The Spygate furore continues to divide football people, with fans and pundits alike taking entrenched positions either side of the common sense threshold. Despite the emotive nature of the argument, arising out of the emotional nature of the initial complainant, Derby’s Frank Lampard, the exchanges have remained mostly courteous. But there’s always the exception, which brings me on to Stan Collymore.
Stan is well known for a tendency to use force when his brain runs out of ideas – just as long as the recipient of the violence is unable, for gender reasons, to hit back. This was amply demonstrated when Stan was somehow upset in a Paris bar by his then girlfriend Ulrika Jonsson. With Ulrika being both female and on the petite side, Stan saw no reason to mess about and nothing to fear, so he used his hands to settle his girlfriend’s hash good and proper. Brave man! When this incident crops up these days, Stan likes to remind people that Ulrika sustained no bruising which, in Collymore’s bizarre world, seems to make it all ok.
Stan is also fond of reminding people who disapprove of violence towards women that he has suffered from depression and a borderline personality disorder – but, sadly for the hero of the airwaves, some appear to feel that’s no excuse. Collymore still gets upset though, when anyone has the temerity to refer to that time he hit Ulrika, and he still likes to hint at dishing out the treatment in cases where it appears safe to do so.
Accordingly, when a Leeds United tweeter called Jamie made some passing reference to his violence towards Ms Jonsson, Stan had no hesitation in peddling a variation on the classic keyboard warrior line of “come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough” – but seemed bemused into silence when other Leeds tweeters pointed out that “Jamie” could easily be a bloke, and therefore not on the Collymore list of safe targets.
It’s all quite disgusting, of course, but probably to be expected of someone who styles himself an award winning broadcaster, presumably to compensate for the embarrassing fact that he won the square root of sod-all as a footballer. There’s some insecurity and anxiety going on there, and that should be recognised. But if Stan’s going to stick his head above the parapet in his current career, to make daft remarks about a bona fide legend in Bielsa, then he must expect to be targeted in the odd salty response, with references to his unfortunate past thrown in.
It’d be nice also if Collymore could refrain from hinting at violence, even if it’s only in cases where he possibly thinks his target is female. Then again, sadly, leopards don’t tend to change their spots.
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