West Ham and Leeds Utd: A Tale of Two Managers – by Rob Atkinson


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Fatuous Sam: “I’m the boss”

It’s a funny old game, football.  Takes all sorts too.  While Leeds fans were venting some well-justified spleen at their misfiring players and management following the debacle at Rochdale, West Ham’s supporters, by contrast were waxing somewhat more philosophical – give or take one weeping kid –  during their own side’s 0-5 mauling at Nottingham Forest.  Or so it would appear, anyway, from reading the not entirely reliable internet outlet which is HF’s “The Game’s Gone Crazy”.

Poor kid

Poor kid

It was interesting, watching the Un’appy ‘Ammers disintegrate at the City Ground.  The travelling Clarets support got glummer and glummer as the game went on – and the distress of that one poor little soul reduced to tears at the humiliation of his favourites by these Norvern (to him) upstarts was especially heart-rending.  It really can be quite upsetting, the way TV cameras tend to zoom in on weeping infants these days when a team’s having a crisis.  We at Leeds know this all too well.

Leeds were awful at Rochdale and West Ham were equally awful at Forest.  The ‘Ammers manager, Fatuous Sam, chose blithely to shrug off what was an appalling defeat.  “I’m the manager,” he said.  “I make the decisions.”  There wasn’t too much sympathy in evidence for the suffering supporters.  At least Brian McDermott for Leeds acknowledged that the United display had been unacceptable.  Fatuous Sam seems to react rather testily at any suggestions mere fans might be critical of his team selections.  This is, after all, a man who feels that he would win everything if put in charge of a truly big club.  It seems amazing that no real giant of the game has ever taken him up on such a confident prediction.  Perhaps they’re mixing him up with Mike Bassett?  On the evidence of the Forest defeat, the fictional comedy England boss might just be a better bet.

The hapless West Ham fan blogger who much prefers to write of bigger clubs had evidently turned on his favourite target of all as a sort of therapy in defeat.  It’s understandable in a way.  Mired in the relegation zone and looking to be on the downhill run out of the Big Time, there’s not a lot of inspiration in writing about the ‘Ammers, is there?  But it’s a shame his research lets him down.  In his haste to revive memories of a famous Leeds FA Cup defeat at Colchester 43 years ago, HF mentions that even Bremner couldn’t spare United such a humiliation.  But as is quite well-known among real football fans, Bremner wasn’t in the team that day – as he frequently reminded people for years afterwards.  It also, apparently, took Don Revie three years to get Leeds “into the Prem”.  Not too bad, HF.  Only thirty years out with the terminology.

The tragedy of the thing is, this amateur is in far too much of a hurry to recycle his tired old standbys (such as “The Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond” – yawn, yawn) to bother with petty considerations such as research.  And boy, does it show.  Reading his blog is strictly for hard times – or for those, like me, who feel the occasional need to monitor him and to put him firmly but kindly in his place.

Things could be worse though.  HF is a pretty poor blogger – I can’t think of any worse off the top of my head, and that includes several particularly deluded Man U examples – but by the side of the team he ostensibly supports and that team’s fat and fatuous manager, he doesn’t look all that bad.  Perhaps he will do better next year when Leeds and West Ham are in the same division.  Then he can abandon his wet-behind-the-ears attempts at condescension, and start shooting from the hip, especially when the ‘Ammers face either of their two Cup Finals against the Mighty Leeds.  It might even do him some good and make him that bit more readable.  You never know – it really is a funny old game.

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24 responses to “West Ham and Leeds Utd: A Tale of Two Managers – by Rob Atkinson

  1. HammerJake

    Dunno why you give this blog site the dignity of such a response – most Hammers fans (and I’m one) think the guy’s a plonker! But on a serious note, surely you’re not suggesting that the great Don Revie failed to respect the FA Cup by fielding a weakened team at Colchester!!

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    • Hell no – it’s just that Bremner was either injured or suspended. He took the piss out of his team-mates from a safely non-involved position for years afterwards. I’m glad it’s not just me who knows that HF is a plonker. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I have a soft spot for West Ham as a club if only for beating the scum in April 92 and setting us on the way to the title – and for thwarting the gits again in ’95. Respect.

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  2. You obviously don’t understand satire! didn’t they teach you anything at the CAB….HF’s blog brings some humour and true banter, as can be evidenced by his many respondents, much more enjoyable than reading this dour diatribe about past glories.He also doesn’t censor or alter comments left on his blog. If you read his comments on West Ham he is as equally objective as he his toward other football teams. All you can do is rant on about Revie from your comfy armchair.

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    • I’m flattered you’ve taken the trouble to read up on my background Jim. Dour diatribe, eh? Dig that alliteration, man! Teach me more of this “satire” sorcery in which you’re so well-versed.

      Clearly, I jest – I’d have more to learn from an ammonite. But I do agree that HF is equally objectionable in all of his works.

      Keep trying.

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    • The only reason he has “many respondents” Jim is because he mentions Leeds , he’s a boring troll who hides behind annonimity ,this weekend west ham were humiliated and his only thoughts were the events at rochdale , he needs to come out , show his true colours , burst his own bubble and admit he’s a Leeds fan

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    • kevin mcgarrigle

      I beg to differ Jim, HF censors all replies to his blog,
      do your homework mate

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    • HF never approves the truly witty pit downs. He can’t bear to appear intellectually inferior to any Leeds fans.

      If anyone is sick of reading his tripe do you know you can block his feed from appearing on news now? Just click on the game’s gone crazy in news now and select ‘hide publication’. Sorted!

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  3. StaffsHammer

    The reason he blogs about other sides is because no one reads his West Ham stuff we all think he is an idiot. His is the only blog I have blocked from appearing on the newsnow stream. Don’t judge us all by his pathetic standards.

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  4. Revie’s ruffians, rose rapidly,and ran round the room.!!

    Dig that too?

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  5. Dave Sales

    Thanks Rob. You have just said what we all think about the “little toffee hammer” And for the record? he has failed to approve a few of my responses to his “blogs” in the past. Why? because I used foul language? was I racist? was I homophobic? No. I was critical, right and above all I spoke the truth. He is a bitter little parasite who gets off on others misfortune. If he is so good at “good old fashioned banter” as some would like to think? then why isn’t he doing it down the pub after the game like the rest of us? Why does he need to do it via blogs? could it be that he has no friends or he doesn’t drink? No. The reason is he cant hide down the local like he does on here. Proof (if ever needed) that he is a spoilt little coward. I have no malice against West Ham but this so called Hammersfan does the club and its other real fans no favours in my eyes. He is nothing more than an arm chair fan with too much time on his hands and too much space between his ears.

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  6. Naith Manni

    Well i like his blog. If only to watch his desperate need to bash on leeds united due to his own team being one of the most boring and uncared for teams in the land. We all know he mentions leeds just so many leeds fans will read his blog and get his pathetic, if somewhat humorous blog some hits. Many of the spammer fans i know thinks he is a complete D*ck and recon he is a closet leeds fan at heart.
    P.S love your blog by the way At least you know your shizzle and make a good article. Keep it up 😀

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  7. The games gone crazy used to piss me off big style,now I just read his (or her) headline on Newsnow,smile and move on to something readable,don’t get wound up everyone,that’s the response he (or she) is looking for. Another enjoyable read Rob.

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  8. This season has been payback time for the odious little creep and this weekend has been a godsend. I must admit i’ve commented on his site after the Forest game.i’m afraid it had to be done. He’s taken so much ridicule that he was compelled to post a Leeds blog. It must have really hurt him,the fact that not only did a Muslim score the first goal but also tore his team apart. What with him being a disgusting racist and all. Occasionally to amuse myself i have a look at his own site and it’s hilarious. He even replies to himself. The half time report is the best though. How many w,ham fans think ” should i listen to a report on the radio,tv or the official site? No i’m going read the report of a nutjob who isn’t even at the match”. He even gives players marks out of ten and better still,the other inhabitants of this lunatic microworld post complaints-“oh come on hf,noble was a 4 at best and carlton cole was a 9 after showing their cb a clean quartet of hooves”etc. It reminds me of that Vincent Price film- Theatre of Blood with the mad thespian and the captive audience or Sink the Bismark when admiral lutyens keeps saying “the luftwaffe are coming to save us,the fuhrer promised”. That’s what hf says about andy caroll,”he’ll be fit soon,then we’ll show em,top 4 at least”. Then-BANG! Bye bye.

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  9. Don’t worry you’re still the king. I don’t understand the point of that other blog/thingy

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  10. Rob, it won’t let me post. You haven’t banned me for disagreeing with you (as TSS have), I hope?

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    • No bans here John, posts moderated on merit. Your two last night were clearly test posts and you seemed ok that they were up for moderation as usual. Post away fella.

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      • They were. There was a longer one about West Ham and Fat Sam that won’t appear under ‘Waiting to be moderated.’ It was full of quality gags, too.

        I’ve seen this before with blogs, sometimes something just gets stuck. Don’t worry about it. (Actually I’ll try it below, though it seems silly now.)

        I have a soft spot for West Ham too. Most of my family supported them, so I’ve seen them a few times. They are like us, a club with an identity (it mostly involves fopping about, passing prettily, desperately trying not to sweat during a game, having 3 good players and a pile of crap, and being very sporting and nice; but still, an identity) and, like us, they are being ill-served. I’d hate to see Fat Sam manage us, I’ve always detested the bloke.

        No, seriously, West Ham weren’t always like that – I remember seeing Moore and Bonds putting it about, as players did in the 70s (football’s best decade as far as I’m concerned, and not just because of us) – and they deserve better than Fatty Arbuckle’s ugly, annoying brother. I hope they sack him and get sorted out.

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      • I always thought of Allardyce as Ferguson’s poodle after he did as he was told in some Scum v Liverpool spat. So I’ve despised him accordingly. He’s on my “Never!” List of potential Leeds managers.

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  11. You’re wasting your time, Rob mate, reading that pseudo blog. Keep up the good work

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  12. Is it just me who remembers Fat Sam squealing like a stuck pig until he got his way, about how managers should have up to date coaching badges no matter how long they’d been working, thus ensuring that Eddie Gray couldn’t become permanent manager? Or something – not sure what I recall there.

    It really frightens me that there are Leeds fans out there who think Spam would be a good manager for us. He’s up there with Jim Smith (remember him? The sort of anti-Warnock – played horrible football, signed crap players, but still holds the record for relegations rather than promotions). Even worse than Mark Hughes.

    Ome thing we must avoid even more than relegation (if we ever are promoted) is becoming a mid-table Premiership side, the kind of club managed by people like Allardyce and Hughes.

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