Roll Up! Roll Up! A Slice of Leeds United Injustice & Misery for Just £2!! – by Rob Atkinson


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Back to the drawing board…

As tempting offers go, it’s right up there with the revolutionary “fork for your soup” innovation – or perhaps the indispensable head-mounted toilet roll dispenser, for those of an out-and-about nature who happen to suffer from a runny nose.  The decision of Leeds United’s Online Superstore to offer us lucky people a DVD of the ill-fated 1975 European Cup Final match against Bayern Munich is pretty much as inspired as that of Decca to turn down the Beatles, on the grounds that “guitar groups are on the way out”.  At £2.00, this product is over-priced by about a fiver. Why on earth would any Leeds fan wish to own it?  It’s like wanting to pay hard cash for the privilege of picking scabs in intimate locations, or perhaps hiring someone to punch you in the kidneys at intervals throughout the day.  It’s not, in short, a commercially viable offer – at least, not in my opinion.

It’s strange, though, what people will buy.  Perhaps Leeds United have identified a gap in the market here, and there really are those out there who wish to relive an occasion of acute pain over and over again, at their leisure. At £2 a shot, it would appear that they are not targeting the discerning, nor yet those who demand pleasurable entertainment for their hard-earned coin. This would appear, on the face of it, to be a promotion aimed at what might charitably be termed mugs – those who are not that thoughtful or choosy about the disposition of their two quid. What other explanation can there be?

It’s tempting to wonder whether our beloved club should instead have aimed at the export market, and flogged these undesirable items in Bavaria, Germany – where they might perhaps be better appreciated.  The novelty of watching their favourites triumph to an English commentary highlighting the injustice of Lorimer’s disallowed goal, the scandal of two obvious penalties not given to England’s Champions, the craven performance of a French referee in thrall to der Kaiser Franz Beckenbauer – all of these unique selling points might go down better in the vicinity of München rather than Beeston.  After all, Schadenfreude has a piquant appeal to the otherwise humourless inhabitants of the Fatherland – much more so than masochism around LS11.

Perhaps there are those that are willing to fork out a coupe of quid to be able to appreciate the beauty of Lorimer’s disallowed volley, which left a keeper of the quality of Sepp Maier helpless and was actually voted into a high position in one poll of Leeds United goals of the century – despite the technical flaw of it not actually counting (by order of der Kaiser).

All in all though, I have to call this particular commercial promotion a failure.  It’s on a par with Germany themselves flogging copies of their effortless 1-5 defeat against England at the start of this century.  That was a defeat that left teutonic jaws sagging across the whole of Deutschland, and – as you might expect – there has not been a high demand in Germany for the privilege of owning that particular debacle.

A few weeks ago, Leeds United were offering a tasteful scarf for sale at about this price.  That’s more the sort of thing we’re after, chaps – particularly while there’s still a nasty north-easterly nip in the air.  It might be a good idea to consign that batch of Bayern DVDs to a convenient landfill site somewhere and come up with something the average Leeds fan might actually want to own.  And before some bright spark suggests the 1973 FA Cup Final – forget it, eh?

Just saying.

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27 responses to “Roll Up! Roll Up! A Slice of Leeds United Injustice & Misery for Just £2!! – by Rob Atkinson

  1. Possibly for some of the less mature fans who don’t fully understand why Leeds fans still insist on chanting “champions of Europe”…I understand it’s tongue in cheek nowadays but I can remember the days when it wasn’t

    Just saying…

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  2. AllWhiteNow

    🙂 Laugh!!?? You really couldn’t make it up could you? I think this one is for the historical completists out there. I attempted the same thing some years ago. I was trying to describe to someone the completely unpunished, shameless, pre-meditated and viciously destructive kicking that Eddie (Mr Leeds United) Gray got in that FA Cup Final replay from Ron (Chopper) Harris. So I bought a copy of the DVD – this is some years ago now – and I still can’t bring myself to watch it. There’s only so much pain that anyone can willingly put themselves through. One day maybe… one day. MOT

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  3. Only just got over 1975 rob , and 73 finals n Chelsea final and 3 championships we were denied ,won’t be purchasing thanks

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  4. Perhaps they could do a box set to include the 1973 Cup Winners Cup final………….

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  5. Perhaps they could do a Box Set to include the 1973 Cup Winners Cup final………

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  6. Maybe they have digitally edited it to give the right score?

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  7. It ONLY costs £4.99 for postage so even more of a bargain!! Gutted the Mackems didn’t win on Sunday so they would have had something else to bleat about the boring f**kers

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  8. Sounds like they were clearing out an old storeroom and came across a load of old Betamax video tapes and some enterprising young soul who was born long after the 70’s thought there may be a market for this!
    Going back to that game, when it became obvious that the final score was already known to those in control, my Mrs muted the sound and played a piano concerto thinking it might help; it didn’t really but at least the telly survived in tact!

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  9. joe conroy

    was going to buy it rob was drunk the night of the match got drunker after the game wanted to know even now how we lost but now do not want to know thanks rob really do enjoy your blog through bad times and the good times to come your fame and humour is spreading from WICKLOW WHITE

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  10. Leeds4alongtime

    Not much point in offering a Leeds scarf for the bargain price of £2 and then charging another fiver to post it to you?

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  11. When Gerd Muller scored the second goal, I walked out of my girlfiend’s house, where I was watching it with her Dad, went to the pub and got legless.

    Whoever said that WACCOE chant was tongue in cheek can’t have been there – and couldn’t be more wrong.

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  12. I understand the pain,, but isn’t it worth paying £2 to watch that Revie team in a final , ihave as much of that team on dvd as poss,(brings back memories )

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    • I take your point, but I just can’t see paying out brass to see the club I love being swindled out of the ultimate prize. The memories are, sadly, sharp enough without video reinforcement.

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  13. Probably a better seller would be a dvd of all the Scum’s defeats this season, just have a blank cover as we wouldn’t want to use their name in advertising

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  14. How about Austin & & Kebe highlights 3 mins 30 secs free with programme

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  15. David Smith

    Whenever I hear the BBC Sportsnight theme, I can’t help but think back to that fateful night in Paris and watching the match on the telly with my Dad – it still really hurts.

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    • Me too. I barked my knuckles on my Dad’s prized stone fireplace when Roth scored – and again when Muller rubbed it in. Sad, sad night – and so unjust.

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  16. Alf Tupper

    Perhaps the person who put it on sale didn’t know the score and assumes we won?

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  17. What about a new dvd called “Great Ball Control”, featuring Jimmy Kebe and John Pearson.
    Has everyone noticed that Kebe looks very much like Thierry Henry?, but it’s such a shame that he plays like John Pearson.

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  18. Kelly hxwhite

    Don’t know Rob some of us young uns that are not old enough to spring that game to mind painful it most defiantly will b but av never seen the whole game so might b worth 2 quid. Wot I can’t get my ed around is that the powers that b even then and even on the continent were shafting Leeds united then is there a reason av we been naughty

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  19. Great article Rob – I remember it all too well – at the age of 14 my family were moving from Leeds to the Hull area because of my dad’s job, literally the day after the final. I was due to stay behind at a mates for the (what should have been) celebrations but was so upset/angry that I travelled with my family the day of the move

    Like

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