Tag Archives: lies

‘Goals Pay the Rent’ and Leeds United Are Well in Arrears   –   by Rob Atkinson

Doukara Bristol

Doukara scores against Bristol City – one of four Leeds goals this year

The New Year of 2016 dawned with that familiar feeling for Leeds United fans of high hopes that we more than half expected to be dashed. December had been OK, and we had been promised an active January transfer window to add some quality to the squad. So, despite that dash of caution and reserve which comes with having been lied to so often before, many United fans felt something approaching optimism as the old year took its last feeble gasps.

Needless to say, it turned out that the caution, reserve – even cynicism – was fully justified, and that any apparent cause for optimism was just another mirage; all promise and no substance. Additions were made to the squad, and one big departure occurred, as is almost traditional for Leeds at this time of year. The new recruits look decent, which might be expected with a manager who, unlike certain of his predecessors, seems to have an eye for a good player. There were two loans and one actual bought-and-paid-for signing but, crucially, we missed out on any real injection of quality in the creative areas of the team. For it is goals, the making and scoring thereof, that have long been a thorny problem for this Leeds United team.

A glance at the time since that half-decent December shows starkly the level of poverty the team and the fans are struggling through in terms of that goalden currency you earn by hitting the back of the net. Those of a delicate disposition might wish to look away, as we squeamishly examine the team’s league output since the start of January. It’s a worthwhile exercise, though, nevertheless. As David Coleman memorably remarked when Kevin Keegan scored during Liverpool’s 1974 Cup Final demolition of Newcastle United, “Goals pay the rent“. Leeds won the League title that year, beating the Merseysiders into second place. There were no rent arrears for the Whites back then, in what was a season of glory for Yorkshire and England’s premier team. But Coleman’s pearl of wisdom is as true today as it was 42 years ago.

And how those famous words resonate for us now. In the seven league games since the turn of the year, four at home and three away, Leeds United have scored a grand total of four goals, one a bizarre last-minute own-goal to secure a home draw against MK Dons. Souleymane Doukara scored early against Ipswich before Leeds slipped to a 2-1 defeat and he scored again at Elland Road to beat Bristol City. And Mustapha Carayol notched one to hold Brentford to a draw at Griffin Park. And that was it, the sum total of the Leeds offensive output since this year began. The last two home games have yielded zero goals in over three hours of playing time. In a goalless draw with Middlesbrough that didn’t entirely lack merit, Leeds mustered two shots on target. In the previous home game, a 0-1 defeat to Nottingham Forest, Leeds did twice as well in terms of shots on goal, but still failed, as they say, to trouble the scorers. That’s quite frankly not good enough; it’s a record that screams out for corrective surgery to the squad. 

This is why the January window was so disappointing and represents so much of a missed opportunity. With injuries to key personnel up front and the loss of Sam Byram‘s considerable potential to create and convert chances, it was obvious to any observer with any football knowledge at all that attacking reinforcements were needed. And it wasn’t just a matter of a late push for the play-offs. Relegation cannot yet be entirely ruled out – and there is also the small matter of allowing the manager to recruit and “bed-in” his own players over the remainder of this season, with the aim of hitting the ground running for pre-season 2016-17. The fact that January was all about lying to us, and then trying to let us down gently, is a savage indictment of the man who holds the purse strings at Elland Road. And, whatever Steve Evans might say with his diplomatic head on, he was clearly champing at the bit to add to his squad – and he’s obviously a disappointed man now that even the loan window looks like bearing no fruit.

I wrote a month ago that Cellino deserved to be judged on his commitment to improving the squad during the January window. Now I say that he palpably failed that test. Leeds United fans must make up their own minds about the likelihood or otherwise of sufficient investment in quality during the summer to come. This blog fears that it may yet be just another window of opportunity wasted in “managing our expectations” – which is the euphemism of choice for lying to us a bit more.

One thing that seems certain is that, if he is not given a fair shot in the transfer market, then Steve Evans is a dead man walking at Leeds. Some may welcome that – I think it’s rather a shame. There’s a decent manager there, working under the usual difficulties at Massimo Cellino‘s Leeds, and a man who seems a sound judge of the type of player needed to succeed at Elland Road. It’s to be hoped that Evans survives and is able to make a convincing case for substantial levels of investment.

Because another thing that seems certain is that – without significant improvement – our beloved club will face another long, bleak season of struggle next season, and with no guarantee of Championship survival. Whether the owner will be making yet another hollow promise about a “beautiful season ahead” or not is largely irrelevant. Most of us, after all, are attuned to Cellino’s lies and hollow promises.

We also know, deep down, that – depressing and difficult as this season has been – next time around might just be harder still. 

Mirror Reports Brazilian International is Latest to Quit Leeds – by Rob Atkinson

Brazilian midfield genius Embargo - leaving Leeds

Brazilian midfield genius Embargo – leaving Leeds

In yet another Elland Road exclusive, the Mirror can disclose that the latest high-profile star to turn his back on the troubled West Yorkshire giants is expected finally to depart the club today.

Your Sensational Soaraway Mirror (Ed: is this soaraway thing OK, or is it already in use??) has been keeping a close eye on developments at Leeds over the past few months, and has been able to keep their long-suffering fans up to date with what is rapidly becoming a summer of humiliation for the once-mighty “Lilywhites” (check if this is actually Leeds, or just Spurs or someone – Ed.)

Only yesterday, we reported the latest in a series of embarrassing cost-cutting measures, with players being required to bring packed lunches, wash their own kit, pay to train and hire the stadium for home matches whilst coughing up for travel and overnight stays on away trips. Your ever-reliable Mirror* has also charted the inevitable departures from the club, faithfully reporting the exit of Ross McCormack to Newcastle, Norwich and Fulham for a fee of £6m, £8m and ten MILLION pounds.

Now, in the most worrying development yet, the Mirror understands that the transfer of Embargo, a tricky Brazilian international playmaker, is set to be confirmed today, in the latest shattering blow to the crisis-torn club’s already slender hopes for the coming season. The burning question is: how much more are the worried fans of Leeds United actually prepared to take??  (Ed: could we stretch this to a double-page feature – really take the piss? Who is this Embargo anyway, has he figured in the World Cup??)

With the loss of Embargo, the Leeds midfield options look to be severely limited. In an interview which took place yesterday in the head of our Chief Sportswriter, Oliver Scum, ex-Leeds star Eddie Lorimer stated: “It’s ridiculous. We were going to build a team around Embargo, and now he’s going – and we’re not even being told where.” (Ed: maybe ditch this bit and make up a Norwich connection??)

Whatever the outcome of this summer’s wheeling and dealing, it seems certain that, for Leeds United – shorn of their world-class, globally celebrated Brazilian midfield genius Embargo (Ed: steady on, old boy – we don’t even know who he is yet) – this is going to be a long, hard season, culminating in relegation, bankruptcy, administration and flats being built on the site of a demolished Elland Road. (Like it, like it!! – Ed.)

Yes, it’s party time at the Mirror. Help us celebrate folks – buy tomorrow’s paper with its 28-page pullout on “The Death of Leeds United”. Yippee!!!!

* Mirror: means of seeing everything back-to-front and the wrong way round.

Relief for Leeds Fans as The Sun Fabricates “Ross Wants Out” Story – by Rob Atkinson

The gutter end of the Fourth Estate are after us again

The gutter end of the Fourth Estate are after us again

Summertime is always a tense part of the calendar for the long-suffering fans of Leeds United – rivalled only by the January transfer window, as we wait in uncomfortable anticipation for the identity of the next star to be sold for a song.  That’s the way it’s been for a good – well, bad – few years now.  It remains to be seen whether things will be substantially different under the reign of il Duce Massimo Cellino.

Clearly, this year’s speculation was inevitably going to surround Ross McCormack.  Top scorer last time around and always first in line to wear his heart on his sleeve when it came to confirming his love for and commitment to Leeds United, McCormack is the jewel in the crown for club and fans.  Such a player is bound to be marked down by the rutting hogs of Fleet Street as the Number One target for their idle speculation, scare stories, made-up rumours and downright lies as they set about their task of appealing to the Leeds-hating majority of their readership.  The lower you go into the gutter, the higher the proportion of Leeds-haters there will be among the buyers of whichever toilet roll you’re talking about – and at the very bottom of the sewer, beneath even the excrement and detritus that is the Mirror, the Mail and the Express, there you will find the Sun and the Sport, rotting away in a noisome mulch of their own writing.

So it’s a big relief when one of these illiterate rags comes out with a clearly made-up story.  Such a one, you can bet your bottom dollar, is Simon Austin’s pisspoor effort today in the Sun.  No sources are quoted – unsurprisingly.  The whole thing stinks of a speculative effort which the hack concerned will quietly forget about when it’s proved wrong.  Austin is merely doing his masters’ bidding in an effort to thrill the anti-Leeds brigade out there – all in the interests of selling more copies.  This commercial prime mover, the need to sell, sell, sell, has always ranked for the Sun and similar toilet papers, far, far above any such considerations as factual reportage and journalistic integrity.  The net effect of all this is that anyone who hates Leeds United will get another cheap if temporary thrill – and anybody with the individualism, originality and sheer good taste to love the club will breathe a sigh of satisfaction and murmur to themselves “It’s in the Sun, so it must be bollocks”.

Similarly, today has brought a couple of snide little reports in the Sport and the Mirror – further examples of the very worst of the British press –  about the Leeds players bringing packed lunches in to training.  Here, it’s the crafty implications of penury that are offensive, not so much any factual inaccuracy.  It’s Fleet Street acting as a purveyor of anti-LUFC propaganda that irritates. The thought of booze-sodden hacks having a chortle over this sort of thing is annoying – but again, it’s merely a sign that they’re doing their level best to paint as negative a picture as possible of a club that it’s firmly in their commercial interests to be seen hating.  It’s a gutter press thing, a talentless hack thing – it should be regarded as natural in terms of what happens all the time at the very bottom of any cess-pit.  The particularly disappointing aspect is that certain internet outlets, who should know better, pick up these myths and recycle them as fact

The moral, of course, is to avoid all of the bog-roll tabloids, or – at the very least – to take their lies merely as confirmation that there’s nothing to worry about as yet. More reliable information is usually available from the better-informed blogs of several clubs, from players’ Twitter feeds, from the so-called “quality” press (some of them) – or even (occasionally) from Leeds United itself.  The local press also provides an option that is almost respectable as compared to the mendacious hacks who peddle their lies for the gutter-end of the national press.

For the time being, then, there is no cause for alarm.  The Sun says that Ross wants out; so we can be tolerably certain that – at present – he’s looking forward to another season of stand-out performances in the white shirt of Leeds United.


Leeds-Hating Gutter Press Step Up Campaign to Sell Ross McCormack – by Rob Atkinson

Daily Heil - one of the gutter brigade

Daily Heil – one of the gutter brigade

The crappier end of the press in this country can be very, very predictable indeed when it comes to their coverage of Leeds United.  I’m talking here particularly about the likes of the Mirror, the Mail (or the Daily Heil, as it’s colloquially known) and the Express – and then even a step lower than these diseased organs, down to the trash comics like the Sun and the Star.  Even the so-called “quality” papers can be relied upon, more often than not, to print rubbish about the Whites of Elland Road.  They hear the song that echoes around football grounds everywhere whenever a game of professional football is played in this country. They know from this that there’s a lot of clueless individuals out there who “all hate Leeds scum” – without knowing why, beyond the fact that their dads did too, back in the long-ago sixties and seventies.  They know that this Leeds-hating, brainless yet massive constituency forms a significant market, and they’re ready and willing to pander to it – as this will sell thousands more copies of their grubby rags.  It’s not big and it’s not clever – but it is lucrative.  And really – why let a few scruples get in the way of the bottom line?

So, in the interests of satisfying their Leeds-hating mass-market, the papers will have no hesitation in printing any old rubbish that might stir things up or cause upset around LS11 – anything they can fabricate or indiscriminately recycle to unsettle things at Elland Road is grist to their less-than-choosy mill.  Sometimes this will take the form of bare-faced lies – one outstanding rag the other week claimed that, if Massimo Cellino’s appeal against his tax evasion verdict were to fail, he would probably go to jail – and sometimes it’s just a matter of making something up and running with that.  For this latter category, the hack concerned will normally look at the best player Leeds currently have and write some illiterate piece linking that player with one of the last clubs Leeds fans would wish to see him leave for.  This is done with the aim of making the player restless if possible, irritating the Leeds fans and pleasing their army of anti-Leeds readers.

At its worst, this type of sleazy journalism can amount to illegal approaches from interested clubs with the media concerned acting as a conduit.  It’s not confined to the printed press either.  In January, Sky TV got ever so hot and bothered on deadline night, when the furore of McDermott’s abortive sacking developed into a feeding frenzy over Ross McCormack’s immediate future. With literally only a few hours of the window to go, Sky went into overdrive, doing their level best to generate interest from the likes of Cardiff and speculating frantically that the player would be making an urgent transfer request and heading off back to the Valleys.  There was genuine excitement and eagerness at Sky HQ – and a palpable grief and disappointment amounting to actual sulkiness, when nothing happened after all.

Now, we have the fag-end of the season to go; those last few games with not a lot hanging on them for Leeds, not a lot for the lazy hacks who masquerade as journalists to exercise their poison pens over.  So, we start with the traditional “let’s whip up some transfer interest in their best player” nonsense – and all of a sudden, our Ross44 is linked with the likes of Leicester and West Ham and sundry other smaller clubs.  It’s calculated to annoy and to disrupt – but we should bear in mind that, from all we now understand, transfer policy in these Cellino days will be advised by what is best for the club first and foremost – not by any desperate need for money and not by a willingness to pander to a player’s own whim.  The fact of the matter is that, for every transfer “story” in the gutter press that actually comes to be, there are perhaps 19 that never had even a whiff of truth about them, and which end up being far more useful as the wrappings of choice for those who love fish and chips.

It’s all part of being Leeds, after all.  We don’t need to foster a siege mentality at this club – it arises naturally because there is a state of siege as far as the rest of football and the assembled media are concerned.   And that’s annoying and sometimes even a bit upsetting – but really – would we have it any other way? Would we rather be a Man U, fawned over by a media which is comprised of liars, cheats and sycophants?  Not really.  It’s better to be Leeds, and to know exactly where we stand in relation to our enemies out there. We just have to remember: don’t believe everything they put in the papers. Or, in our case – disbelieve just about everything.

At least that way we’ll be nearer the truth.

Right-Wing Lie-Blog the “Daily Bale” reports: “Pub Owners ban British Soldiers” (It’s just Lies, Lies, Lies, folks)

Right-Wing Lie-Blog the “Daily Bale” reports: “Pub Owners ban British Soldiers” (It’s just Lies, Lies, Lies, folks)

The article reblogged here first appeared on the right-wing “Daily Bale” blog, with the clear intention of stirring up hatred and resentment towards ethnic minority populations. The Daily Bale in its “about us” section promises “through self-relief and determination” (?) to fight what it calls “left-wing evil”. In practice, this clearly means making up scurrilous stories – as in the article reluctantly reproduced here – in an effort to seduce people to their narrow-minded and bigoted way of thinking.

If you need proof that this story is faked, have a glance at an article from a real news outlet, the Knutsford Guardian, which uses the identical picture that the lying Daily Bale have used to illustrate their fabricated story.

As ever, the liars on the right will resort to any level of deceit, no matter how low, in order to pursue their own sick agenda. This “Daily Bale” is a typical sewer-outlet for this bile, full of lies and misleading information, their conclusions based on nothing, their intent to create hate and hostility towards British citizens who have committed the ultimate sin in the eyes of these fascists – they have a different colour skin.


How to Wage a War Upon the Poor

This is taken from a “Guardian” comments page – I reproduce it here without comment, as I believe it speaks for itself and needs to be shared as widely as possible – particularly after Gideon Osborne’s attempted snow-job yesterday, and Anne Widdecombe’s appalling hypocrisy and opportunism in her linking of the foul deeds of Mick Philpott to the Welfare State – so please try to get it out there:

Probably the most disgusting thing about this coalition has been their propaganda war against the most disadvantaged people in society. By the deliberate spreading of lies, they have facilitated a systematic assault upon the poor, the sick and the disabled. And they have knowingly misled the public for one simple reason, to enable them to totally dismantle the welfare state.
There are lies, damned lies, and then there are lying Tory bastards.
The welfare state has led to a ‘something for nothing’ culture?
It may be utterly repugnant to hear millionaire politicians who have never worked a day in their life telling us that they are ending the ‘something for nothing culture’, but it’s also utter bollocks. Only 2.5% of the total welfare budget of £200 billion actually goes on unemployment, whilst the vast majority of unemployed claimants have worked, and paid taxes, for years and are now on benefits due to redundancy, sickness, disability or having to care for someone. Millions more are receiving benefits due to poverty wages. The Welfare state is actually a massive state subsidy to business which enables it to pay poverty wages and charge exorbitant rents.
Living on benefits is a lifestyle choice?
Only 0.1% of benefit claimants who have claimed for 10 years or more are actually unemployed. Less than 5,000 people, out of over 9 million 16-64 year olds who don’t work, have been on Job Seekers Allowance for more than 5 years. Less than 0.1% of the 20 million working age households have 2 generations that have never had a permanent job. Despite strenuous efforts, researchers have been unable to find any families where three generations have never worked.
People won’t work because benefits are too high?
In 1971, JSA equalled 20.9% of the average wage. Today, it is worth 10.9%. These people are living in poverty. There are 8.5 million people receiving benefits in this country. There are more people IN WORK who get benefits than not working. The majority of all housing benefit claimants are IN WORK. 6.1 million people classed as living in poverty are from households IN WORK.
People on housing benefit live in mansions?
Our newspapers continuously bombard us with these stories. There are around five million claimants of Housing Benefit; of which there were five families who received over £100,000 per year, all living in central London. The average award of Housing Benefit is approximately £85 a week. Only 3% of families received more than £10,000 a year support, and 0.04% received more than £30,000 a year. And no-one ever mentions that housing benefit goes straight to the Landlord and not the claimant.
And those large families screwing the taxpayer? There are around 130 families with 10 children and only 10 families with 12 children IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY who are on benefits.
Benefit cheats are bankrupting the country?
Benefit fraud amounts to about £1.5 billion a year, less than 1% of the entire budget. To put this in perspective, the bank bailout equalled 1,000 years of benefit fraud. Meanwhile, £1.3 billion gets underpaid each year and a further £16 billion goes UNCLAIMED every year.
We can no longer afford the welfare state?
So who is really bankrupting the country? Well, the richest 1,000 people now possess £414 billion between them, a sum more than three times the size of the entire UK budget deficit. The richest 1% of the population are estimated to possess wealth of about £1 trillion. The richest 10% control wealth of about £4 trillion. The Quantitative Easing programme has increased the personal wealth of the UK’s richest 20% by enough to pay for Job Seeker’s Allowance for the next 100 years.
The people of this country are being shafted, but instead of the blame being directed at the real culprits, the rich, it is being aimed at the most vulnerable, the poor, with our own Government shamelessly leading the way.
And every one who believes their bullshit should hang their heads in shame.”

There’s a storm coming…

Rich Hammond 01/04/13