Tag Archives: Elland Road

Is Cellino Now Looking For a Monk With a Vow of Silence as Leeds Boss?   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 31/05/2016 | 9 comments
Garry-Monk

Monk – silent and celibate enough for Cellino?

So, the least surprising Leeds United news of all time is finally confirmed, after weeks of needless shilly-shallying during which owner Massimo Cellino displayed a characteristic lack of class, guts and decency. Rumour has it that il Loco wasn’t even man enough to tell Steve Evans in person that he was no longer required. Well done, thou good and faithful servant – now, kindly leave the building.

Various betting markets will now open. The first may well be as to how many Leeds coaches it is till Christmas, with five as the even money favourite. More seriously, speculation is rife as to the identity of the next mug stupid enough to work for an incompetent egomaniac like Cellino. Evans’ departure may mean that a new patsy, number seven of that ilk, is in the offing – or it may simply be that today was the last possible day to announce Big Steve’s contract would not be renewed. It’s humiliatingly disgusting either way. Leeds United is a difficult club to be proud of supporting these days. 

If the next dead man walking has at last been identified, then a fair bit of money says it could be former Swansea manager Garry Monk. (Swansea, you may remember, are one of that clutch of clubs which shared with us our dismal League One days, and who have now established themselves way ahead of us in the Premier League with a trophy on the sideboard. Current English Champions Leicester City are another).

If it is to be Monk, he will presumably have been briefed as to his working conditions. The lower league managers approached in the last week or so appear to have asked awkward questions about those conditions, before wisely concluding that they’re better off where they are. Monk, if he is the one, would have to understand that as Leeds Head Coach, he would be very much the President’s man. There must be no unauthorised yapping to the Press, like that maverick Evans. No whipping up the crowd with the Leeds salute, like that self-promoting Redders. And definitely NO attempts to become more popular with the fans than Cellino himself. That’s the ultimate no no. 

Anyone who accepts a job like Leeds under the kind of restrictions that proved unpalatable to the managers of MK Dons and Bristol Rovers may not – we might ruefully suppose – be the type of guy we really need. And therein lies the conundrum, that’s the real Catch-22. The kind of man and manager we really need – able to handle himself in the media, principled, tough, decisive, all that malarkey – would be anathema to Signor Cellino. Heavens above, we’ve just this minute got rid of one like that!

And, by the same token, the sort that il Duce really seems to want – a yes man, unprotesting, biddable sort of chap – that’s the exact opposite of the archetypal successful Leeds United boss down the years. It’s an equation that just will not balance. The best we can hope for is that Cellino might be taken out of that equation, and soon, by some court or governing body or other. Because, otherwise, the craziness and the shame will continue. 

If the President’s Lucky Seven choice for Leeds turns out to be Monk (and, of course, if Monk recklessly accepts a doomed commission) then we can assume that the vow of silence will already be signed, sealed and delivered. And the vow of celibacy can be taken as read, too – after all, no-one with the balls to stand up to Cellino will be getting anywhere near the manager’s office at Elland Road.

And – to my many detractors, most of whom have had silence imposed upon them – believe me, it gives me no pleasure to write in this vein. I would not choose to pour scorn or drip sarcasm over my beloved Leeds United. It’s painful and heart-rending. But take a step back from your lifelong loyalty and your blindness to the truth – and look at Cellino’s Leeds in the cold light of day. It’s not a pretty sight, is it?

Whoever gets the job next, unless he finds himself freed by exterior forces from Cellino, he will most certainly fail. Hamstrung, gagged and with his hands tied behind his back, just ask yourselves – how could he do otherwise?

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Now Mickey Mouse Turns Down Cellino and Leeds United   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 27/05/2016 | 40 comments

In the latest twist to the Leeds United managerial saga, Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything can reveal that yet another household name has turned down the chance to take over at Elland Road.

The latest in a growing list of potential Leeds managers to decide his future lies elsewhere is Disney legend Mickey Mouse. We understand that Mr. Mouse was approached earlier this week by United owner Massimo Cellino, who told the popular cartoon rodent that Leeds was “With me in charge, a club with your name written all over it, my friend”.

Asked about his reasons for turning down this fabulous opportunity, Mr. Mouse was reticent. “I can’t say too much, as I understand personal friends of mine could also be in line for this job. But it just wasn’t right for me at this time. I’ve not been that busy lately, and I’m really looking for something slightly longer term than the next week or so that Massimo was talking about. But I appreciate his interest in me, and I wish him and Leeds well in the future”.

Cellino himself remains defiant and insists he still has “many special options”. Rumours that Miss Piggy is a candidate appear to be wide of the mark, as she has been linked with a position working under Prime Minister David Cameron on several highly sensitive projects including acting as a mouthpiece at the PM’s pleasure. The Chuckle Brothers, astrologer Russell Grant and Penelope Pitstop’s arch-nemesis, The Hooded Claw, are other names being spoken of in informed circles. But, despite his outward show of bravado, it is believed that the failure to reach agreement with Mickey Mouse has hit Cellino particularly hard, and he is now expected to spend the weekend contemplating more fibs about the possible sale of the club before launching into another impassioned rant on Monday.

The latest betting odds for next permanent (periods over 24 hours) Leeds manager reflect the uncertainty of this market. Current incumbent Steve Evans is still available at 5000/1, attracting sizeable punts from a Mr. C Ranieri of Leicester as well as an un-named former England striker. Evans’ current situation is described by the man himself as “deeply hurt but still pathetically eager”.

Massimo Cellino is a complete and utter lunatic.

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West Ham Farewell Party Confirms the Love For Elland Road   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 11/05/2016 | 10 comments

Elland Road

Elland Road, THE place of worship for thousands

Just nine days short of 480 years since another Boleyn met her end, on a Tower Green scaffold one sad Tudor morning, the curtain finally fell on West Ham United’s Boleyn Ground last night. It was the climax of 112 years of East End football history, fittingly topped off with a thrilling late victory and then the obligatory lasers and fireworks – spectacular high jinks, warming the cockles before the cold reality of the bulldozers moving in to do their grim work. 

Poor little Queen Anne was snuffed out by a French swordsman imported specially for the occasion by her kindly husband King Henry VIII. One swing of that fine blade left la Boleyn shorter by a head – and it was deadly twin thrusts from another Frenchman that could have cut short the farewell celebrations at the Boleyn Ground. West Ham had taken an early lead, but two goals from French prodigy Martial threatened rudely to poop the Hammers’ party. Fortunately, not least for this hardly unbiased viewer, the Irons roared back with two late goals to secure victory and put the Champions League hopes of Manchester’s finest back in their own hands. What a game, what a night. But then, chillingly, comes the bleak reality of the following day.

Watching such a thrilling match and then such an emotional farewell event had me wondering how those Hammers fans were feeling as the night and the occasion went by. There must surely have been a slightly unreal air about the place. Is this really the last time? Is this familiar old place really going to be torn down pitilessly, along with all the memories of good times and bad? Those questions must inevitably have gone through thousands of baffled, barely believing cockney minds. 

I have my own recollections of the Boleyn Ground – or Upton Park, as it was also known. Only a few, but marked each time by a Leeds United win, which obviously makes for good memories. And enough of those memories to make the place quite familiar to me. So even I can hardly credit the fact that, so soon, it will all be gone. But if I had to guess, based on my own forty-odd years of football fandom, just how those West Ham fans were feeling last night, I’d wager there was a lot of sadness and a sea of tears after the jubilation of victory, as the loss of a beloved place of worship started to sink in. And, I ask you, how on earth must they be feeling this morning?

It’s a bit hard to put myself in their shoes. The nearest comparison I can make is that last occasion, before the suits brought in the seats, standing on the Kop terraces against the Wendies. That was emotional enough. I literally can hardly imagine how I would feel if Elland Road itself – my second and spiritual home since 1975 – was condemned to be rased to the ground. Words would not be able to express the awful emptiness I would feel, the nightmare sensation of being cast out of my comfort zone, never to return. It came close enough – too close for comfort – to actually happening, with a firm proposal to relocate put to the vote in the 90s. For me, it didn’t really hit home or seem real at that time. I truly know that now.

I know it, because of what I saw in the coverage of the Boleyn’s last game. Because it’s a stadium I’m familiar with, I was suddenly forced to contemplate the same grisly fate befalling Elland Road. It’s a simply horrible thought. It certainly gave me nightmares and, this morning, I really feel for those displaced, dispossessed Hammers fans. 

Some will point to the grandeur of their new surroundings at the Olympic Stadium. Well, whatever floats your boat. And there’s the small matter of 52,000 season tickets sold already ahead of the next campaign. The Hammers are moving up to a different level, it’s a whole new ball game now. So it may well be. But is it worth it? Well, you could rebuild the Bernebeu or the Camp Nou in Roundhay Park and, for me, the answer would still be no.

It’s a bit different for us. We’ve been the best, on more than one occasion, and we’ve sustained that excellence at a fortress called Elland Road. So much of what Leeds United have achieved is part of the concrete, the steel, even the hallowed turf of that venerable old stadium. Maybe it would have been harder for us than it’s turning out to be for those Hammers who said “goodbye” last night. But honestly, I doubt it. I think it’s going to be very hard indeed on those fans, once the dust has settled. 

All I can say for myself is that last night reinforced for me the emotional pull of Elland Road, the fundamental attachment I so strongly feel for the place. I’m quite certain that the same is true for thousands of other Leeds fans. Perhaps it takes being a spectator at an event like last night to really bring home what being at home is actually all about. And what losing that home would heart-breakingly mean.

Hammers fans still have their memories; they’ll still be able to replay the mind’s eye video of countless great matches and famous victories. But the place where all those things happened will soon be dust, and there’s an awful finality to that. When the place is gone, the memories will be harder to put into their proper setting. Even ghosts need a place to float around in.

Every time I see Elland Road, a thousand precious memories become real again for me – some pretty bad ones too, make no mistake. But they’re all part of that fund of recollection any football fan builds up, and they’re inextricably linked with that loveable ramshackle old stadium, with its incongruously shiny newer bits. Even they’ve been with us over a quarter of the club’s lifetime. I love every inch of the place, down to the last rivet and the smallest blade of grass. Part of my life would be gone, if I had to go through what the Hammers fans went through last night. What they’re only starting to get used to this morning. 

Congratulations to West Ham, on a fine victory and a fitting way to mark the end of an era. I’m really pleased for you – and yet I’m sorry for you too. God knows I’d love the experience again, of beating that lot and reducing them to misery. I’ve always loved that. But – at the cost of a large chunk of my soul? I think not. I really think not. 

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As West Ham Say Goodbye to Upton Park, Memories of a Leeds Fan – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 10/05/2016 | 7 comments
wright hammer

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Happy Wright

Tonight we bid a sad farewell to Upton Park, or the Boleyn Ground, long-time home of Olympic Stadium-bound West Ham United. The ‘Ammers, as they’re known locally, have usually been obliging victims for Leeds United teams of most eras, and were particularly notable as lenders of a helping hand towards the end of our title run-in of 1992, when they defeated Man U in a game that turned Alex Ferguson the deepest shade of exasperated purple I’ve ever seen. So it’s fitting, as another proper London football ground bites the dust, that I should write a little about the ‘Appy ‘Ammers; some of my fondest memories are of victories there, particularly this MayDay romp in 1999.

It was an encounter, played out in front of a packed Boleyn Ground crowd of 25997, that found Leeds United in a rich run of form; ten games unbeaten since an early February reverse to Newcastle at Elland Road, after which they had reeled off seven consecutive league victories followed by three draws on the trot. The Whites’ determination to get back to winning ways after those six dropped points was exemplified by the fastest possible start.  A mere twenty seconds had ticked by when the ball nestled in the West Ham net, put there emphatically by the ebullient Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink who ran at a retreating Neil Ruddock before finishing neatly with a left-foot shot past Shaka Hislop. And then the game went ever so slightly mad.

Jimmy’s goal apart, the first quarter of an hour had seen both sides engaging in tackles which tended on the thuggish side of enthusiastic. West Ham’s Eyal Berkovic was a victim early on, and Lee Bowyer was on the end of a clattering as the home side sought revenge. Then Ian Wright, no stranger to controversy and the disciplinary attentions of referees, led with his elbow when challenging for a high ball, and copped for a yellow card that looked a lot more justified than the second yellow he got after only 15 minutes, following an altercation with Ian Harte, Harte, Harte. So Wright was on his way back to the stand after a mere quarter of an hour, loudly protesting the injustice of the case and hell-bent, as it turned out, on venting his frustrations on the décor in the ref’s room. 

For the next half-hour, leading up to the interval, Leeds proceeded to make a one man advantage look anything but as West Ham pressed them back, causing panic in the away defence as the promptings of Berkovic and Paolo di Canio created some decent chances to possibly level the game. Leeds had managed to be distinctly the poorer side in that opening 45 minutes, and yet – as if to prove once again what a daft game football can be – they hit West Ham with a sucker punch in first half stoppage time. David Batty appeared to have committed a foul in midfield which might well have justified a booking had the ref not totally ignored it and waved for play to continue. Harry Kewell duly obliged, picking the ball up wide on the left and mesmerising the overstretched Hammers defence before cutting the ball back from the by-line for Alan Smith to convert gleefully.

2-0 then at half time and – for once – it had pretty much all gone Leeds’ way. We had been outplayed for most of the game so far, but were somehow two goals and one man to the good; courtesy, it has to be said, of some not exactly even-handed refereeing.

The second half began much as most of the first had been spent, with Leeds on the back foot and defending precariously. Straight away, the dangerous Berkovic bamboozled Jonathan Woodgate, turning him inside out before supplying di Canio with the perfect chance to pull a goal back. 2-1 to the visitors then, but the balance of the play had been with West Ham, and maybe now the momentum was theirs too. None of us could feel over-confident despite a man and a goal advantage, because all of us could recall Leeds blowing such enviable positions many times in the past.

This time, though – for once – we were not to be let down. A rare defensive slip just after the hour from the otherwise excellent Marc-Vivien Foé saw Hasselbaink sprint clear to round Hislop, who then brought him down. Penalty to Leeds and, despite the presence of defensive cover, Hislop was sent off. It was a slightly unfortunate second red card for West Ham, who felt compelled to replace Berkovic with reserve keeper Craig Forrest as the calamities mounted for the home team. Forrest’s first act was to pick Harte’s penalty out of the back of the net, and Leeds were 3-1 up and cruising against 9 men. Foé, we will remember, sadly died four years later at the tragically young age of 28, from an unsuspected heart condition whilst representing his country in the FIFA Confederations Cup.

Now at last Leeds started to dominate as a two-man advantage would suggest they should. The best goal of the game arrived on 78 minutes, Bowyer hitting an unstoppable right-footed shot from twenty-five yards, which curved slightly as it found the corner of Forrest’s net.  Just a minute later, Alf-Inge Haaland sprinted on to a Hasselbaink pass into a massive amount of space on the right hand side. Unchallenged, he was able to advance into the penalty area and beat Forrest with an accurate shot just inside the far post.

The eight outfield players in claret and blue were clearly finding the pace too hot, and suddenly there was room aplenty all over the pitch for Leeds to exploit, and exploit it they did.  Aided by the fact that the Hammers – to their eternal credit – were still trying to attack Leeds in spite of their depleted resources, Leeds were granted the licence to ping the ball about, always able to find a man or two in space, making the tired home players work overtime to chase possession as the Upton Park faithful bayed their hate at the referee. Truth to tell, we could easily empathise with the ‘Arrassed ‘Ammers; far too many times down the years we’d been in their shoes, watching impotently enraged as some git of a ref casually destroyed our afternoon. It was somewhat bizarre to watch the situation unfold in reverse – but what the hell. We made hay while the sun was shining, and happily the team was doing the same.

The game had long been over as a contest and, at 5-1 up with no credible opposition to deal with, Leeds seemed intent solely on playing out time. Smith still managed to miss a passable chance to make it 6-1 and Clyde Wijnhard contrived to get himself booked, eliciting maliciously ironic chants of “Who’s the bastard in the black” from the jubilant Leeds fans, who displayed an ironic gallows humour not altogether appreciated by the home supporters. Finally, hothead Irons defender Steve Lomas allowed his mounting frustration to get the better of him, launching an agricultural challenge in the direction of Harte and duly collecting his marching orders to reduce the hapless, helpless Hammers to eight at the death.

It had been a strange game, a romp for the Whites on the face of it – judging by the lop-sided score line anyway. But it had never been quite like that; not that our awareness of having been outplayed for long stretches diluted our joy one tiny bit. It’s a sad fact that 5-1 away wins do not come along very often, and we enjoyed this one to the full. We enjoyed it for the whole of the slightly perilous walk back to the tube station, and we were still enjoying it when we beheld the distinctly pissed-off figure of Leslie Grantham heading down the stairway to the platform where we were celebrating noisily. Leslie Grantham, soap-opera legend as Eastenders arch-villain Dirty Den; Leslie Grantham who had done serious time for killing a German taxi-driver; Leslie Grantham, Hammers fanatic, who – despite being accompanied by his two young boys – bore a grim aspect which looked rather as if he wouldn’t mind adding a couple of Leeds fans to that record.

Tactful and understanding to the last of private grief, we wisely kept our distance and refrained from seeking autographs. It had been a memorably bizarre day for Leeds United and an equally happy summer evening awaited us in the sinful fleshpots of London, crap, watery cockney beer and semi-hostile natives notwithstanding.

Dirty Den 1, Dirty Leeds 5.

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Spurs as Champions? It Would Have Seemed Silly   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 27/04/2016 | 51 comments
Spuds

Spurs – still no Title pedigree

If Tottenham Hotspur finish this season in a Champions League qualification place and – more importantly, in the eyes of many of their fans – above loathed North London rivals Arsenal, then this season will be deemed by the vast majority of those fans to have been a resounding success. This, despite the fact that they will have failed to have taken their most realistic chance in over half a century to finish as Champions of England. This is why Spurs, despite their superficial glamour and appeal, cannot be regarded as a big club.
 
This might sound strange coming from a fan of 21st Century also-rans Leeds United. But, for all their recent woes and the chaos that characterises life at Elland Road under Bates, GFH and Cellino, Leeds remain a big club. The expectations are still there, the voracious hunger and imperious demand to be up there with the best. At some point, those demands will be met – because the expectations and desire of the fans are what, ultimately, define the size and potential of a football club. Leeds have all that – Tottenham simply don’t. A cursory scan of their Twitter feed, since Spurs capitulated against West Brom on Monday, is ample illustration of this. 

I was really expecting to find anger, dismay and deep, deep hurt among the Spurs Twitteratti, at the careless throwing away of a once in a lifetime chance. It wasn’t there. I thought too – equally erroneously – that there would be angst and an abiding sense of betrayal. I based this on an empathetic knowledge of how I or most other Leeds supporters would feel – how it would leave us bereft and fuming to see such a rare opportunity passed up. But then – we’re Leeds, and these people were merely Spurs. There’s a big difference.

Last time Leeds joined the big time, back in 1990 – and the time before that, in 1964 – the Whites wasted no time merely admiring their surroundings or being overawed by their new peers. They took a brief, almost scornful look around, allowed themselves the barest of minimum settling-in periods, won their opening fixture back at this new, rarefied level – and proceeded to dominate proceedings thenceforth. Don Revie‘s wonders went within a whisker of the double first time out, and were the best team in Europe within five years. Sergeant Wilko‘s Warriors were Champions inside twenty months. This is the mettle and appetite of a big club. There is no fear and mighty little respect in the staff and players. There is an abounding self-belief and naked ambition among the fans. So it was with Leeds United. So it will be again. 

There is none of this with Spurs. Despite the excellence of their squad, they lack the inner conviction and the aspirations of Champions. At its heart, the club is effete and decadent, content to play pretty football while perceived lesser mortals – the Leicester Citys of this world – scrap and fight, working hard, giving no quarter, exerting every fibre of their being in the pursuit of victory. In a game of fine margins, it is this muck and bullets approach that can close the quality gap and make the difference when the prizes are handed out. 

On the evidence of social media reaction since West Brom killed off their hopes, the Spurs fans are as much to blame as the soft centre of their club. It’ll be nice to finish second, they trill. We’d have snatched your hands off for the chance of finishing higher than Arsenal. We’ll be favourites next year, they croon, hopefully. But next year never comes – not when the real big boys, the Citys, the Arsenals, the Chelseas and the Liverpools, will be waking up from their one season slumber. 

Thinking back to the early nineties, when Leeds were the hungry new kids on the block – we hoped and craved for a chance to be the best again. Whether we really expected it to come along so soon is a moot point. But we were raucously demanding of it. And when that chance presented itself – especially at the expense of our most hated foes – there was no suggestion of “well, it’d be nice, but second wouldn’t be too bad either”. We’d have been gutted to the depths of our very souls, if our heroes in White hadn’t seized the day. It would have been impossible to express the wretchedness we would have felt. The Spurs fans this week, with their mealy-mouthed acceptance of failure and honeyed words of congratulations to conquerors Leicester, have betrayed their club and shown themselves, as well as Tottenham Hotspur, unworthy of being regarded as champion material. 

In the end, any league gets the champions it deserves and, barring last-gasp miracles or calamity, it’ll be no different this year. Spurs will have shown why they haven’t been The Best since 1961, when JFK was president, the Beatles were playing beery dives in Hamburg and I was only just seeing the light of day. Leicester, with their indomitable self-belief and determination to make the most of every opportunity under the brilliant guidance of one-time “Tinkerman” Claudio Ranieri, will thoroughly have deserved their Premier League Title. They will be Champions every bit as deserving, and more, than the Leeds United tyros of 1992. 

Leicester City, Champions of England. It has a ring of authenticity to it that’s been hard fought for and deeply merited. Whereas “Champions Spurs” – well, it just doesn’t sound right. It sounds instead like cheap fiction; and, as long as the club and the fans retain their current losers’ mindset, that’s just how it will remain. 

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How Will Cellino Try to Justify the Sacking of Steve Evans?   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 25/04/2016 | 35 comments
cellino-crotch

Cellino’s chopper seems to be ready to swing again

As our promised “beautiful season” drags its weary way to a mid-table close, amid a welter of unexpectedly good results, the burning issue now at hand is what we will be told when loco owner Massimo Cellino scratches that itch and sacks yet another manager.

The revolving door at Elland Road will surely also need replacing soon. It must be on its last legs after the unprecedented number of staff arrivals and departures over the last few years, as Cellino continues to feed his voracious ego. The only truly secure position at Leeds United appears to be that of Il Duce himself – and that’s only by the grace of the unusually tolerant football authorities. They have Cellino taped for what he is and yet, unaccountably, they fail to act. By his own admission, Cellino has been a dire failure at Leeds. Get rid of me if we’re not back in the Premier League by 2016, he trumpeted on arrival. There was also some stuff about repurchasing Elland Road. None of it has happened, of course – yet still Cellino is here, hiring and firing like there’s no tomorrow.

That process seems certain to continue in the near future; Steve Evans has been doing a miraculous job in circumstances that would be unbearable for less determined and self-assured men. But nevertheless, he is likely to go soon; the writing has been on the wall for a while now. Cellino’s modus operandi is a wearily familiar one: undermine and publicly rebuke your victim-in-waiting, tell him to keep quiet while you hog the headlines yourself, aim to stir up the negative feelings and prejudices of the gutter end of the United support. This campaign is in full swing against Evans, but there’s one niggling problem. The dratted man has done better in post than any of his predecessors since promotion-winner Simon Grayson. How inconvenient for Cellino is that?

How, indeed, will Cellino set about justifying the imminent betrayal of yet another solid football pro? It’s undeniable that Evans has made something of a silk purse out of what was definitely a sow’s ear when he arrived. Yes, he’s vocal at times, and has a tendency to proclaim his successes and his favoured managerial techniques. But are these really bad things? With the axe hovering above our heads as it has been for Evans, wouldn’t any of us point out as often as possible that we’re actually doing a decent job? Lifelong Celtic fan Steve Evans could, it is said, stroll into Celtic Park and occupy the manager’s chair if he so desired. But he wants to stay at Leeds. Shouldn’t we admire and relate to that?

What’s more, shouldn’t Cellino display some passing regard for a man who has overseen what looks like being our best finish for a good long time? But that would be out of character for someone who is far more at home sniping and griping at those who are trying to do their jobs under his crazy stewardship. Even Cellino, though, probably recognises that this sacking will be even harder to explain away than the others. The results have been OK, some of the displays haven’t been too bad – and we cannot now finish lower than our recently-favoured final position of fifteenth or so. Still, it’s likely that Evans will be gone, a Scot fired because Cellino says he can’t get on with English managers. That’s Massimo logic for you.

What have we to look forward to, then? Cellino appears to have put his money where his mouth is with a “season ticket part refund” undertaking if and when we fail to make at least the play-offs next season. That’s a big gamble, and there have to be concerns about the financial state of the club going into season 2017/18 if season-ticket holders have to be refunded up to half the cost of next year’s outlay. Still, that’s a promise conveniently far away. And it’s not as if Cellino has felt bound by his word in the past – is it?

And so the lunatic merry-go-round carries on apace. The next few weeks should be very interesting, though probably not in a good way, as we wait to see which direction Cellino’s grasshopper mind will jump next. The only thing that seems certain, based on the Italian’s record so far, is that stability – a commodity badly needed at Elland Road – will be as elusive as ever when il Duce once again clears the decks on the foundering ship that is Leeds United.

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It’s NOT the Name of Leeds United Being Dragged Through the Mud   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 14/04/2016 | 35 comments
cellino-crotch

The real culprit in this sorry, sorry affair

In the wake of the Lucy Ward Industrial Tribunal verdict, there has understandably been a welter of press and social media comment, some of it informed, some of it less so. Leading the way, as is only right and fair, is the Yorkshire Evening Post, which today carries a front page editorial piece entitled “How Much More Can We Take?”. For the most part, this is a justifiably explosive torpedo of a piece, aimed accurately right between the eyes of United owner Massimo Cellino and his cronies past and present. This blog has no argument at all about that.

All the main aspects of what came out of Ms. Ward’s successful Tribunal appeal against her dismissal (with an associated successful claim that she suffered sex discrimination) were accurately covered in the YEP article. This is as one might expect from a reputable publication with United’s – indeed the whole city’s – interests at heart. The YEP carries a banner tagline, Twitter style, of #championingleeds. Most laudable, if a little ironic, in the light of the tone parts of this front page article carried.

In summary, we read in the Post of “this sorry, sorry affair”, with suitably disapproving reference to the Tribunal findings that Cellino did indeed make sexist comments to Ms. Ward (Football is no place for women. They should be in the bedroom or beauticians). The Tribunal found Lucy Ward to be an honest and truthful witness, whereas the testimony of the witnesses ostensibly representing the club had scorn poured upon their veracity and credibility. All very damning for the losing side in this legal play-off; for Lucy Ward it was a day of triumph, tinged with sadness at the treatment she has received whilst working for the football club she loves.

The nagging problem with the coverage of this case, though, is a tendency for both Press and Judges to lay blame at the door of Leeds United as an entity. The Post refers to a once proud club being dragged through the mud. Leeds United is still a proud club, ladies and gentlemen of the Press. Its history and achievements are reason enough for that, as well as its large and fanatical support. Football clubs don’t make sexist comments – it’s ignorant, loutish people who do that – people like Massimo Cellino, convicted fraudster and an unreconstructed male chauvinist who has no place in the 21st century, let alone in charge of a world famous sporting institution. The club, and its iconic name, are not being dragged through the mud. If that were the case, then we’d all of us, all those thousands of fans all over the world, be liberally daubed in the sticky stuff. Whereas, in actuality, the reaction I’ve seen so far is of pleasure and relief that Lucy Ward has been vindicated – together with anger and resentment that our maverick owner has yet again disgraced himself whilst associated with our great club.

The Tribunal panel was at it, too, according to the Post. They professed themselves to be astonished “that this respondent (Leeds United) had no awareness of the ACAS code or what it contained and that it failed to comply with what are regarded as basic principles”. Well, with all due respect to the august members of the Tribunal panel, that is just so much nonsense.

Football clubs, let’s face it, are neither aware nor unaware of ACAS codes, proper procedures or basic principles – because they’re institutions, not sentient beings. As such, they are at the mercy of those who own and run them. To blame Leeds United for failing in any particular matter of legal principle or process of arbitration – is like blaming the RMS Titanic for pranging on an iceberg. It’s plainly ridiculous because the blame resides with the man at the helm, if anywhere. And this is more important than you might think. Because it’s no mere matter of semantics.

If Leeds United were capable of taking the blame, or of having its name sullied, as has been suggested, then its adherents – we, the fans – would find ourselves tarred with the same brush (as we have been tarred on our own account often enough in the past half-century). But, as we have seen, the majority are firmly behind Lucy Ward and delighted that she has found justice at last. Meanwhile, if the focus is lost as it threatens to be, the true culprits may be permitted to dodge the spotlight that should properly be exposing them to the public glare of disapproval. So let’s not lose our focus here. It’s people, fallible, wrong-headed, unscrupulous and deeply misguided people, who are to blame for what is indeed a sorry, sorry affair. And we all know all too well who those people are.

I’ve got no problem with the Yorkshire Evening Post, or any other reputable paper, shouting from the rooftops for justice, whether it be for Lucy Ward, the United fans or Leeds United itself. More power to their elbows, I say. Good on them. But, please, YEP – keep your aim true and don’t be led down side alleys of deflected blame. Because, when you say “But this sorry saga isn’t about just about Mr. Cellino alone“, you make a very basic and damaging mistake. This sorry saga is about Mr. Cellino alone. He is the sole arbiter of club policy and the buck should rightly stop with him. He may even have some dim awareness himself of this; he was certainly noticeable by his absence for the Tribunal verdict.

Cellino has the attitude of the French king who proclaimed L’Etat, c’est moi. (I am the State). Louis XIV established absolute monarchy in France, and left his descendants to pay the price to Madame la Guillotine. This is what makes those of us calling for Cellino’s head feel that we have a point – there’s that same arrogant “don’t blame me, just obey me” feeling about the Italian. To say that the club as an entity should take even a morsel of blame for his failures and wrongdoings is not only a category mistake – it’s damned unfair. Let’s be in no doubt that Cellino is the proper recipient of all the blame. Newspapers, and indeed Tribunal judges, should know better than to suggest otherwise.

Ask Lucy Ward, who has suffered grossly unfair treatment at the hands of a sexist nutcase whilst working at the club she loves and has served so well. She knows who is to blame, as she knew all along. She’s seen to it that the relevant people will be held to account – not the bricks and mortar, glory and history, blood, sweat and tears of Leeds United Football Club. In this, she may well have done our beloved United a great service, somewhere down the line.

In a nutshell, then: Owners may come and owners may go, with their associated scandals and baggage. But Leeds United is still Leeds United, and always shall be. Let that be properly understood.

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Leeds Utd Needs More Than Just Major Investment for Success – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 12/04/2016 | 11 comments

doing a leeds

As Leeds United head for Birmingham tonight, for what we all hope and trust is another meaningless game in our “beautiful” Championship season, the thoughts of many will be directed towards what is needed in order to avoid a repeat next season of what has been, in reality, another pallid and frustrating bore-fest for Whites fans. Most will rightly focus on player recruitment, and that will certainly be a challenge that Leeds must meet head-on. But it’s also fair to say that there’s much more to put right before we can realistically hope for on-field success.

With relegation to League One now increasingly unlikely and the play-offs a distant dream, it’s probably time for the seasonal post-mortem to begin. Any assessment of what went wrong must surely encompass yet another early-season sacking for the “head coach”, throwing away any strategic plan which may have emerged from the vital pre-season training period. So, yet again, there was a new man in charge before the campaign had even begun to take shape; a new coach, unfamiliar with his charges – who were not, in any event, his own choices. On top of the unwisely optimistic close season predictions about how much we were all going to enjoy 2015-16, such early disruption cannot have been helpful to the playing and coaching staff as they set about competing with better-prepared clubs.

The problem now is that there is most likely going to be further such disruption in the near future. Rumours of Steve Evans‘ imminent dismissal refuse to go away – and, sad to say, many Leeds fans are champing at the bit for this to happen. The United fans can be a funny lot. They can frequently be heard moaning about a manager who is deemed to have failed in the short term, and too many of these fans – especially the vociferous Twitter lot – seem to have bought into an increasingly crazy hire-and-fire policy. Yet the perceived wisdom relating to football management emphasises the acute need for continuity and stability at a club hoping to be successful. And, the more you think about this, the more it makes sense.

Any club that establishes itself as favouring a managerial revolving-door policy is, historically, a lot less likely to succeed than one which is prepared to be patient. The patient club will have players who know what they’re working with and who will, therefore, be more likely to knuckle down and accept the training and tactical regimen they’re presented with. But a club like Leeds, where managers frequently last for a shorter period than a sunny spell in Manchester, really has to expect a different frame of mind among its playing staff. The players will be thinking, or perhaps subconsciously feeling, “This guy won’t last any longer than the others. Why bust our balls for him? Let’s just tick over and pick up the salary cheques“. It doesn’t take too much of this kind of attitude, in a game where the margins between success and failure are tighter than ever, to effectively hamstring the whole operation. Lo and behold, you have an under-achieving club. This is the Leeds United we have been following for the past several years.

At some point, under some or other ownership, Leeds are going to have to identify their man, and then stick with him unless truly dire circumstances dictate otherwise. And the players are going to have to be left in no doubt that this is the case, in order to encourage a more professional approach in a more stable and secure atmosphere. Fans’ criticism of the manager should not be heeded if at all possible. As fans, we are simply not well enough informed, not knowledgeable enough about the goings-on behind the scenes, to call it correctly in the matter of whether or not a manager’s course is run. We’ve had so many managers in the past few seasons. Are they really all failures? Look at the job Neil Warnock is doing now at Rotherham. And, apparently, Evans himself is in demand among rival Championship clubs, in the event of him being kicked out of Leeds. Are his suitors wrong? How much longer can we at Leeds continue with such a very volatile policy? The definition of insanity is “To keep doing the same thing and expect different results“.

Our club will certainly not be able to mount a promotion challenge on a shoestring budget. One of the things that United are going to have to embrace is the need to speculate, in order to accumulate. This will be particularly applicable next season when, besides the challenge presented by the usual suspects in this league, we’re going to have to compete with (in all likelihood) Newcastle and Sunderland as well as the already doomed Aston Villa. These are all massive, well-resourced and well-supported clubs, with an enormous advantage afforded to them by Premier League parachute payments. Add in the likes of Sheffield Wednesday, Derby County and even Nottingham Forest – and next season’s dog-eat dog-fight will be even more rabidly competitive than usual. The prize, though, is truly massive. Whoever goes up this season or next will be transported into a whole different class of financial support. The Sky, quite literally, will be the limit – and clubs like Leeds are equipped to derive the maximum benefit.

Leeds United, after so long in the doldrums, must at the very least be competitive next season. We have to be involved, and at the right end of the league. Fan apathy and in-fighting are already dominant features of a once fiercely United support; these are symptoms of terminal decay. No matter how big the football giant, no matter how glorious the golden history, no club can survive as a force in the game with the sort of inertia Leeds have settled for over the past few seasons. So it’s imperative that United make the kind of policy decision they took under Leslie Silver‘s stewardship 27 years ago in the summer of 1989. Manager Howard Wilkinson laid it on the line as to what was needed – and the board under Silver, to their eternal credit, drew a deep collective breath and went for it, in a big way. But they were also prepared to put their trust in their manager, and stick with him, deferring to the professional football man in matters relating to football and footballers. The rewards Leeds reaped from this enlightened and far-sighted policy are now a matter of history and of treasured memories for so many of us who go back that far.

Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything calls upon Leeds United to make the necessary investment (net investment, not merely the partial reinvestment of proceeds accruing from the sale of youth policy diamonds). That will provide the tools to at least tackle the job. But, before a penny is spent, the club has to commit itself to a division of responsibility between football and company matters; they have to appoint and stick with a skillful CEO to lessen the damaging public impact of more maverick forces within the club; above all they have to commit to a manager, or head coach, or whatever label you might wish to stick on the guy – and they have to trust and put their faith in him. He must not be sniped at, he must not be publicly undermined, he must not have his hands tied in matters of player recruitment, team selection or any other area that is properly the province of a football manager in this country.

It will also be vital for the infrastructure of the club to be overhauled and restored to a “fit for purpose” status. Horror stories are emerging from the Industrial Tribunal currently proceeding, which is looking into the circumstances surrounding the departure from the club of Lucy Ward. Wherever your sympathies might reside in that matter, some of the details emerging must be seen as deeply, deeply worrying. Sickness among junior players and staff following the sacking of club cleaners. The training complex consequently shut down for deep cleaning, sundry other staff including security staff dismissed, their functions shared out among other employees whose own responsibilities already fully occupied them. If even half of this is true, it all points to the need for a broken club to be mended, and pronto.

There’s so little time and opportunity in the world of professional football to do anything other than try like crazy to keep going, keep fighting, keep your head above the water. Leeds United has been failing in these respects for far too long, and it’s been tragic to behold for anyone who has the club at heart – anyone who truly loves everything about Elland Road and those white shirts. It’s heartbreaking, really – and the pain is compounded by the amount of wrangling among people of different views regarding some aspects of the club – though they all love Leeds United. That in-fighting in itself is a bad sign, a symptom of the sickness at the heart of the club. And it’s for the club now to sort itself out, to put itself in a position where it can once more be proud and competitive. And this has to be done now, while there is still time.

Because, however much and deeply thousands upon thousands of people undoubtedly care about United – another season or two like this one, and there may not be much left to care about.

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Some Encouragement in Defeat at Burnley for Leeds United   –   by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 11/04/2016 | 8 comments

Burnley v Leeds

When Leeds United‘s defence stood politely aside to allow Burnley’s Scott Arfield to score in the first minute of Saturday’s early Championship encounter at Turf Moor, it looked like a long lunchtime ahead for long-suffering Whites fans. And, ultimately, a defeat is a defeat – even by that solitary goal. It’s clearly never welcome. But the way this game panned out carried more than a little encouragement for Steve Evans‘ troops, and for that loyal travelling army. Credit too, to Steve Evans, much maligned by a section of the Leeds support and in the most ignorant and offensive manner. Evans has retained his dignity in the face of this, and he was there in the dugout – despite a family bereavement – as enthusiastic in the cause as ever.

The fact is that the dread prospect of a couple of hours watching Silvestri pick Burnley goals out of his net never actually transpired. Over the piece, as Leeds grew into the game instead of reeling from that early shock, it was United who carried the greater threat. They had more of the possession, found better spaces, forced more corners and generally bossed proceedings – save for that annoying little habit of failing throughout to trouble the scorers.

The devil, as they say, is in the detail. The only detail anyone’s ever really bothered about at the end of a football match, is that telltale scoreline to indicate who got the points. Burnley added three of those valuable items to their league total as they consolidated their position at the top of the league. But almost every other aspect of this match could easily have had you fooled as to which of these teams is sitting proudly astride the Championship.

The tragedy for Leeds on the day was their lack of a decisive finish to so much good work. On many another occasion, Chris Wood – still rusty after a long injury absence – would have had at least two goals to help rehabilitate his season. Looking at the plus side, he was at least actually there to miss the chances, an important part of any striker’s CV. Less positively, he certainly should have snapped them both up, and he will know he has no excuses. There are reasons though – form, confidence, match sharpness. In time, this burly young striker will hit a real hot streak. Will that be in a Leeds United shirt, though? Only time and perhaps the attitude of the less patient Leeds fans will help decide that.

On this occasion, and in marked contrast to many recent performances, I feel that Evans has much to take from the game. Sadly, that doesn’t include any points, despite the fact that United deserved something from a match they dominated for long spells. But, at this stage of our promised “beautiful” season, the ugly truth is that points are not all that relevant. The threat of relegation is almost gone, and any fanciful ideas of play-off chances have long since been laughed out of court. It’s evidence that Leeds can perform as a team that matters now – and there was plenty of that at Turf Moor.

The sooner yet another bleakly disappointing season is over, with United safe for another year, the better. Then, it’ll just be a matter of waiting for the positive spin to start emerging from Elland Road, with “We’re looking to get our business done early” the ante post favourite. For the time being, let’s be grateful for the extremely small mercy of a decent performance, albeit in defeat. 

For Leeds United fans, in these bleak and troubled times, that’s about as good as it gets. 

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Why Would ANY True Leeds Fan Trust In a Man Like Cellino? – by Rob Atkinson

Posted on 04/04/2016 | 47 comments
MASSIMO-CELLINO

il Loco himself

Possibly the most startling thing so far about the reign of Massimo Cellino at Leeds United, is that he enjoys the continued faith and support of a vociferous minority of United fans who still insist that the Italian has “saved” the club. That this misguided loyalty is based almost entirely on smoke and mirrors is clear enough to the rest of us, and indeed we are inclined to marvel at the hopeless naivety of a group which seems willing – indeed, remorselessly determined – to overlook so much on the debit side of il Duce‘s ledger. It is for this reason that the majority of Leeds fans, those eager to see Cellino go, are wont to refer to the minority inexplicably keen to keep him in charge as “Flat Earthers“.

A few salient facts and quotes should be enough to justify the question in the headline of this piece: why would any true United fan want to keep this mendacious chancer in the owner’s chair? For instance, there’s this glowing endorsement of then Head Coach Neil Redfearn on May 7th last year: “I am in love with Neil and I don’t want to talk to anyone else about the job. I have always believed in him and I gave him his big chance”. Ten days on, and Cellino’s ardour had cooled dramatically: “Neil Redfearn does the (Leeds fans’) salute. He challenged me. If you are good I can accept the challenge. But not if you are a bad coach. He has to respect the chairman. He has to respect the club. He’s like a baby. He’s been badly advised and used by someone. He is not a bad person but he has a weak personality”.

Dear me. Where to start? For one thing, any true Leeds fan would confirm that doing the Leeds Salute is perhaps the best single way of showing respect for the club. As for respect for the chairman, or President, or Captain on the Bridge, or whatever he chooses to call himself on any given day – well, that has to be earned. And Cellino did precious little in the course of that outburst, or at any other time in his tenure, to earn anyone’s respect – let alone that of a grizzled old football pro like Redfearn. To refer to a current employee as a baby, and a weak personality, shows Cellino in the worst possible light and certainly does not merit respect. Not from the most deluded fan. And to view the Leeds salute as a challenge to himself personally serves to expose the egocentric, narcissistic personality of the Italian. It’s all about Massimo, you see. Woe betide any mere employee who shall presume to usurp his imagined place in the fans’ affections. Houston – the Ego has landed.

In between those two wildly varying quotes from Cellino, in that ten day gap during which he fell out of love with Redfearn (and Neil went from being believed in to being a baby with a weak personality) il Duce had indulged in a 70 minute car-crash of a press conference to mark the return to Elland Road of newly-appointed Executive Director Adam Pearson. That cringe-fest of a press event also featured the mockery of Redfearn’s Leeds Salute and, additionally, of its use by United fans. Normally, any such lack of respect for such an institution of the club as our trademark salute would be enough to have the offender marked for severe disapproval and censure by a constituency of at least 20,000. Given such alarmingly unbalanced and erratic behaviour, pockmarked with instances of what amount to virtual treason – how the hell does Cellino retain any support at all? Is it merely pigheaded stubbornness – or has it descended to outright stupidity?

Perhaps the most damning indictment of the disaster which has been Cellino’s tenure at the club is the following list. It is a list of senior staff who have been fired by the owner, or who have otherwise departed during what is still a fairly short reign. But it’s not a short list:

Brian McDermott, Nigel Gibbs, Richard Naylor, Leigh Bromby, Andy Leaning, Paul Dews, Benito Carbone, Graham Bean, David Hockaday, Junior Lewis, Darko Milanic, Novika Nikcevic, Matt Child, Steve Thompson, Nicola Salerno, Neil Redfearn, Steve Holmes, Steve Head, Martyn Glover, Lucy Ward, Matt Peers, Adam Pearson, Uwe Rosler, Julian Darby, Rob Kelly, Paul Hart.

Some of those names will be unlamented by many Leeds fans. Others – Steve Thompson, Adam Pearson and recent departure Paul Hart, to name but three – represent a real loss and a further stage in the downward spiral of team performance. But the sheer number of departures surely has to reflect on the wisdom and judgement of the man at the top. That would apply to any organisation of this size and profile. There is also the question of the cumulative cost to the club of severance, compensation, gagging orders, etc. etc. It’s a damning litany of failure and – in the opinion of Life, Leeds United, the Universe & Everything – it damns Cellino far more effectively than could any of the imaginary demons that seem to haunt this strange and superstitious man.

As I mentioned earlier, the one thing that characterises the pro-Cellino minority – apart from their apparent lack of any judgement, or pride in what Leeds United used to stand for – is the vocal and outspoken tone of their dogged support for their deeply flawed “hero”. I’ve seen evidence of this whenever I’ve written an article that is seen to be critical of the owner. And yet I would welcome their input on this latest piece as I am genuinely, profoundly puzzled as to why – why?? – and how they feel able to retain faith in a man capable of the kind of crazy, schizo behaviour referred to above. And, remember, that was no exhaustive list of the man’s nuttiness. There has been much, much more, all of it well documented. So tell me, guys – why?

It would be interesting and instructive to hear some points of view, particularly as this whole “praise, damn, knife in the back then sack” cycle appears to be on the point of repeating itself for a second time since the demise of Redfearn. Don’t just rant on Facebook – stand up and be counted. But – keep it clean and decent, though. Please. It’d make a pleasant change, after so much vicious abuse in the past, to hear from a Flat Earther who doesn’t actually sound like one.

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