Tag Archives: soccer

Somma Time Some Way Off for Leeds United – by Rob Atkinson

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As rumours of an impending “high profile loan signing” continue to waft around Elland Road, there is also news of the possible return of an old favourite, a star that shone so bright and yet so briefly, a man who stood out as an instinctive finisher one moment and then collapsed as a serial treatment-room habitué the next. Davide Somma, powerhouse striker and ruptured cruciate victim extraordinaire, is on the brink of another comeback. Could these two rumours somehow be related? As “Private Eye” would agree, I think we should be told.

Somma appeared to have earned himself such a bright future with his gamble on the price of a transatlantic air ticket to seek his footballing fortune. A successful trial, a contract and a flurry of goals – some bearing the unmistakable hallmark of class and composure – and the world was the likeable hitman’s lobster, or so it seemed. Then, injury, rehabilitation, setbacks, the cycle of despair. His hopes shattered, his prospects doomed, Somma fell out of contract in June. And yet he’s now back at United, seeking to prove his fitness – and who knows? The dreaded cruciate injury is not the football career’s death-knell it once was. A nifty bit of key-holing and a man can be fit for purpose again. Look at Gazza. Well, maybe that’s not the best example of redemption – but he came back from a wrecked knee to play for England again, didn’t he? Of course he did.

The thing about Somma is – good though it would be to see him back at his best and bunging in the goals for Leeds United – it’s all about context. In the club’s current straits, there really is an injection of top-class ability needed, both in a supply-line of chances and a taker of them too.

The cropping-up of Somma’s name just now has to be purely incidental to more urgent requirements. It couldn’t really be that our high-profile loan will come from the physio department of the local orthopaedic hospital. We need more of a Sharp than a Somma right now to salvage the hopes of this season. And despite the seeming prevalence of them in and around Leeds United, we could do with a Burke too. Birmingham’s tricky winger looks ever more a snip at £600k, but that boat has probably sailed.

The news that Davide Somma may yet be on the verge of a return to fitness, with the potential to function as a professional footballer is good and welcome. If such a comeback from apparently career-ending injury is ultimately to the benefit of Leeds, then so much the better. But the fact that social media outlets are currently all a-Twitter with hopes that Somma might be the saviour we need right now – that surely must be a rumour too far.

The very best of luck to the lad in his latest attempt to regain fitness – and thousands will be hoping he can fulfil his early, rich promise in a Leeds United shirt. But our immediate salvation must surely lie elsewhere.

Premier League Set to Make Life Easier for Man U and Moyes – by Rob Atkinson

Man U line up reluctantly before having to play Man City

Man U line up reluctantly before having to play Man City

After a lengthy period of consideration following the remarks of Man U boss David Moyes on the eve of the season, the FA Premier League are set to act in recognition that the Biggest Club in the Universe have, after all, been unfairly treated.

Moyes had been annoyed that the Greater Manchester club, often fondly known by enemies and foes alike as the “Pride of Devon”, had been “dealt with as if we were just any club.” His complaint concerned the opening five games of the season, with Man U facing three clubs that they were scared of in the first five fixtures. “It was plainly unfair,” said the irate Scum boss. “Historically, this club deserve better than the treatment just any old club gets. Don’t listen to me, ask the gentlemen that edit the Mirror, Sun and Mail. Ask Sky TV. They’re all horrified at how we’ve just been lumped in with all the rest, let me tell you.”

Now the FA are set to take decisive action in the face of what are being seen as compelling arguments. “Mr Moyes has a point,” an ashen spokesperson said, yesterday. “We’ve perhaps taken our eye off the ball here, and maybe we’ve forgotten just who we’re dealing with.”

Unfortunately, it has been thought “too controversial” to expunge the results of the games concerned – Man U lost to Liverpool and Man City and could only just scrape a draw at home to Chelsea. “Unsatisfactory though it may be,” the FA announced, “these results will have to stand. However, we have ruled that it wouldn’t be fair to ask Man U to play these clubs again this season. We have decided therefore that we – ahem, they – will play Bury at home instead of City, Tranmere at home instead of Liverpool and Barnet away instead of Chelsea. The two scheduled Arsenal games will feature Arsenal Ladies, and instead of playing Spurs home and away, Man U will face a Showbiz XI captained by Mick Hucknall.”

David Moyes has cautiously welcomed what some may see as quite a generous gesture on the part of the game’s ruling body. “I can’t really agree it’s generous,” he snapped. “We dropped 8 points in those three games, and it seems we’re not getting them back. That’s nothing short of scandalous. We’ll just get on with it though as we always do at this club. At least it’s given us some scope to redress the balance a bit. We might have only got a point or two from that unfair run of fixtures if something hadn’t been done – now I’m confident we’ll get three or four. We at Man U will just hope the game’s authorities get it right first time in the future. All we ask is for our own way in everything.”

In a joint expression of regret and apology, BSkyB and the FA have asked Man U for their forgiveness in this sorry episode. “We are fully aware of the commercial implications of Man U failing to do well,” says the statement, in part. “We’ve seen the sales projections for Man U tat and Sky dishes in hotbeds like Cornwall and Kent and how business drops off if our heroes lose. Believe us, we’ll be extending the hand of friendship and help to Man U at every opportunity. As part of this, we can give assurances that the latest “New George Best”, Adnan Januzaj will not face any disciplinary action for his future dives to win penalties. Yesterday’s incident was an unfortunate misunderstanding, and the officials concerned have been disciplined.”

In a further gesture of support, the FA have agreed to expunge all Title records prior to 1993, send their referees on refresher courses at Man U’s Carrington Training Complex and deduct 15 league points from Leeds United with immediate effect.

Sepp Blatter “Seeks More Time” Over Qatar World Cup ’22 Details – by Rob Atkinson

Sepp Blatter wondering whether a brewery is a good place for a piss-up, yesterday

Sepp Blatter wondering whether a brewery is a good place for a piss-up, yesterday

FIFA has confirmed that the 2022 World Cup Finals tournament will take place in Qatar after all.  There will however be no final decision on the actual timing of the tournament until after the 2014 tournament in Brazil. A well-funded, well-fed and self-important FIFA Commission, possibly including vocal opponents of a winter World Cup, has been planned “to carry out very deep consultations and investigations and show some diplomacy and wisdom” a FIFA spokesperson stated, with a commendably straight face.

The latest decisions and non-decisions have been made in spite of shock information that has slowly seeped into the heads of FIFA President Sepp Blatter and other officials since December 2010 when the event was originally awarded to the middle-eastern oil state, which has been ruled absolutely by the Al Thani family since the mid-1800s.  These shattering revelations include the news that;

  • Qatar gets quite warm in the summertime;
  • Alternative times of the year, whilst cooler (merely “bloody hot” as opposed to “blood-boilingly impossible, even for a camel“), are inconveniently taken up with league programmes in the world’s major football-playing countries;
  • Migrant workers are routinely having their rights abused;
  • There have been instances of deaths on World Cup-related construction sites.

Mr Blatter has stated that he has “sympathy and regret for anything that happens in any country where there are deaths on construction sites, especially when they are related to a World Cup.”  But he feels that such considerations must not be allowed to get in the way of his vision for football. “The Fifa World Cup 2022 will be played in Qatar. There you have it.”

Such an autocratic approach has been welcomed by the authorities in Qatar itself, where this is pretty much how they run things all the time.  The state is ruled absolutely by Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani who seized power in 1995.  Corporal and capital punishment continue to be practised, and several elements of the Western way of life are severely proscribed, including sexual orientation and freedom of expression.  A Qatari poet Mohammed al-Ajami, also known as Mohammed Ibn al-Dheeb was handed a life sentence, apparently simply for words he has uttered or written.  FIFA have either been aware of all of these factors at all relevant times since 2010, or have become aware of them since – but there is no indication that their decision has been in any way affected, beyond Mr Blatter’s “regrets”.

The area of labour is similarly fraught.  Many cases of ill-treatment of immigrant labour have been observed. Qatar does not maintain wage standards for its immigrant labour. Under the provisions of Qatar’s sponsorship law, sponsors have the unilateral power to cancel workers’ residency permits, deny workers’ ability to change employers, report a worker as “absconded” to police authorities, and deny permission to leave the country. As a result, sponsors may restrict workers’ movements and workers may be afraid to report abuses or claim their rights.  It’s a system thought to be much-admired by some Cabinet Members in the UK’s coalition government, though nobody has been available to comment upon this.

One fact that may well have had some bearing on the FIFA stance is that Qatar has proven reserves of oil and natural gas, putting the state at the top of Forbes’ list of the world’s richest countries.

FIFA: “Putting money and commercial opportunism ahead of liberty and human rights since 1904”

The answer to the Leeds United goal scoring problem is a proper striker.

Another good read from Michael Green, late of ClarkeOneNil, now back in circulation on Lee Chapman’s Sofa, as it were. This article presents the case for Luciano Becchio of blessed memory as a “proper striker” as opposed to the frontmen we have now. The dissertation on what constitutes a “proper striker” is compelling stuff; Becchio’s scoring rate towards the end of his time at Elland Road certainly begs for his inclusion in that category, yet those goal-scoring instincts don’t appear to have served him well at Naaaaaaarritch Ciddy. And yet I remember that instinctive movement that enabled him to score at the near post against Chelsea last season in the League Cup. In that instant, he looked the real deal, right enough. Perhaps he was just more at home in LS11, and didn’t know it? Now, languishing some way short of the first XI at Carrow Road, complications of wages and transfer fees have cropped up as impediments to his path back to Leeds. It’s all quite frustrating.

I’d have also argued for the “proper striker” candidacy of Craig Mackail-Smith (Brighton) – not sure whether he fits the Luciano mould, but he’s such a pest to play against for opposing defenders, and he does seem to have that knack of nipping in for a decisive last touch into the net, certainly when the opposition is Leeds, against whom he always scores. Sadly CMS is sidelined with a serious achilles injury, and at 29 you have to ask whether he’ll be quite the same player again.

Whatever the case, it promises to be an interesting next couple of weeks, with Mr Nooruddin having been smoked out to a certain extent into conceding a ralaxation of the previous “one out, one in” policy that so hamstrung Brian in the recent window proper. Meanwhile as MG suggests, the perfect candidate might just be a frustrated and under-employed Argentinian, just waiting for the chance to come back home to Elland Road. We shall see.

After the Lord Mayor’s X-Rated Show as Exhausted Millwall Capitulate to Birmingham – by Rob Atkinson

Those Cheeky, Chirpy Millwall Chaps Amuse Themselves at Wembley

Those Cheeky, Chirpy Millwall Chaps Amuse Themselves at Wembley

We’ve seen it all before of course.  Some daft little chavvy club from the back of beyond get all worked up, bless ’em, about the prospect of playing Yorkshire giants Leeds United – all that history of achievement, all that tradition and global support – and they bust a gut, strain every sinew and try their little hearts out.  Backed by a flaky bunch of tribesmen from whatever godawful hole they represent, they raise themselves to twice-a-season heights.  Thus charged with fervent and passionate determination, they do it – they beat Leeds United, aided by our favourites’ occasional ineptitude when it comes to facing determined yet tiny opposition.  All very embarrassing.  But we know we’ll be wryly amused by what invariably comes next.

The little club relish the glory of their hard-won victory.  They can think of little else, and the praise of their manager and coaches, their fans and their big game hangers-on, washes over them like a warm ocean in which to bask under the sunshine of achievement.  We beat Leeds, we did it – but God, we’re knackered.  And there’s another game a few days down the line…

Reality bites.  The little club’s little players and their greatly-reduced band of supporters – unwelcome anywhere outside of their own early 20th century ghetto – head off for the next fixture.  There, wiped out, exhausted, nothing in the tank because they’ve given it all, they abjectly fail, surrendering meekly before the opposition they have no power to resist. They lose, heavily.  The manager is disappointed, the fans have fallen heavily back to earth.  They half-expected it anyway.  But what the hell – they beat Leeds and what a performance THAT was.  No wonder they’d nothing left.

I’ve seen it happen time and time again.  This is what the name of Leeds United means. This is what the history behind the badge says to the teams we face nowadays.  We’re a scalp, and they’ll give it all, 110 percent, Brian, anything so that they can beat us.  It’s got to the stage now whereby, every time we lose to one of these comical yonner teams – and it happens far too often – I look for their next result.  It’s amazing how often I can predict it: they’ll be knackered, they’ll get nothing there.  It’s funny how often I’m right. Normally I’ll just shrug and think that we have to learn to deal with these adrenalin junkies when we play them instead of just softening them up for the next lot.  But this time, there’s a thrill of satisfaction.

Because this time it’s poxy bloody Millwall.  Horrible, repellent, disgusting Millwall, late of Cold Blow Lane and that smelly slagheap of a ground where the bricks used to fly and the home crowd rioted among themselves behind netting because their own fellow fans were all they could find to fight.  Unpleasant, racist, evil Millwall, who moved from an old Den to a New one, made of Meccano, resplendent in tacky placky blue seats – and improved not a jot in the process.  Sick, gloating, shameful Millwall who won’t let go of their pastime of celebrating violent death and taunting the bereaved extended family at every opportunity.  Millwall, the stain on the game.  They beat Leeds last Saturday and partied hearty.  Then they went to Birmingham on Tuesday evening and got well and truly stuffed 4-0, having left all their blood sweat and tears in the mud and grass of the field where they played The Whites.  I could have warned them it would happen.  They possibly feel it was worth it, to beat Leeds United.  It’s the price of fame, though of course, we’re “not famous any more”.  Yeah, right. Anyhow, it’s back to reality for Millwall and their nauseating, cowardly fans.  Suck it up.

The aftermath of the Leeds game in South Bermondsey has been predictable too.  I published a blog on the morning of the match, alerted by the bile and gut-wrenching hatred on Twitter that the morons and the cretins were up for a party during the game. Very swiftly, I was inundated with threatening messages of hate and imbecility, mostly unfit to print.  Some – a few – were from clearly educated people and even they reduced the issue to “well you lot have sung about Munich for years”.  The more I argued that a minority did that, years ago and that it has now largely stopped, the more I kept getting the same refrain, in amongst all the vicious threats of retribution and violence: “Pot, kettle, black”.  And these were the intelligent ones.  Some posed as Leeds fans, pretending to condemn from within the offended support.  Some tried to trick my address out of me. I had to change my blog settings, such was the tsunami of filth.   All for complaining about the number of appalling tweets that morning and for predicting that the afternoon’s fixture would be infected by the usual, awful, gloating references to the murders in Istanbul.

And, lo – it came to pass.  The police had promised to take action if, as in previous years, there was offensive chanting. They failed to keep that promise.  The stewards stood idly by, bovine and uncaring, just as they had at Wembley last April when these animals fought each other during an FA Cup semi-final, heedless of crying children, drunk on bloodlust, savage and ignorant, reckless of consequences or what the civilised world might think.  It happened against Leeds as we knew it would, the sick chanting, the salivating over violent death.  But now Leeds supporters organised under a unifying banner are demanding some action.

The Leeds United Supporters Trust (LUST) have issued a statement summarising the events of the day at Millwall, and asking for witnesses as to the nature and extent of any offensive chanting, with any video captures particularly welcomed.  LUST also intend to make representations to Millwall FC and to the Metropolitan Police.  The message to those who behave in this appalling manner is: we will not stand idly by and let you get away with it.  Pressure will be exerted on the relevant authorities to identify offenders and to deal with them to the full extent of the law.  Clicking on this link will present a variety of options for responding to LUST’s call for help.

Naturally, I hope that LUST are successful in obtaining some action against the lowlife scum who perpetrate these obscenities on such a regular basis.  But I shall not be living in hope, nor holding my breath.  The casually indifferent attitude of police and matchday security staff alike speaks of an acceptance that this is just the way things are in the cesspool that houses these people.  It’s not good enough – but it seems to be the case. Millwall FC and its fans evidently inhabit a grubby little bubble of the past, where the improvements in behaviour and in the attitudes of rival fans towards each other have failed to penetrate.  It is tempting to say that I hope this will not remain the case, but I’m not entirely sure I mean it.  It would be better, perhaps, for such a very backward lot to remain separated from proper football fans.  Maybe the best thing of all would be just to get rid of Millwall FC altogether.  After all, if you cut the head off the snake, you render it harmless.  It seems to me that that’s the best way to go.

Mighty Leeds Crush 10-man Cherries Despite Penalty Miss – by Rob Atkinson

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Sometimes a hard-earned result after a run of defeats can do the trick, reinvigorate a team, instil confidence and set them on a much more positive run.  Sometimes.  There must be some doubt as to whether this struggle to beat a Bournemouth team reduced to 10 men after only just over half an hour will do that trick, inspiration-wise.  The initial lift provided by Cherries goalkeeper Ryan Allsop’s dismissal for a professional foul was immediately negated when Ross McCormack missed the resultant penalty, sub keeper Darryl Flahavan saving the Scot’s weakish effort.  That “here we go again” gloom descended on Elland Road and the two teams headed in at half time level.

The second half was better in a way it couldn’t really help but be after the disappointment of the first.  The usual procession of half-chances and fluffed shots had in the end come to a familiar outcome: no goals for Leeds.  The deadlock though was broken when Bournemouth’s depleted side finally cracked as McCormack got onto the end of a Stephen Warnock low pass to sweep the ball past Flahavan from close range.  Leeds had been somewhat more effective since the Cherries had been reduced to ten, and the feeling was that they could now go on to capitalise.

Typically though, it would not be that simple.  Another set-piece to defend on 73 minutes, another awful mix-up at the back for Leeds as Eunan O’Kane headed on for Lewis Grabban to equalise. 1-1 and Leeds were threatening to throw away at least two points. That impression was reinforced when Flahavan then produced a one-handed save to deny Rudy Austin, but after 80 minutes of embarrassingly tense struggle, former Bournemouth defender Jason Pearce managed to knock the ball down for sub Dom Poleon to lash in the winner.

It was the kind of game that could so easily have proved a disaster for Leeds, even at this early stage of the season.  The psychological import of failing to win against ten men, on the end of such a dismal run too, was too horrible to contemplate. As it was, United prevailed and they can draw a line under this performance and move on.  Things will need to be a lot better against Derby at the weekend if the Whites are to build on this less than convincing win.

Manuel Pellegrini vows to go for Champions League jugular as Man City host Bayern Munich

City are as well-equipped to succeed in Europe as they have ever been, and should fear no-one, certainly not Bayern. They should be able to build on an emphatic opening to their Champions League campaign by edging this one.

The Tipster: Dark clouds continue to hang over Manchester City and Manchester United ahead of tomorrow’s Champions League jaunts

I see the point – but I feel given the result in the recent derby clash between the two Manc clubs, it’s the reds who have more to worry about than the blues.

Back in the Leeds United blog mix because the idiocy never goes away

A widely-heard Leeds fan voice that had seemed lost has thankfully returned. ClarkeOneNil is sadly no more. Read the reincarnation on Lee Chapman’s Sofa!

Proud Dad Suárez Bites Back at the Double as Liverpool Resume Premier Challenge – by Rob Atkinson

Suárez dedicates goal to new baby son Benja

Suárez dedicates goal to new baby son Benja

The footballer so many love to hate, nasty Suárez, “racist” Suárez, mad-dog Suárez, call him what you like (and the sanctimonious tendency among football fans need no undue persuasion) showed a soft and squishy side to his nature after his comeback goal on Sunday, the first of a brace which helped resurgent Liverpool dispatch rock-bottom Sunderland.  After tapping the ball into the Wearsiders’ net to make the score 2-0 to the Reds, Luis Suárez raised his Liverpool top to reveal an undershirt with the legend “Welcome Benja” inscribed thereon; a warm “Hello, son” to his new baby boy, born last Thursday.

It’s a heart-warming tale, but nevertheless many will maintain the set of their lips in a thin, disapproving line.  Bad boy Luis has been a sinner many times since his entrance into English football, but it’s also the case that he’s provided many illuminating moments of skill amounting to genius.  The more tolerant in the football family might find it in their forgiving natures to concede that the balance is marginally on the credit side of the ledger.  Though his sins are like scarlet, or at least like a Liverpool red, yet shall they be as white as snow.  Or so the Good Book sort of says.

It was the striking partner of Suárez who came closest to “sinner” status at the Stadium of Light, the ball flying in for Liverpool’s opener, not as intended off Daniel Sturridge’s head, but rather off the top of his arm.  It was deemed an accidental contact, the goal stood and Liverpool were on their way to a victory that became less comfortable the longer the match went on.  Sturridge it was who provided the cross for the second goal, darting into a half yard of space near the goal-line to spear a low cross which Suárez, Johnny-on-the-spot, buried with ease.  Sunderland had contributed plenty of effort to the first half, playing a high pressing game, and the two incisions which saw them behind at the interval were perhaps slightly rough justice.

In the second half, Sunderland’s hard work continued and eventually earned them a glimmer of hope when ex-Black Cat Simon Mignolet in the Liverpool goal could only parry a stinging shot from outside the area. Emanuele Giaccherini snapped up the resulting rebound chance with glee and Sunderland were back in business.  The home side were reinvigorated by the breakthrough, as tends to be the case and a new purpose showed in their attacking play. Liverpool were pressed back for a spell and endured their most worrying period of the match, until a swift break saw Sturridge in space on the left, enabling him to pull the ball back from the byline for that man Suárez to apply a deadly finish and wrap the proceedings up at 3-1.

Of the main title contenders, it’s been a good weekend for Arsenal and Liverpool, not so good for Spurs and Chelsea and pretty disastrous for Manchester City.  Unbeaten Everton still lurk around unbeaten, threatening to gatecrash the elite pack.  It promises to be a tight race for the honours at the top of the Premier League – and Liverpool, with Suárez ebullient, seem determined to have a big say right to the end, just as in the old days.  For managerless Sunderland, rooted to the top-flight basement with just one solitary point to show for the season so far, the future looks a whole lot bleaker.