriersfan…. three consecutive championships all in black and white and decades before you were born and you have the nerve to say we’ve not won owt for over a decade . Hardly an argument is it ? …….. As for what have we won ? plenty ! Too long to list . Europe too .Have you ever been to watch your team play the llikes of barca , real madrid , inter milan , lazio etc etc at your rugby stadium and get to a European cup final plus a champions league semi final. Ermmmm think you’ll find thats a no then. uddersfailed tin pot club , tin pot trophies. Enjoy your season fighting the drop and dreaming of beating the mighty Leeds. Ha ha M.O.T


  8. Peter Baxter

    2000 does seem excessive–still the fact that the majority of the 2000 share a common surname and all live within 15 streets of each other and walk there pooches at the same time on the same piece of wasteland means at least they are organised for there cup final–


  9. So Huddersfield have two matches on telly by 7th November (And that’s only because the second one involves us). Leeds United have four IN AUGUST.
    Surely the dog botherers aren’t STILL claiming the “biggest club” tag?


  10. Devil in Red

    Will Rob ever realise that this obsession with this local rival shows him to be insecure and fearful. Perhaps this is because he will never be able to truly get to enjoy real competition with the famous club who play in red at the other side of the pennies.
    So Rob, enjoy your ‘Cup Finals’ against the Terriers, you may even win one of them occasionally.


    • Not sure why you’ve included a reference to Liverpool in there as you’re clearly a scum fan. Perhaps all that Devon clotted cream has gone to your head?

      FYI – Leeds won both games against the poor relations last season, and we’re indisputably the top club in our county. Your adopted team isn’t even top of its own city – unless you admit you’re not mancunian but a set of Salford scallies 😆


      • Devil in Red

        I was miles off the mark there then Rob. Sorry!
        Just checked Huddersfield V Leeds match history…. and you’re right, I am from Devon, and I do have an armchair affiliation to the scum. Bang to rights, I guess.


      • It’s good to be the King 😎


  11. Proud to be a Terrier

    Always amuses me that Leeds still think they are a “Big” club,they remind me of Portsmouth a few years ago,same financial mess,bunch of crazies for fans and a very average football team..let’s see what headlines Leeds can generate this year…last year was great reading,so who does own Leeds ?the latest embarrassment in Europe sums it up really.Football hooliganism ?In the ground ?Pathetic.
    Portsmouth thought they were too big a club to be playing in the lower divisions ,let’s see what mess Leeds can get themselves into this year..
    Very funny article by the way.


    • Last year made great reading for you did it? You finished below us yet again – when did you last top us for a League finish? When Noah was a lad, I reckon. And we thrashed you at Elland Road before completing a double at your Meccano stadium. If that’s your idea of great reading, I can only assume you’re a bit of a masochist.


    • Proud to be a terrier you fail to realise that Leeds are not a big club we are massive ! We are hated the length and breadth of the country by supporters of clubs that may have only played us on a few occasions. It’s a fashion statement these days as you all sing we all hate Leeds scum , love it . We’re not famous anymore ! Really ??? … I for one am proud we are recognied by so many . The more they hate us the stronger our support is . Siege mentality and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Makes me laugh when our 50 odd coaches roll through the likes of your little towns and everone comes out to stare in disbelief and get out their mobiles to record the time Leeds were in town….. We have had a few mediocra seasons granted and to say we’re a very average football team we always finish above you. Says a lot for your poxy club. As for the crowd trouble in Europe pre season if you bothered to listen to the reports you’d realise the frankfurt ultras kicked it all off but then you’d not wanna hear that would you. Every club has it’s undesirables . Its just our club has a much bigger fan base than clubs such as tiny uddersfailed . M.O.T


  12. Rob why do scummers ,ie Devon red (oops sorry meant devil red ) come on here just to make stupid comments about games that don’t concern them. Nothing better to do ,must be raining in Bodmin today .p.s My jack Russell can’t wait for the game .


  13. 50 foot high women v sniffershorts rated B

    ooo ekk ya made laff …what comes to roost with them Devon slags eh


  14. witty article and made me smile (even though i’m a town fan)…..comments not so witty!!


    • You’re a gentleman, sir. The rationale of many other Terriers fans appears to be: Rob’s written a satirical article poking fun at Town’s Leeds United obsession. Ergo, Rob is obsessed with Huddersfield. Sigh. It’s grim up north.


  15. Terry 'Mad Dog' Terrier

    Typical arrogant Leeds fan, blah, blah, blah.

    (Cont. P.94)


    • All that effort to make a Meisterwerk of a comment – all in vain. I love how rattled dog-botherers assume they have a right of reply here and so proceed to pen a long-winded tantrum. The harsh reality is, of course, that you have no rights at all – you’re just comedy fodder.

      It’s good to be the King 😎


  16. Having gone to school,worked there for a few years and even lived there with my ex wife i can say them comments are CORRECT Rob,whatever the hounds are barking about in your article. Thankfully,i’m not from Huddersfield and left the sorry place for my hometown 7 years ago. What a hole and their fans ARE obsessed with Leeds. I used to get many a filthy look wearing my Leeds shirts in the dog pound (town) centre! If you look at their players how many can you name ofhand? Wells maybe. Even their rugby coach and chairman are always begging more people to show up at the empty meccano stadium. Sad town!
    Ps. My crabby old dog neighbour is a rabid Hudds fan hope we thrash them again!


  17. Thanks Rob. This is the best Leeds blog on the net. I live in Brighouse,which doesn’t have a team so i allied myself with Leeds from an early age. Me and my schoolfriend went to see the Revie team as young kids and that was it! I was working in Elland and a man stopped by selling air conditioning i think it was. My **** of a foreman said keep working as i wanted to say hi. The guy was Allan Clarke!


  18. Back in your kennel Terry. It’s pure jealousy,which is why there are so many plastic scum fans. They can’t stand to support a team that never wins anything. At least we have,even if it’s way back.


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