Huddersfield to Add Fourth Star to Badge After Leeds Miracle   –   by Rob Atkinson



Huddersfield Town fans suddenly have more to look forward to than Championship play-off defeat. In the wake of what their educated fans – a select band of three genetic abnormalities from Slaithwaite – are referring to as the club’s annus mirabilis, the Terriers are to add a fourth star to the club badge, in recognition of Town’s greatest achievement of the last ninety years.

The three existing stars refer to a hat-trick of League Title triumphs in the 1920s, which had represented the high water mark of Town’s achievements up until this year – when they surpassed all previous attainments by actually managing to finish higher in the league than Leeds United, something that hadn’t happened for 56 years, before anyone outside of Beeston or Turin had actually heard of Leeds.

It had been thought that, should the Terriers ever actually climb the mountain and finally manage such a frankly unlikely feat, the club would disband for lack of any realistic targets beyond this, their Holy Grail. But it seems that, after all, the club will keep going – with play-off defeat practically certain to mean a renewal of their Elland Road-based obsession next season.

Terriers supporters chief, Mr. Cyril D. Ogbotherer, was emphatic in his praise of Town’s historic achievement: “It’s grand, just grand,” he declared, misty eyed and glossy of coat. “It’ll perk up this place like a dose of Bob Martins, this will. By! Finishin’ aboove Leeds! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, bah GOOM!!”

An open-top tram ride is planned, and Pathé Newsreels have agreed to add highlights of this campaign to their Magic Lantern special, commemorating Huddersfield’s champions of between the wars. The addition of the fourth star to the badge is proving slightly problematic, as supporters feel it should be a lot bigger than the other three, to reflect the relative scale of the achievement. The issue is to be decided either by a show of paws, the loudest bark – or by using a special “Wag-o-Meter”, at the next full board meeting.

Herr David Wagner, 46, ist einer schrecklicher Kartoffelkopf.

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12 responses to “Huddersfield to Add Fourth Star to Badge After Leeds Miracle   –   by Rob Atkinson

  1. They’re already yapping about winning the play-offs,an achievement likely to go to the only proper team in it,Fulham. Amid barking and wagging of tails they howl deleriously at our last minute fall off to 7th,but we shall see who is barking mad next season when we play them again huh? I lived in Huddersfield for twenty years,another reason i’m glad i got rid of my ex wife in her hometown. When they get kicked out it’ll be ruff justice ! If i’m wrong and they miraculously go up,i’m sure they’ll enjoy their one season of appaws!

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  2. Given the choice, promotion and Cellino? Or miss out and we are rid of the guy for good? No brainer. That’s our big bonus for what’s turned out to be a brilliant season.
    As for Town?. Be careful. Remember Colchester? Sunderland?
    Anyway, no matter which way you cut it, they will never ever be a bigger or better or famous club than Leeds. They will eat humble pie eventually. This is just a blip. Let’s the mugs have their bit of glory.

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  3. I saw Fulham absolutely destroy Newcastle a while back and unless we beat Wigan 14-0 and fulham lose tomorrow they’ll be the 3rd team to go up. I must admit that this “brilliant” season has almost surpassed 74 and 92 too,unbelievable. Anyway,Jeff stelling got his comeuppance today,that’ll teach him to jump up and down when we concede.

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  4. Duncan Massive

    FOUR stars? Does that men they’re allowed to serve fries?

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  5. That’s really sad. What is it with HT fans? They are so desperate to be ‘famous’. Sadly being IN the premiership, isn’t the same as winning it and no amount of stars will ever replace winning the FA cup and League Cup. The only cup final Huddersfield ever win is the odd annual one against Leeds. Oh lordy! They’ve finished above us once in 50-odd years! What a celebration they must be having. Imagine if they actually ever managed to WIN something – wouldn’t that be something??! Instead of stars they should just change the motto to read ‘bitter as f*ck’. If a miracle did happen and they went up, what would they do without their two cup finals against us?

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  6. Return of sniffershorts

    Badges badges we don’t want their stinking badges ….. Only one team going up one F in Fulham for my dear old dad bless RIP, uvver than that me ald cockney sparra it’s white shotgun for Cellino , and we hope and pray Radz is the new messiah or will it be chants of he is a very naughty boy, and I will be spiting my face for my very big nose, who you calling ‘big nose’. Would love to fink Wednesday would put a few past Fulham and we score a dozen or so, but it ain’t gonna happen. So Radz hands in deep pockets please, sign those you need to , get rid of those you need to. I really dislike the German with his silly marching and I want to see the smile wiped of his face , and for him to face us as tut Phoenix risen next term, with a rather good spanking, ooh spanking can I be spanked, let’s not go to Camelot its a rather silly place, lets be going to the promised land our lad. MOT ALAW

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