Football League Considering Treason Charge for Ref Who Gave Leeds a Penalty – by Rob Atkinson


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Peter Bankes – professional suicide?

Peter Bankes, the referee who has defied the Football League party line to award Leeds a controversial first penalty kick in well over a year, leading to their 2-1 victory over Queens Park Rangers, could now face being sent to Coventry for his sins (they play Luton Town at the Ricoh Arena next Saturday).

Games without a penalty for Leeds United now…

Worse, it is being suggested in some quarters that the errant official could be charged by the ruling body with high treason, an offence that carries a maximum punishment of “a fate worse than death”. When asked what that fate might be, a Football League spokesman would only grimace and shake his head in a deeply ominous fashion whilst mouthing the dread word “Millwall”.

Mr Bankes was not available for comment after the game, it being understood that he was closeted with QPR manager Schteve McClaren and being grilled about what Schteve was sarcastically calling his “X-ray vision”. A Leeds source told us that the referee’s room was closed and locked for an hour after the final whistle, with Mr Bankes eventually being spirited away to Football League headquarters where he is expected to face brutal interrogation over the next 72 hours.

A Leeds source told Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything “Our only regret is that we were hoping to have a joint celebration of our centenary in 2019 with maybe a timely penalty late in the season – today’s totally unexpected award has clearly scuppered that. But we’ll take it gracefully and move on. We’d been a bit worried about the actual penalty conversion, there was a bit of chat on the pitch because nobody could remember how it’s done. Every time Marcelo has suggested practising penalties in training, the lads have just fell about laughing. Luckily, Kemar stepped up and sent the lad the wrong way, but he admitted afterwards that he’d been a bit tempted to head it”.

Rumours that United are planning to place a Tourist Information sign on the penalty spot at the Kop End, denoting a site of major historical interest, cannot, as yet, be confirmed.

Historical

Leeds United penalty – historically remarkable

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23 responses to “Football League Considering Treason Charge for Ref Who Gave Leeds a Penalty – by Rob Atkinson

  1. The word on the street Rob is he’s being sent to Guantanamo Bay for enhanced interrogation, on the orders of our Dictatoress Mrs May to deflect attention over Brexit.

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  2. NickB(50yrsLU)

    Something else to make it a thoroughly bizarre day is that the journo sent from 5 Live to cover the match referred to our double goal scorer as ‘Lemarr Roofe’; a good job he didn’t mention our manager, Markle Obielsa!

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  3. I see the twatterati are at it again,laying into Alioski as usual and Klich. Can’t we all just be happy with the win and save the criticism for when its due?

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    • The trouble with that is, you get bullshit “news sources” on NewsNow, quoting the crap the idiots post on Twitter as if it’s gospel. Pathetic and annoying.

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  4. Thumbs up – sans emoji!

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  5. Ken Jarvis

    So chuffed we scored as I would have balled my eyes if we had missed it.

    Lads in training, asked to practice them, well that was priceless Rob, you are simply the best

    On a quiet note, we are going UP

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  6. Damn, I had it worked out at around the 16th game of next season would have been the game for a penalty, 100th game in our centenary year, bloody FL never do anything right 🙂

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  7. Reality Cheque

    Winning at Sheffield United and being awarded a penalty at Elland Road the very next game? Where am I Rob? Surely this isn’t really happening to Leeds United is it? ALAW

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  8. Blue Monday

    My first game at ER in 2 years and we get THE penalty. I am claiming it!! MOT

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  9. Samuel Coley

    Superb all round. 😃

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  10. Kevin Wilson

    He’s getting sacked in the morning……..

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  11. Go on Get one for yourself son

    Lol when the penalty went in my thoughts went immediately to this gem of a site..enjoyed the rest of your week kind sir

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  12. Reality Cheque

    Rob, please spare a thought for the poor QPR keeper who had no stats to base his attempt to save the penalty on. His goalkeeping coach told him that the last player to take a penalty awarded to Leeds United was Peter Lorimer!
    Seasons greetings to you and yours Rob

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  13. Reality Cheque

    PPS. I cannot remember the last time that I looked at the league table in December and saw that we had beaten all 3 of the other teams sharing the top 4 with us, at their own grounds! Impressive or what?

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  14. Life is LUFC

    I kept an eye open for your missive until 8:00 last evening. When nothing appeared I thought this is really serious, I hope Rob is alright…..thank goodness your OK but I bet it was a close run thing.
    What is really galling is I have a very bad virus and it has left me deaf so when all this talk was going on about this very rare phenomenon I damn well missed it. I had to wait for Leeds Live lot to pick them selves off the floor and write it on their blog. So there I am the only Leeds fan shouting and hollering after the kick had been taken.
    That’s a season ban for him then and sitting in the corner on a very large pointed hat for the rest of the season.
    A penalty for Leeds……sheer poetry 😉

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  15. Newsflash! Referee found crucified outside EFL HQ. Must be a mindless killer or an EFL official. Funny article Rob.

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